Into the Fire
by taylorjsomeday
Summary: Kushinas life has been one of tragedy, beginning with her brother going rogue and getting worse from there But even after betrayal, the destruction of her family, and being forced into a strange world, one man can make her life worthwhile again. MinaKushi
1. Preface

**Hey, I'm TG!**

**This is my first Naruto fanfic, seeing as I have only written for Twilight before, but this should be a fun story to write. ^_^ I absolutely looooove the manga, the anime, and the fanfics I have read for this before, so I figured that it only made sense that I attempt a Naruto fanfic of my own. This story will be one of my favorite pairing stories: the Minato x Kushina story ^o^ **

**I adore stories about Naruto's parents, and I'd like to see more of them. This one will be both similar and very different to other MinaKushi stories you might have read in the past. So go ahead and read the preface, and enjoy! (The first chapter should be up tonight or tomorrow)**

**Tell me what you think of the preface in a review!**

**Keep reading-**

**TG**

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Preface:

_Fire._

If it all began this way, in fire, it seemed appropriate that it should end in the same fashion. So long ago, my life had seemed to be immersed in that very word: my home, my family, my friends, my _everything_ had gone up in flames. Fire had been a relentless, ruthless force of nature in my eyes. Fire could sweep over an entire life, an entire country, so thoroughly, leaving everything in its path charred and unrecognizable. Everything I had ever loved had been rendered to nothing more than piles of ash.

It had seemed a cruelly ironic fate to find myself in the Land of Fire, but that's where I had found myself. It wasn't fair that I had to be subjected to this new land—to these new people, who seemed to represent the very thing I hated. But that's when I met him: That famous, or infamous depending on whom you would ask, ninja who was said to harbor the power of the _will of fire._ I had never thought that fire could be beautiful, until he found me. Fire, if you thought about it, was just as fluid as the water which I held so dear. It could be gentle and infinitely helpful: but it could be monstrous and unforgiving. I found that fire, like everything else in life and nature, had both a good and bad side. He had taught me that. He let me know that fire didn't have to be feared, but respected. He had taught me the true nature of fire.

But, my peace of mind was short lived. Here I was, having to face yet another tragedy. It seems like I've had to go through more loss than any other kunoichi to date. I wasn't allowed to have bonds, to make emotional ties with people to connect me to them, because fire seemed to have a personal grudge against me. If there was some connection between someone else and me, the fire would slowly creep over me and find its way to other person until that person was in ashes too. He had made everything seem alright; made it seem like that fire would finally be tamed, if not extinguished. I could finally feel something other than the incessant burn that I'd had to adapt to, and it was all because of the trust I had in him

But just when I began to trust him and his _will_ _of fire, _I found myself the same way I had been time and time again: _burned._


	2. The Great Whirlpool

**Hello there! **

**I'm TG, and I'm proud to present to you the first chapter of my first Naruto Fanfiction! ^_^ Like I said before, this will be a Minato and Kushina story, but primarily focuses on Kushina's life. So here we begin, Kushina is now eleven years old. **

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Tell me what you think in a review...**

**Keep Reading!**

**-TG**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kushina, or any other of Masashi Kishimoto's characters or plotlines, but Keiko, Hiromasa, Kimi, Kenji, and Kazuo are all mine! Hahaha... especially Kazuo 3**

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Chapter 1- The Great Whirlpool

"In the world there are five great nations: the Land of Fire, the Land of Wind, the Land of Lightning, the Land of Water, and the Land of Earth. And each of these nations is home to one of the five great shinobi villages: can anyone tell me what those five villages are." As Hiromasa-sensei's question drew to a close, I watched most of the students' hands shoot up. All were fidgeting anxiously in their seats, wanting to answer a question they knew the answer to, but I felt bored out of my mind. I knew the answer to the question; this one was far too easy. But I didn't raise my hand. This part of becoming a real ninja was the painful one—sitting in a class of students while there are real battles to be fought outside. I was ready for it, but the genin exams weren't for a few weeks still. That was just a few more weeks I'd have to endure.

Finally, Hiromasa-sensei called on someone: and not just any someone either. This girl was Keiko Uzumaki, my very distant cousin. But, in reality, practically everyone in this village was somehow related to me, seeing as the Uzumaki family was the founding family, and it hadn't been all that long ago that our village had been discovered. It was not only that, but the fact that women who married Uzumaki men had an odd tendency to have only sons- and many of them at that, all of whom would carry on the family name. My father was the oldest of seven boys; my uncles. When my father's six brothers had married, all of them had succeeded in having more than five children each, only boys—which would be why I have thirty-seven male first-cousins so far. My father had been the odd one out. He had married a girl who had been preapproved by the clan elders, and they had had two sons—my older brothers. When a third child was on the way, everyone figured it would be another boy. I was a surprise to the family even at birth, and I hadn't stopped surprising them since then.

"Thank you, Hiromasa-sensei." Keiko purred in a way that automatically screamed teacher's pet. "Respectively, the shinobi villages are Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaf; Sunagakure, the Village Hidden in the Sand; Kumogakure, the Village Hidden in the Clouds; Kirigakure, the Village Hidden in the Mist; and Iwagakure, the Hidden Stone Village."

When Keiko was finished, she looked pleased with herself. She considered herself, and others did as well, the smartest person in the entire class. She was smart, I'd admit that. But if we really had to get down to specifics, I knew more about shinobi now than she would in years. Not only that, but I doubted she had much fighting potential at the moment. A real ninja needs a brain, but that's only a tiny fraction of what it means to be called a ninja. Hiromasa-sensei gave my cousin one of those pleased, proud teacher smiles and said in his best, self-degrading voice. "_Very_ good, Keiko."

I swear if my cousin didn't have ears, her smile would have never stopped. Everyone around her was staring at her rather hatefully, in the way only the brains of the class can be hated. This was another reason I didn't flaunt my knowledge, but at this particular moment my pride had to show a little bit. "Hate to break it to you Hiromasa-sensei, Keiko-chan, but you're both wrong. You're forgetting something."

"What? That's absurd!" Keiko wailed, and I had the urge to cut off my ears with a kunai if that would make the horrible sound of her voice stop.

"Whatever do you mean, Uzumaki-san?" Hiromasa-sensei asked incredulously, and I scowled a bit at the title. As a child of the main branch of the Uzumaki family, I was treated with more respect than what was called for in normal social situations. It sounded like getting unmerited respect from almost everyone you met was a good thing, but sometimes it got annoying. Like, for example, when you try to make friends but they can't stop calling you by you're last name like you're their superior. I didn't think I was automatically better than anyone else, and I didn't want to be treated like I did.

"I mean," I stated, trying to speak over the annoying exclamations that Keiko had filled the room with. "That you have forgotten one of the, if not _the_, most important hidden shinobi village there is: Uzugakure, the village hidden by the whirlpool."

There was a mixed response from the class to what I said. Some people laughed, scoffing at what they thought was a ridiculous idea. Some people murmured their agreement, but quiet enough so that I couldn't really tell who had done so. Hiromasa-sensei laughed as well, but he spoke his response. "That's a very nice thought you have, but it is technically wrong. Our village of Uzugakure is practically brand new in comparison to the other great shinobi villages, and therefore is a long way from being recognized as such. It is good that you have pride in your village, but don't spout false information to the rest of the class."

Keiko _hmph_ed in a high-pitched, condescending tone, and it seemed to make my blood boil beneath my skin. "Well, I don't care." I said. "What gives them the right to the titles and not us? Who gets to decide what villages are great enough?"

"The daimyos decide to put their greatest faith and support in certain villages. It is not up to us. We have to prove our village is worthy of a kage and a title, but maybe someday we will. But, for the sake of learning the lesson, I beg you to accept that reasoning." When Hiromasa-sensei finished speaking, the entire class seemed to turn towards where I sat at the top of the room as if anticipating my response.

I smirked, looking directly at my sensei as I spoke. "I refuse to accept that. As sure as my name is Kushina Uzumaki, our village will be great. We will be a force to be reckoned with, and when people hear of the great shinobi villages, there will be six. And when that day comes, I will be the kage of this village."

Only one laugh echoed around the room after my exclamation, and that was Keiko's. After she realized that no one else had found what I said as hysterical as she had, she looked around the room in shock. "What?!" She looked around at our fellow classmates. "You can't honestly believe her? She'll be kage the day the great whirlpool stops spinning."

The class gasped at her choice of words, knowing that mention of the destruction of the great whirlpool was the unmentionable taboo in our village. I wasn't shocked, just angry. "Take it back." I muttered. "Take it back right now."

She glared at me, and muttered. "Make me."

That was the only cue I needed. Without hesitation, I launched across the desks towards her, and she screamed like I could only expect a wimpy girl like her to. As I jumped on top of her, I heard the sensei call my name. I cocked my fist back in preparation to strike, but was pulled up off of her before my hand had even touched her.

"Class dismissed." I heard an angry growl from behind me say, and the other students didn't have to be asked twice to leave early from school. "Except for you, Kushina. I'll let your family deal with the problems between you and your cousin, but I will be providing discipline for disrupting the class and fighting in school. Do you have anything to say for yourself, young lady?"

He had already placed me back down on the floor, and I was purposefully avoiding his gaze in my anger. My arms crossed over my chest in annoyance, thinking how ironic the situation was. Just moments ago, Hiromasa-sensei had been calling me Uzumaki-san like I was his superior, and now he wasn't even bothering to tack on a suffix to my name. Worst of all, he had called me _young lady. _Ugh, I cringed at the mention of the word. Even at eleven years old, I could hardly be considered a young lady. There wasn't much lady-like about me, to my mother's deep chagrin. I was a tomboy, there was no doubt about that. That's what happened when you grew up in a predominantly male clan and household; it seemed rather inevitable that I would be less girly than anyone had hoped. Keiko was girly, but she had a younger sister, Kimi. Those two, who were probably my fourth or fifth cousins if that was even possible, were probably the only biologically related girly-girls in the entire Uzumaki clan. I, Kushina Uzumaki, was _not_ a young lady.

"She had it coming to her." I muttered, and I heard my sensei's exasperated sigh in response.

"Alright, Kushina-hime. You know the drill." _Oh great,_ I thought, my inner self fuming in annoyance. _Not only am I "young lady" or "uzumaki-baa-chan" but _Princess_ Kushina. Just keep the good names comin' Sensei!_ Without voicing my thoughts, I stalked over to the chalkboard and grabbed the piece of chalk, beginning to write out "I will not disrupt the class…" for the first out of many times I would this evening. Hiromasa-sensei watched me for a few moments, and returned to his desk to start filing through papers. He looked up at me every few moments, and after a little while I figured out a pattern in his watch over me. It was then that I had an ingenious idea, and it took all my will power not to laugh diabolically when it came to me. The next time sensei looked down; I made a few quick hand signs and whispered the name of a jutsu. I watched for sensei's reaction to the jutsu in my peripherals, seeing if he had sensed anything out of the ordinary. When he didn't, I had to say I was a little disappointed. I knew that academy teachers only had to be chunin level or higher, but even a chunin should have been able to see through my rudimentary genjutsu.

After a while of continuing to write on the board, Hiromasa-sensei looked up to see the entire chalkboard filled with the same line. "Alright, Uzumaki-san." He said, and I was almost happy with the name as long as it wasn't Princess. "You're free to go. But don't think I won't be talking to your parents about this again."

"Wouldn't expect anything less from you, sensei." I said with a sarcastic edge to my words. I turned away from the chalk board as he scanned it and made for the door. "Later, Sensei."

He waved from his desk, and when he wasn't looking my way, I made one more hand signal and muttered "Release!"

A distinctive pop sliced through the air around me as my genjutsu released. As Hiromasa-sensei looked up at the chalkboard, trying to find the source of the sound I saw his expression was a mix of shock and anger. On the board, where he had seen lines and lines of disciplinary writings, appeared now what I had actually drawn: a detailed animation of me, squishing my sensei beneath my foot. On the top corner of the board, in a huge speech bubble, the animated me said "GOTCHA SENSEI!!"

I'm sure sensei was angry, but I could also tell he was impressed. It wasn't every day that you saw an academy student be able to pull the wool over a chunin's eyes using a genjutsu. My genjutsu was only basic, seeing as I hadn't really focused on it as much ninjutsu or taijutsu, but it was much better than the average academy student, or genin for that matter. As Hiromasa-sensei's shock went back to anger, I heard him yell from the room. "KUSHINAAAA!"

But I was already gone, running outside of the school unable to control my laughter. I didn't risk slowing down as I made my way through the little village to my clan compound. Half-way between the academy and the compound, I collided with someone. The person was tall and strong, so they didn't even stumble when my little body made contact with theirs.

"Kushina?" the person asked, and I didn't need to see the person to know whose voice it was. The lack of honorific was another clue, seeing as it wasn't necessary for older siblings to use them with their younger sibling.

I looked up into the face of my older brother, knowing which one it was but wishing it was the other. I muttered, "Oh. Kenji-onii-san… sorry."

"Hmm." He muttered in response to my apology, which didn't exactly seem like he accepted. "You're late from the academy. What did you do this time?"

"Oh, um…" I scrambled, shuffling from foot to foot in my nervousness. He gave me that look of superiority, and I finally sighed and told him. "I tried to hit Keiko-san. She was doing that know-it-all thing again, and I couldn't stand it."

"_Kushina._" He said with disappointment. "Those who are inferior to you will always both look up to you and envy you. You can not react to those who insist on instigating you, and you must show a good—"

"Example for those who look up to you. _I know." _I said, knowing the same old speech I had been given from mother and father and now big brother time and time again.

"It's pretty hard to look up to someone who's such a squirt." A different, amused voice said from a few feet away from us. I looked over to see the classic red hair and crooked headband of my oldest brother.

"'Zuo-nii-kun!" I ran to my oldest brother and gave him a big hug—he was the only person other than my mother who was allowed to do so. He laughed and looked over at our much more serious, raven-haired brother.

"'Sup, Kenji-toto-san?" I watched Kenji cringe at the name: he hated being referred to as little brother. "How was the mission? Any problems?"

"Kazuo-niisan." He acknowledged our brother, though it looked like he did it purely out of respect and not because he had any desire to. "Uneventful. But, as you know, the most successful missions are."

The incessant arrogance to my brother's tone was something both my eldest brother and I couldn't stand about Kenji. Kazuo looked at our brother with his signature amused smirk and said, 'I don't know, totosan… I can't seem to enjoy a mission unless I get some action in it. Get my hands a little dirty, you know?"

Kenji scowled, and turned his nose up as he began to walk away. "Getting your hands unnecessarily dirty doesn't contribute to the greater good of the mission. It only shows poor leadership on your part that you think that way."

As Kenji walked away from us, by oldest brother and I watched him depart. When I looked up to see Kazuo's face, there was a darker, more meaningful look to it than his normal amused expression. He seemed to be absorbing Kenji's previous choice of words slowly, actually thinking about what his younger brother had said with consideration. After a few moments of looking at him, he sighed and faced me. "Squirt, am I right in assuming that delaying your arrival home is for the benefit of your life?"

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head, and nodded. "Alright," He said then, his normal personality beginning to show again. "How 'bout some sustenance for the road, and we go to the usual spot then?"

I nodded enthusiastically, and followed my brother to a local shop. We bought a few boxes of pocky, knowing each other well enough to know that we would both rather be eating ramen. Our obsession with the food was just another aspect that made Kazuo and me so similar. Not to mention the fact that we both took strongly after our mother's side of the family: from the trademark bright red hair and slate gray eyes to the outgoing and often stubborn personalities. Our brother Kenji, however, had taken greatly to father's side of the family: all of the men having the same raven hair and dark eyes and the serious, calm personality. It was like the two sides were polar opposites, and Kazuo and I had often wondered how mother and father had married and had three kids without killing each other. They had been an arranged marriage by the clan elders; so compatibility had obviously not been a determining factor. Our mother had been the daughter of the leader of the next highest ranking clan in the Village, so it seemed good to marry her off to the highest clan head's son. I often worried about whether or not my mother was happy with us and if she ever actually wanted to get married and have a bunch of kids. I often thought she might have gone through with all of this out of obligation to her clan—I couldn't imagine a life like that for me.

Lost in my thoughts, I followed Kazuo aimlessly as we left towards the edge of town to head to the little forest that bordered it. When we got closer and closer to the ocean, the trees thinned until they opened up into a huge cave on the ocean's edge. We made our way to the entrance of the cave, the roof of which was open to the blue sky above. On the roof, huge columns of stalactites cascaded down like the cave was melting above us. The stalagmites on the bottom of the cave were rounded on the top from the erosion of the ocean tide creeping into the cave from below. The entire bottom of the cave was sunken in and filled with water, but the stalagmites provided perfect seats to look over the water from. Many of the stalagmites were littered with flowers, money, and incense as offerings to the swirling water below: the great whirlpool.

This was Kazuo's and my favorite spot because there was certain serenity to sitting on holy ground. It was peaceful, and people often came and went but never reprimanded us for spending long periods of time here. We made our way to the tallest, flattest stalagmite in the cave and Kazuo lifted me up to the surface before lifting his self on top. The hike up to our favorite spot would be the reason we had decided on pocky over ramen: ascending smooth pillars of stone while carrying steaming bowls of broth was harder than it sounded—we would know, having tried it before. First, though, he found a smaller platform and placed one of the three boxes of pocky on top as well as a ryo coin. His other coin was reserved for me. Every time we came here, we would leave some sort of offering. This was a protected holy ground, so no one would dare steal the money or food offerings. It was legend that if someone were to steal an offering from the stones in the cave, the whirlpool would rapidly turn into a great vortex and swallow the thief whole: it might have been a rumor, but no one was willing to test the theory. Once a month, on the full moon, the tide would flood the entire cave and the whirlpool would reach high enough to collect all of the offerings. It was an amazing force of nature, and the basis of our village and my own clan.

As I perched myself on top of the highest stalagmite, I tossed my own ryo coin straight into the vortex, and watched as it disappeared into the swirling abyss. The churning waters were slow, but strong. There had been stories about people falling into the whirlpool and being sucked down forever, but those might have been rumors as well. If I had to die, though, being consumed by the great whirlpool didn't seem like a half-bad way to go. I had always had a certain attachment to water: I could swim before I could walk, seeing as I had lived by the ocean shores my entire life. Water was calming and peaceful. It sustained all life, and it was home for millions of creatures. Water could be gentle, but also strong and formidable. Water was the perfect element. Last year, Kazuo had snuck a piece of chakra-testing paper to me for kicks, knowing his own chakra affiliation was water. When I had focused my chakra into the paper, as Kazuo had taught me to do, the paper had become soggy and wet. I had been overjoyed, as Kazuo had been when he found out his chakra affiliation was water. We had gone out for ramen to celebrate our secret discovery.

"So what'd you do this time, 'shina? You sure got Ji-Ji all riled up back there… _well,_ as riled up as he can really get." He broke me out of my reminiscing and I laughed. I hadn't seen Kazuo in a while, so it was refreshing to hear someone call me Shina. When Kazuo and I were together, we often affectionately referred to our family members without the first syllable in their names, seeing as every biologically related Uzumaki had a name that started with K. I referred to my oldest brother as Zuo, sometimes Zu-Zu—though he didn't like that one very much. He called me Shina, and both of us referred to Kenji as Ji-Ji, though we would never say so to his face: we actually valued our lives.

"Oh…" I said sheepishly. "Um, well I tried to hit Iko-chan. You know how she can be."

"Yeah, I do…" Kazuo said, rubbing the stubble he had growing on his chin thoughtfully. It was funny, but I just realized how old Kazuo had grown. He was almost twenty now, but I had always seen him as my teenage brother who had always acted the same age as I was. But now he had lost his goofy adolescent looks, and with it, some of his goofy personality. He was a full-grown man now, and I hadn't even realized it.

"How's it going with Otosan?" I asked, trying to deflect the spotlight away from me for a moment.

"It's not." He grumbled, obviously frustrated. He and our father had always argued over everything, but as of late there had only been one argument that they ever really focused on. "He just doesn't understand me. I try to talk to him, to tell him about my dreams, but he never listens. It's always _Kazuo, when you're clan leader… _this and _A leader's supposed to…_that, but, if he stopped for a moment to listen to me, he would know that I don't care. I think he knows deep down that I sincerely don't want to lead our clan, but he knows it's what is expected of me. I think the reason he tries so hard to drill the idea into my head is that he thinks I might warm up to the idea. Father is not a cruel person: he doesn't like to have to force things upon his children, but the elders will throw a fit if the title isn't given to the eldest son of the clan leader. It's tradition—and, among our family, you know that tradition is viewed above all logical sense."

I nodded slowly, knowing well what he was referring to. The women in the Uzumaki family had always been refined, sensitive young ladies, so I wasn't exactly _traditional_ either. In a few weeks, with the genin exams, I would become the first Uzumaki woman to ever become a full-fledged ninja… assuming I got a better score than Keiko on my exams. If I got a better score than her, I would get my headband and status before she did—making me the first ever Uzumaki kunoichi.

"I fear the stability of our entire family if I am to rule." He looked down at the swirling vortex below us, and mumbled almost to himself—or maybe he was talking to me, maybe to the great whirlpool. "If father had his way and if things were at all fair, Kenji would be appointed clan leader. It only makes sense: he is almost exactly father, looks and all. It would be like he continued on his own term if Kenji were to rule. It doesn't make sense that I should have to be it, when everyone in the clan knows Kenji would make a better ruler. The only way it would ever work is if father were to disown me, which he would never dishonor me by doing. Not that I would mind, though."

"What?!" I exclaimed, shocked at what I had just heard my brother say.

He shrugged, way too nonchalant to follow what he had been talking about. "If disowning me is what it takes for myself, for our brother, and for our clan to be happy, I would gladly agree. But like I said, father respects me too much to do it."

"Don't talk like that." I muttered, deeply concerned over my brother's sanity. "You may not make the traditional leader, but you're probably just what this clan needs. Kenji is practically emotionally stunted—he's _too_ structured. As clan leader, you would have to make decisions that affect the entire family and clan. You can't just do something because it's proper; not when your family is at stake. Kenji _seems_ perfect, but he's probably most susceptible to that kind of mistake."

Kazuo laughed one of deep, throaty laughs that echoed around the cave. "Ah, thanks 'shina. That's what I needed; a good laugh. But you know, if we're being perfectly honest, I think Kenji and I would both make pretty horrific leaders. I wouldn't be structured enough; Kenji would be _too_ structured… I think the solution here is obvious: You would be the best clan leader, 'Shina."

"What?!" I yelled, shocked. As impossible as it was, I was flattered. Kazuo joked around with me and loved me like a big brother should, but it was very rare when he would make a genuine, significant compliment like that.

"It only makes sense! Think about it: Kenji and father have the awesome leadership and ninja skills. Mother, you, and I have the sense of humor, the high goals… and not to mention the good looks." Kazuo winked, and I laughed. "Kenji's just like father, and I'm pretty sure I'm just like mom before she was married. But you, 'Shina? You got the best of both families: you're a great ninja no matter how much crap everyone in the family is giving you for it; you actually have a personality and a sense of humor; _and_ you got the makings of a great leader someday."

"Don't forget the good looks!" Kazuo and I laughed, but I was secretly thinking about what he had said. "I suppose that if you and Kenji were somehow both overlooked for the title and women were suddenly allowed to be clan leaders, I could do it just fine. But I'm setting my sights higher—not just the first female clan leader, but the first kage of the whirlpool village."

Kazuo laughed, though I could tell he wasn't making fun of the idea itself. "I suppose you're right, 'Shina: You're even too good for clan leader. I have confidence that one day you'll make a great kage."

I punched his shoulder playfully. "Thanks, Bro."

He smiled back half-heartedly, but didn't say anything for a long time. We both just sat watching the whirlpool, and I realized that Kazuo was pondering something. I didn't push him to tell me though. If I knew my brother at all, he would tell me in due time, or at least give me a good idea. But silent seconds grew into silent minutes, and Kazuo had still yet to say anything. I ate my pocky, waiting patiently for him to speak again.

"Promise me something, Kushina." I jolted up to look at him, taken back from the long period of silence. Not only that, but I knew this was serous: Kazuo had used my full name.

"Sure, anything." I muttered, my eyes wide in anticipation of what he would say.

"No matter what happens in life you'll remember that I'm your brother and that I love you." He said, only looking down at the water as he spoke. The tone of his voice worried me—it was like he was saying goodbye or something.

I shook my head, and made a feeble attempt at humor. "How could I forget that? We're kinda biologically connected, you know?"

He didn't laugh. He looked at my face and scrutinized it for a few moments before smiling at me. The smile didn't reach his eyes though. "Alright. I guess we should be getting back to the compound then. You have to face the music eventually, 'Shina."

I nodded, letting him help me up even though I was perfectly capable of getting up myself. As I stepped down the rocks with him, I wasn't thinking about the punishment waiting for me back at home. I looked at my brother where he walked in front of me, and- though he was right there where I could see him- I could feel him getting farther and farther away from me.

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**Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Into the Fire! Keep an eye out for the next chapter, which I've alrady written. I just need to have the next one edited, then we'll be on our way! **

**Reviews are welcomed ^_^**

**-TG**


	3. Foolish to Dream

**Hey guys :)**

**This is the next chapter of "Into the Fire." Chapter 2: Foolish to Dream. ^_^ This one was both fun and hard to write. Writing Naruto fanfiction is new for me, so I'm doing the best I can at it. I hope I can stay enough with Masashi Kishimoto's magic but add some of my own voice in it. Tell me how I'm doing in a review, if you'd like. That would be insanely helpful.**

**Keep Reading Everyone!**

**Reviews are welcome**

**-TG**

**Disclaimer: The Naruto storyline, setting, and main characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, not me! Akahana (Kushina's mom), Katsutoshi (Kushina's dad), Kenji and Kazuo (Kushina's brothers) all belong to me though. :) Eh... you can have Kenji, he's no fun. Kazuo's mine though.**

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Chapter 2- Foolish to Dream

After I had kicked off my boots, I sank onto my bed still fully garbed in my ninja clothes. I was too exhausted to change, or to move for that matter. My bed had never been that comfortable, but now it felt like it was a mattress made of clouds sent straight down by Kami. My body was so fatigued that I thought that if I fell asleep now, I might slip into a blissful coma for a few months or years. I would have been fine with that idea, only I couldn't sleep through tomorrow. Tomorrow was what I had been waiting for since the day I could say the word "ninja." Tomorrow was why I was completely whooped. Tomorrow was the genin exams.

After my little stunt with Keiko, my parents had been brutal with my training schedule—and by that I mean they wouldn't allow me to train outside of the academy for two weeks straight. _Two weeks_ without touching a real kunai or shuriken or practicing any advanced jutsu. It had been terrible. I didn't even know what to do with myself. I could study, but I already knew the entire ninja guidebook. Just for kicks, I read it again twice to get myself ahead in the game for the written portion of the exam. I was so engrossed in my book studies that eventually my father took away that too. My parents sure knew how to punish me, as backwards as it may have seemed. Most kids didn't get to go outside or hang out with friends or get their allowance when they were grounded. I got my training and studies taken away from me. It was smart, I guess, to take away the things that mattered most to me as punishment, but seriously! Who takes away a child's education as a consequence? That's so wrong it's practically criminal.

That is why, since I had had my sentence released a week ago, I had been training harder than I ever had before. After a whole day at the training grounds going over the most basic routines a few thousand times and returning home in a worn state, my brothers had offered to assist me in my training. When Kazuo offered that night at supper, I hadn't been that surprised. Whenever Kazuo was on leave from missions, he usually took a day or two of his free time to help me in my training. However, that time had been decreasing since he had been taking more and more missions. Though, for the past few weeks, it had been strange: he hadn't taken a single mission. After Kazuo had suggested he help me, it had been a great shock to everyone at the dinner table- even my father- when Kenji had offered to help as well. Kenji had _never_ helped me train before, not counting a few grumbled critiques whenever I was practicing in the gardens and he happened to pass by. That's how I had found myself six days ago, with two very different, but equally tough, trainers.

Kazuo was specialized in genjutsu, which is how- as an academy student- I was able to perform genjutsu so well. Kenji, on the other hand, was an expert at taijutsu. Both boys, however, were equally talented at ninjutsu, having inherited the exact same chakra affiliations and family jutsu. With the combined efforts of both my brothers (the first time I had ever seen them work together without fighting, I might add), I found myself doing intensive genjutsu, taijutsu, and- above all- ninjutsu training. When I was through with a physical exercise, they'd have me do a mental exercise. When I was done with the mental exercise, they'd have me do a chakra control exercise. I could handle a full day of training with Kazuo _or _Kenji… but together they made some sort of uncontrollable, Nazi ninja duo. If I thought one day was bad with them, then six days with them had been pure torture. Everyday was different, but just as brutal as the last. Every night, I'd practically pass out from chakra exhaustion and have to be carried back to the compound on Kazuo's back. Today, however, I had at least been able to walk back to the compound myself. That was mainly because, today, unlike the past week, had been different. At noon, Kenji had been called on a mission and Kazuo had been acting strangely all day.

_Flashback_

_As I assaulted the tree stump in front of me, I closed my eyes in pain. The pattern was simple…punch, punch, double punch, roundhouse house kick, front kick, spinning kick, punch, punch, double punch…Over and over again until it didn't matter that I couldn't keep my eyes open, because I could probably do it in my sleep. My arms screamed in protest with every thrust, and I could feel the muscles in my legs spasm with each return they made after kicking. I had to fight through the pain though—I couldn't back down now. Tomorrow was the exam, so this was my last chance to practice before the real thing. I couldn't stop now… couldn't stop…couldn't—_

"_Stop." The deep voice said from beside me. I ignored it though. Kenji wasn't there to look over my taijutsu training, but Kazuo was sufficient for it. I had been doing this routine enough over the past week that I could do it without supervision. If Kazuo needed to leave, I could stay here and do this myself. "Kushina, stop."_

_I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. Thought I knew that my brother was being serious, I didn't respect his orders. Through my heavy pants, I muttered. "Can't… stop."_

_The next punch I threw was stopped before it could make contact with the unforgiving wooden surface of the stump. Kazuo had reached out and grabbed my wrist. My whole body lost momentum with that one failed punch, and the lack of movement allowed the exhaustion to take its place. My bloody knuckles and screaming muscles cheered in thanks that they didn't have to work anymore. The fatigue was so sudden and overwhelming that I could feel my body give way beneath me. As I lost control of my ability to stand, Kazuo caught me and slung me over his shoulder. In my exhausted stupor, I tried feebly to object. _

"'_Shina…" Kazuo said, gentler this time. He knew I didn't have the energy to protest, much less keep my eyes open. "I said that's enough."_

_I muttered something unintelligible and allowed all my limbs to relax, letting my full weight rest on Kazuo's shoulder. I dozed off for a few moments before bright lights above me invaded my eyelids. I blinked a few times, trying to figure out where I was. As a delicious smell pervaded my nostrils, I perked up in surprise. "Ramen?" I asked in delight._

_I could feel the vibrations of Kazuo's laugh beneath me. "Wow. Who needs smelling salts? Ramen cures comas too."_

_I laughed, and punch at my brother's back. "Let me down! I want Ramen!"_

_Kazuo lifted me off his shoulder, laughing all the while. "All right, All right, settle down tiger. You heard the girl! We need a miso ramen with extra pork over here! Stat!"_

_When I was finally returned to Earth from my six foot seven brother's shoulders, I hopped up onto the stool in front of the counter. This was Kazuo's and my favorite place to eat, seeing as it served the best ramen in the village. When the bowl of steaming broth and noodles was placed before me, it took me ten seconds to be half way through with the entire bowl. I didn't even realize how ravenous I had been until the food was in front of me._

"_Woah! Slow it down there!" Kazuo said, only a few bites into his own bowl. "I've never heard of anyone being suffocated by lack of breaths while eating ramen, but you might be the first 'Shina."_

_I didn't respond until a few seconds later, when I slurped up the last of the broth. "More." I muttered, gasping a little._

"_Comin' right up!" The waitress said, knowing well from previous visits that I had a minimum of two bowls per sitting. Kazuo just watched in wonder as I downed the next bowl a minute after the waitress placed it on the counter in front of me. I asked for another bowl without hesitation._

"_Damn, 'Shina. For such a tiny girl you sure have a big stomach." I nodded at my brother, eating my next bowl slower to actually enjoy the taste. _

_When I finished, I leaned back giving a satisfied sigh. "You think we can go back to the training grounds now?" I asked hopefully._

"_No." Kazuo said forcefully. "You do not need anymore training, or you won't be able to walk tomorrow, much less take three rigorous tests. 'Shina, why are you so worried? You're already far past the level of any of the other students in your class. You know that. You are more than ready."_

"_I know I'm ready." I said, looking into my empty bowl as I spoke. "But I can't just be ready: I have to be the best. If Keiko gets a better accumulated score on the tests, she'll probably be first in our class. If she is first in our class, she'll get her status as a ninja first. If she gets her status as a ninja first, you know what that makes me?"_

_Kazuo didn't answer me, instead just watching me intently as I spoke. "That makes me the _second_ Uzumaki woman to ever be a ninja. What good is second?"_

_Kazuo sighed and shook his head. "I suppose I understand that. Second in line doesn't exactly get you any where, does it?"_

"_Exactly." I said definitively, trying not to notice the obvious reference he had made to our brother. _Second in line…_ just like Kenji. He was a prime example—destined to lead our clan but unable to fulfill his destiny because he had been born second. Kazuo had been mentioning that subject a lot lately and it seemed to instantly make the air around us go from casual to tense. I tried to change the subject. "So, when I _do _become the first Uzumaki woman to ever be a ninja, you'll be there to see it, right?"_

_I expected Kazuo to match my smile, but he didn't. It was disconcerting. "I can't promise that, 'Shina. I can't know where I'll be tomorrow, much less in two weeks."_

"_Why would you say that?" I demanded. "Where are you going?"_

"_No where." He quickly said—too quickly. "You just never know in the life of a ninja. One day you're here, and the next day you're gone."_

"_Like on a mission?" I asked, though I knew deep inside that that was not what this was about. For some reason though, he said it was._

"_Yeah." He muttered quietly. "Like on a mission. A challenging one that tries your very heart and soul, but you know you have to do it for the good of your home. You understand that, right Kushina?"_

_I nodded, though I didn't quite want to understand what he was referring to. I could feel it again—that sense of foreboding that made me think he was saying goodbye. I felt that distance again; even when I knew he was only inches away from me. In reality though, he was far, far away from the ramen stand where we sat. _

_End Flashback_

I thought about that incident again while I lay on my thin mattress, looking up at the ceiling. Kazuo had said many things like that over the past month, and it deeply worried me. What did he mean by all that? He couldn't be really considering leaving, could he? He wouldn't do that to me, to our mother… would he?

I left those disturbing thoughts for later. Right now I had to focus on sleeping. When I slept, the new day would come sooner. The sooner tomorrow came, the sooner I would be a real ninja. With that thought, I finally let my body succumb to my exhaustion.

I jolted awake, knowing instantly that something was wrong. I had been shaken awake by a distant crash that shook the door and the frame of my bed beneath me. I didn't have to let my mind register before I could think—I knew that I always had to be alert if I ever wanted to be a good ninja. I had been training myself to wake up instantly since I had started at the academy. I looked around my room, which was eerily calm after such a loud noise outside the compound. Without any further hesitation, I sprung from my bed and stepped into my boots. It was fortunate that I had fallen asleep in my ninja clothes: this way I was already prepared for a confrontation.

When I skidded across the wood panels of the floor through the hallway, a voice stopped me as I reached the door. "Kushina?"

I looked over, seeing the signature red hair which I had inherited my own from. "Mom?" I asked, eyeing her as she lifted a cup of tea to her lips.

"Kushina, dear, don't go out. Your father and your brother have already gone to see what's wrong. Everything is fine, sweetheart. Go back to bed." As convincing as her arguments were, I was not fazed. Something else was going on here, I just knew it. Her tone of voice wasn't as calm as my mother normally was. As she lifted the little cup to her lips, her hand shook ever so slightly. I knew that my mother was worried.

"Mom, what's going on? I know everything isn't just fine. What happened?" Though I had stopped, my hand still rested on the door knob. I was ready to go at a moment's notice.

My mother scrutinized my face for a moment until she eventually spoke in a timid whisper. "Your brother has gone missing. He was gone before your father and brother left, so he might have just left to inspect the sound but…"

My body tensed immediately. I didn't have to ask which brother she was referring to—I knew it subconsciously in my heart: Kazuo was gone. I didn't need to hear any more to make up my mind. I was out the door before my mother could try to convince me otherwise. I didn't know where to go, but I followed the direction from which I had heard the crash. As I traveled that direction without seeing anything out of the ordinary, I began to run faster—realizing frantically where I was heading. When I reached the forest and still had yet to see the source of the crash, I knew where the problem was. It wasn't until I entered the area through the parted trees that I believed it though—the sound had come from the cave of the great whirlpool.

And now, as I stood in front of it, I could see what had caused the massive crash sound. My voice hitched in my throat at the sight—seeing the space where something had once been with a horrible feeling in my gut. The cave of the great whirlpool had collapsed, destroying the great whirlpool beneath it. Now, where the once holy shrine of our village sat was a pile of rubble which the ocean had already covered. Sharp rocks protruded from the ocean's surface as the wind whipped the massive waves around it. The great, peaceful place was now only a grave sight of its previous glory. The swirling water that fell into a hole at the center had been sucked into the ocean around it. Everything that my entire clan and village had been centered around since before I was born was gone.

I was so fixated on the horrifying sight that I hadn't even realized the presence of my father in front of me. As he stood in front of me, the casual clothing he was still wearing and his loose, long black hair blew around him in the wind. He looked calm, despite the situation. Now that I took in my surroundings, I realized that the area around the shore was now a bedlam of people, all rushing to the cliff's edge to see their beloved relic buried by rocks and water. My father, however, did not show that same chaos within his soul that seemed to be present everywhere else. My father, for the first time, just looked… hurt.

"Kushina," He said, in a soft but scolding voice. "Go home. You shouldn't be here."

I stared back up into his cold face and ignored his request. "Dad… where's Kenji?"

He sighed, realizing he wasn't going to get me to go back on my own. He pointed in a direction back towards the trees, not looking into my face as he spoke. "I don't know where he went exactly. I've been trying to settle things here, but it's impossible. This is too devastating a loss to try to calm anyone. I was trying to calm the people down when I looked beside me and saw that Kenji was no longer there. I looked back and saw him disappear through the trees right over there. I'd tell you not to go after him, but I have a feeling that that isn't going to…"

But I was already gone. My father knew me well: no words were going to keep me from going after Kenji, who- I had the distinct feeling- was going where I needed to be. As I made it through the border of trees, I could see the fresh footprint impressions in the dirt beneath me. I followed them instantly, relieved that the footprints didn't end yet. If they ended, I didn't know what I would do. But, finally, I heard voices up ahead. When I got to a clearing in the trees, I crouched down. What I saw in the clearing stunned me into silence. Directly in front of me was Kenji, and- all the way across the clearing- was Kazuo.

"Kazuo!" The younger brother yelled across the clearing. "What are you doing?!"

There was a laugh from across the clearing, but it wasn't the normal, amused tone of my oldest brother's voice. This was a much darker laugh. "What does it look like I'm doing, toto-san? I'm getting out of this place, once and for all, and I'm going out with a bang."

I gasped quietly in shock, not able to believe that my brother could have really destroyed the whirlpool. He wouldn't try to ruin the very place that had been so special to us. I wouldn't believe it. Apparently, neither would Kenji. "Don't lie to me, Kazuo. I know you didn't destroy the cave. I know you wouldn't do that. I followed you out the door when you left—that time being after the explosion. You heard the explosion, took your chance, and left after dad and I left the house. That way, we couldn't stop you. Only, I wasn't leaving the compound to see where the noise was going. I was following you, Kazuo. I knew you were leaving, and I'm not prepared to let you."

"No! It's not a matter of you _letting _me leave! You can't make me stay, Kenji! You're not strong enough to fight me!" Kazuo yelled, shaking his head in his frustration. "Who's to say I didn't destroy the cave of the great whirlpool, huh? What would you do if I told you that I'd been planting long-range paper bombs inside and outside the cave every time I went there for the past month? What would you say if I told you that the explosion wasn't just a distraction—it was a plan to escape; to give the whirlpool village a big dose of reality by telling them that I can't stand their _traditions_ a moment longer."

"If you were to say that to me," Kenji said, his voice as calm as ever. "First I'd tell you you're lying to me. Then I'd tell you that you're a liar _and_ an idiot. Then I'd knock some sense back into you. I've known about your plans to leave for weeks now, Kazuo. You've been waiting for the perfect moment to leave, and that just happened to be tonight. The cave collapsing was just a convenient distraction. That place was too special to you, and to our sister for you to destroy it. You love her too much to do that to her—but, you know, if you really loved her, you wouldn't leave. She needs you, Kazuo."

"Don't talk to me about Kushina!" Kazuo screamed, sounding nothing like anything I had ever seen in him—he sounded like a mad man. "Who are you to sum up our relationship? You know _nothing_ about relationships, Kenji! Don't talk to me about how Kushina _needs _me… maybe if you would have been there for her too once in a while, I could've left a long time ago without having all these obligations! The only ease I have is that she'll finally be a ninja tomorrow, and I won't have to look after her anymore. I can finally go."

"But you don't have to go, Brother." Kenji muttered, just loud enough to be in Kazuo's and my range of hearing.

"That's where you're wrong: I do have to go. And, admit it Kenji, you _want _me to go. I'm the only thing standing in the way of the title. Think about it: with me gone, I'll be cast into the shadows and you'll have free reign over the entire Uzumaki clan and probably the entire village. All of that is yours Kenji, if you just walk away and pretend this never happened." It was then that I saw it—an almost undetectable hand sign made behind Kazuo's back. I knew what he was doing, and I narrowed my eyes in disgust. He was trying to convince Kenji using genjutsu to fog his judgment. Seeing Kenji's eyes glisten over as the genjutsu affected him, I quickly made a strong hand signal and muttered 'release' under my breath. As my chakra surged out in front of me towards my brother, it cut off Kazuo's own chakra that was causing the powerful genjutsu. Kenji's eyes were clear again, and he shook his head as if coming out of a daze.

"You're right, Kazuo. You should leave." He said definitively, and my eyes widened in shock. I must have missed something. He must have still been under the influence of the genjutsu. I attempted to release the jutsu once again, but it was no use—there _was_ no jutsu. Kenji was speaking from his own thoughts. "It would be better for everyone if you were gone, right? Kushina is a strong girl. She'll survive. Hey, who knows? With you gone, Kushina might let mother into her life like she's always been trying desperately to get her to do. Father won't have to worry about making us unhappy anymore, and I'll finally get everything I want. It's time we admit that life in the whirlpool village is better without you."

I wanted to knock out both of my brothers just then—Kazuo for wanting to leave, Kenji for agreeing with him. I was too shocked to move though, and I waited in tensed shock as the silence stretched between the two men to an unbearable level. Finally, Kazuo said, "So you're letting me go then, little brother?"

Kenji nodded, and finally I began to regain some of the control over my body. "I'm not letting you go, but I won't stop you. This choice is up to you. But you should know that the only reason I'm allowing this is not because it will make me or anyone else happy, but because I know it will make you happy. You don't want this life, and I'm freeing you from it."

Kazuo smirked in triumph, and quickly took out a kunai as if he were going to attack. Instead, he ripped off the headband from his forehead, drawing a quick line with the blad down the middle, through the swirl of the whirlpool insignia. He threw it on the ground in front of him in one final gesture. "Give this to Dad for me, would ya?"

As Kenji nodded in confirmation, I watched my older brother disappear from sight. I was suddenly yanked from my state of shock, and I ran forward towards where I had seen Kazuo disappear. I ran over the fallen headband as I made my way to the barrier of the trees. But, before I could even reach the trees, a pair of strong arms wrapped around my stomach, holding me firmly in place. "Kenji, let me go! We have to get him back!"

"Ssh…" He murmured behind me. "Kushina, this is for the best."

"How could you say that?!" I screamed, kicking and punching at him to try and get away. "We have to get Kazuo back! Kazuo! KAZUO!!!"

My screams were coming out as sobs now, and I lost the energy to fight anymore. The grief had taken over my body so suddenly that I couldn't find the will power to protest anymore. Tears sprung from my eyes, and I didn't care that I was crying, even though I usually refused to allow myself to cry. I hunched over in Kenji's grip, and he finally let me down, turning me around to face him where he knelt in front of me. He wrapped his arms around me and I pounded my fists into his back as I cried. "Why did you let him go?! He didn't have to leave!! How could you let him run away when he was right there in front of you?!"

As impossible as it was, I felt the hot wetness of tears against my own shoulder as they escaped Kenji's eyes. I had never seen Kenji cry before, but it seemed oddly appropriate now. "I know." He murmured. "But there was nothing I could have done. He's stronger than me, 'Shina. He wanted to go so badly that it wouldn't have mattered how hard I fought: he would've left anyway. This is what's best, sis. He wasn't happy here."

I sniffled, but didn't stop screaming. "That's a lie! He was happy! _You_ wanted him to leave, all so you could have his precious title! You don't honestly believe that he wanted to go!"

As I began to fight my way out of his embrace again, I felt the distinctive feeling of two fingers strike into the pressure point at the base of my skull. Suddenly, I couldn't protest any longer as the blackness consumed me.

When I woke up, I was still in Kenji's arms. He was carrying me like a baby, my back in his left arm and my legs in his right. I peeked out from beneath my heavy eyelids, which were still wet from my tears. I looked out to see we were approaching the grave sight of the great whirlpool, and the sun was rising just over the horizon. There was a procession of people crowded around the cliff's edge, but one of them wasn't looking out to the water. One figure was looking towards us, his dark silhouette outlined against the pink sky. As his gaze met our approaching figures, other heads began to turn towards us expectantly. It was then that I felt the cold chill of metal against my arm. Something was clutched in Kenji's hand, and I could see the knuckles of his fist were blanched white with the strain. I realized that the bit of black cloth and the shiny, marred metal surface was my oldest brother's headband. The swirl of the whirlpool insignia had a clean, perfect scratch through the center: the symbol of a rogue ninja. As the pain of betrayal ate at my insides like a slow, creeping fire through my heart, I closed my eyes against the ache.

"Kenji, what happened?" I heard the deep tone of my father's voice meet us. For the first time to my knowledge, my father's voice was laced with worry.

"I was too late." My brother lied smoothly, his voice no longer reflecting the anguish I had seen in him what seemed like only moments ago. "He was gone when I got there. I found this, though."

My father took the headband from my brother's hand, and clutched it just as tight as his son had done. He closed his eyes in pain, probably trying to accept the proof before his eyes. An outraged villager rudely interrupted our family meeting just then. "Are we to assume then that it was your son that caused this destruction of the great whirlpool?"

"No, you are not to assume anything." My father said in his deepest, most authoritative voice. "You are to realize that Kazuo acted of his own accord, and not on behalf of the Uzumaki family. It was not _my_ son that did this."

And, just like that, there was silence. Everyone had felt the weight of his words: he had just officially banished my brother. He was now considered dead to the family, and a threat to the entire village. Without hesitation, my father had ruthlessly passed judgment upon the situation. In our village, banishment was a binding punishment. If a rogue ninja was caught, they were to be put to death immediately without question. My brother had just been sentenced to death by our own father. Unable to take this any longer, I pushed out of my brother's grasp and landed lithely on the ground beneath us. As I stalked away, unable to look at my father's or brother's faces, there were a few gasps of surprise. No one had realized I had been conscious. My father's voice is what made me stop in my tracks. "Kushina, where do you think you're going?"

"To get ready." I replied, the coldness in my voice chilling enough to compete with the signature chill in his voice. I decided at that moment that I wouldn't let my family's actions affect me anymore—I had never liked showing weakness anyway. Now, I would be stoic, like a real ninja should be. "The genin exams are today."

I looked back over my shoulder, but didn't look into my father's face. I could feel his eyes boring into my back, which had turned against him. "That won't be necessary."

He said the words so that they were indisputable. I knew that there would be no genin exams today. "Alright." I said. "Then I'll just be training in preparation for the day they are rescheduled."

As I took another step, his words stopped me again. "You don't understand, Kushina. That won't be necessary because you won't be taking the genin exams or returning to the academy from now on. I don't want you to become a kunoichi."

My fists tightened, and my anger boiled inside me. I spoke in the coldest tone I had ever managed before. "I don't care if you want me to. It's going to happen. I'm going to be a—"

"_Kushina!"_ He said in his most no-nonsense tone. "I _said_ I don't want you to be a ninja. By that I mean that you are _forbidden_ from furthering your ninja education and gaining your rank as a genin or further. You, as my daughter and daughter of the Uzumaki main branch, shall not be a ninja. Is that understood?"

My eyes widened in shock, my fists growing tighter and tighter until I could feel the nails dig into my palms. The shock and devastation of it all was wearing down on my mental stamina, and it took everything in my will power not to break down into sobs again like I had before. I shook my head in defeat, silently cursing the men in my family for what they had done to me. Kazuo had left me here, causing everything that had occurred in his absence so far. Kenji had let him go, lying to our father and the villagers and allowing them to think our brother was a traitor and a fiend. On top of all that, however, my father had done the greatest injustice to me—he had stripped me of all my greatest dreams. He had taken away my power as a future ninja of whirlpool—_No_. He had taken away my future period. I would never be a world-renown ninja or the first kunoichi of the Uzumaki clan or the first kage of the whirlpool village.

"Kushina, I said: do you understand?" He asked, his authoritative voice taking over again as he reprimanded and mortified me in front of our entire village.

"No." I said. "I don't understand. But it's not like I have a choice in the matter."

My father nodded curtly in agreement. "It's better this way." He said, and I realized that I'd been told that a lot lately—by Kazuo, by Kenji, and now by my father. I was beginning to hate that phrase with a deep passion. "Uzumaki women aren't meant to be ninjas."

That stung worse than any kunai to the heart could have. Though I could've thought of much more important things at that moment, I realized my father was forgetting something just then—his and my distant relative, Keiko. If I said something right now, my arch rival in school would have her dreams ripped away too. If I brought to his attention the fact that there was another Uzumaki girl about to become a ninja, he would probably forbid her from becoming a ninja as well—if only to be thorough in his actions, he would go through with what he had started. But I didn't say anything.

I turned away, walking back towards the village. Sure, I could crush Keiko's dreams to bring her down with me. But in the end, what good would that do? The pain I was feeling was so deep and scarring that it didn't even vie for company. No one deserved this pain, not even me. Just because I had to endure it did not mean I have to bring down others with me. So I, Kushina Uzumaki, would not be anything I had once strived to be. Without even having to try for it, Keiko would beat me to the title of first Uzumaki kunoichi. I figured, though, that if I couldn't do it, at least it meant that someone out there was getting their dreams realized. It seemed like life just wasn't fair, but I was a fool to ever think it was.

**Soooo? What did you think? Tell me about it! I'd love to hear from you!**

**Oh, also: I'm ALWAYS looking for Great Naruto fanfiction stories to read, so if you have written something or have read something you think is great please let me know about it!**

**I don't like yaoi... at all, so none of that stuff. To give you an idea, here are my favorite Naruto pairings in order:**

**Minato and Kushina 3 3 3**

**Kakashi and Sakura (hahaha, teacher and the student I know ^_^ Love it, though)**

**Naruto and Sakura**

**Naruto and Shion (from the Shippuden movie)**

**Naruto and Hinata **

**Shikamaru and Temari**

**Kakashi and Shizune (I've never actually seen one of these, but I really like the idea)**

**And lastly, the only way I read Sasuke stories is if he's A) been captured by Naruto and is now in Prison; B) a major villain or antagonist that has something to do with one of the above mentioned couples; C) part of a story that's just too good to be true.**

**As you might have realized, I don't like Sasuke much. I don't have a whole lot of patience for him. -_- Sorry if you like him, but I will neither be promoting nor bashing Sasuke in this story since it has nothing to do with him. ^_^ So it's all good.**


	4. The Uzumaki Princess

**Hello everyone :)**

**Here is the next chapter of "Into the Fire"**

**Not much to say about this chapter, only- if you have any confusion- that this takes place five years after the previous. Oh, and the perhaps rough state of the grammar/spelling. My editor and I are arguing at the moment XD and she has been severely slacking with editing. No matter how much I dun her to get a chapter done, she doesn't. This story and my on-going Twilight story are severely lacking in proper editing right now. And I don't even want to find a beta who can put up with me XD So please bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns all Naruto characters (right now only Kushina) and the settings and plots that go with the Naruto series. I get Katsutoshi (Kushina's dad), Kazuo, Kenji, Akahana (Kushina's mom... I don't know if this is the same name I used in the last disclaimer because I think I changed her name a few times XD Pardon me), and any other original characters.**

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**Keep reading!**

**-TG**

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Chapter 3- The Uzumaki Princess

I observed the enemy with a wary eye, waiting as if it would strike at any moment. Though I knew in my mind that there really was no fight here, I would not lose my focus. I crept from my hiding spot toward the enemy, and gathered chakra to release at a moment's notice. Finally, when the opportunity showed itself and it seemed that the enemy was distracted, I yelled, "Water style: Giant Vortex Jutsu!"

The water in the river beside me rushed forward in a great funnel of spinning madness, towards the dummy that was perched on top of the wooden stump. The dummy was flung backwards by the powerful vortex, but I didn't stop there. I followed it by creating two more vortexes and using taijutsu on the stump as if the dummy were still there. When I was finished, I was panting and felt about half drained of chakra. I looked at the mutilated dummy where it lay on the ground of the training field, and I'd like to have thought that- if this had been a real battle- I would have won. Kami knows I trained enough. But it seemed like I could train harder and harder on a dummy, but it would never measure even a fraction of the experience I could gain if I were to have a live opponent. I was far past the level where basic exercises could help me, so I was left to learning new jutsu and attempting new chakra affiliations. So far, I had succeeded in only water and wind style though, which is how I had mastered the vortex jutsus: a combination of a tornado style wind and a current of water. Unfortunately, I had failed at my attempts at using fire style, lightning style, or earth style jutsus. I had conceded a few months ago that maybe two chakra affiliations were my limit: maybe I was only strong enough to master wind and water. But I knew that one day I would try other jutsus again. This was not the end of my failed trials, I knew, but it was a temporary delay in the process.

As my panting ceased, I realized that my entire body was drenched in sweat from the hot sun. It was November, but the winters came late in the whirlpool village since we lived on the coast. The sky was a clear, beautiful blue and the sun hung straight above me in the sky, telling me it was nearing noon. That meant, unfortunately, that my training was done for the day. As much as I hated to stop the one thing that kept me going, I knew that this was what it would take to continue my training. I had been doing so, secretly, for the past five years, so it seemed a waste to get caught now.

Shedding the outer layers of my ninja gear, I began to rinse myself off in the river. When I was clean again and I had tied my long hair up in a neat bun, I put the first layer of my kimono on over the tighter layers of my ninja gear. It took off the shirt, shorts, and fishnets beneath my kimono, adding the other layers on top before I tied the large strip of cloth around my ribcage to hold the entire ensemble together. When I was successfully changed, I washed the damp clothing off in the river with a bar of soap. After my clothes were thoroughly cleaned, I hung them up in a tree to dry. I walked down the trunk of the tree, able to focus chakra in my feet since I was not yet wearing my uncomfortable platform shoes. Sometimes, I used those to practice chakra control, seeing as it was practically impossible to focus on walking on water when I was already focused on not tripping in the uncomfortable shoes. When I was as suitable as I could manage, I ran out of the hidden training field that I had found in the forest so long ago.

It seemed like just yesterday that I had found this place, as it had seemed to be the answer to all my problems—besides etiquette and dance classes of course. After I had been removed from all ninja classes, I had been forced to take other classes: all some form of etiquette or dance classes. It was sickening what I had had to endure up until this year: so many formal tea parties and banquets, recitals, poetry recitations… I shuttered just thinking about it now, not wanting to relive another moment of those five painful years. Graduating from Lady Imiko's class was the greatest accomplishment of my short sixteen years—not because of the overwhelming effort it took to be a proper young lady, but because I was finally freed from the imprisonment that was formal etiquette. If failing in my attempts to be the first Uzumaki kunoichi and amazing ninja, losing my brother, and having the greatest monument of my family destroyed hadn't been enough, being forced into etiquette classes was the bitter icing on the dry, tasteless cake that had become my life. As a twelve year old tomboy who was being forced to dance and act like a girl, it had seemed like the world was officially ending. And if even _that_ wasn't enough, all my ninja clothes had been taken away, replaced with frilly kimonos, ridiculous dresses, and uncomfortable shoes. That had been the last straw that had finally led me to run away, when I came home from my first dance class to find my closet raided. It was on my attempt to run away that I had found the abandoned training field in the center of the forest. It was exactly what I needed—a hidden escape that could allow me to do what I loved in secret. This was how, everyday from 6 to 11 am I was able to do my training. Father left the house at five, returning for tea at noon. Mother rarely asked of me besides checking on the status of my classes. Now that I had graduated etiquette school though, I had much more free time, and I avoided talking to my mother in detail whenever the chance presented itself.

As I walked through the forest towards the village and looked up at the blue sky, I thought about the past five years and what they had meant for me. Classes had been practically torture, and I had been forced to act like the heiress I was. When I was younger, I had been able to keep my hair cut short and always dress in shorts because I was training to be a ninja. All of that had been accepted as long as I had reason to act that way. When they had taken that life away from me, I had had to change as well. With the torturous classes, I had been forced to carry myself straight at all times. The heiress to the Uzumaki clan was expected to have immaculate posture. Suddenly, I wasn't being served sweet teas and cakes at tea and instead had to serve the men in my clan at tea time before settling on an herbal tea for myself. _You're not a child anymore, Kushina…_I had been told after begging for something sweet. But I was still a child whether or not they forced me to be otherwise. Amidst all the negativity, however, one good thing at come from this: I had made my first best friend. It's amazing how difficult situations can bring two people together, which is how I suddenly found myself inseparable from Keiko Uzumaki.

It had started four years ago, right after I had found the abandoned training field. I had realized that, while I had found a place to train, this was worthless as long as my training gear was so severely lacking. I had snuck into Keiko's room through her window, waiting until she returned from her most recent mission. When she saw me, she nearly had a heart attack and almost screamed for help. Covering up her mouth, though, I explained quickly why I was there: I needed to raid her closet.

When she had realized I had been asking for help from her, she blinked in confusion. I tried to explain it again, but she interrupted me by throwing various articles of ninja attire at me. Luckily, we had been about the same size. When I thanked her and said goodbye to my long-standing rival, she had stopped me at the window and asked for one favor. She had said that, since she had helped me, I had to answer one question in return: Why hadn't I revealed her future kunoichi status to my father? With one leg hanging out the window, I told her the truth. I told her that, just because my dreams had been crushed to nothing more than dust, didn't mean her dreams had to be taken away too. Because of that, she said she would be eternally grateful to me.

Now, we met up whenever we had the chance to talk about her most recent ninja adventures, which had gotten much more exciting since she had become a chunin. She always asked how my "training" was going to be polite, but we never stayed on that subject for too long. Through Keiko, I had acquired the fishnets, padding, black shorts, and black shirt which I wore for training every day. The jacket however- the black and orange one that I wore even on the hottest of days- had been Kazuo's. I had stolen it from his room before they burned all of his things, and kept it hidden in the training field at all times. It was all I had left of him in my life, considering that no one was willing to mention him, and I couldn't bring myself to visit the great whirlpool memorial or eat a bowl of ramen without breaking into hysterics.

I tried as well as I could not to think about things like the memorial or steaming bowls of ramen. I had been dutifully avoiding things like that for five years, ever since Kazuo had left me. It wasn't hard to avoid mentioning my lost brother, though—not when the very mention of his name was forbidden within my home. It was sickening seeing how easily my family seemed to be able to completely erase a life from their own lives. Though I tried to forget my brother, I knew I couldn't let myself—not when everyone else seemed to forget him so easily. If I forgot Kazuo, then the only memory of him left in my life would be gone. He had been torn from everyone else's lives so seamlessly that sometimes it made me believe that my brother had never really been here, even when I knew in my heart that that wasn't true.

"Kushina-hime! Good morning. You made it just in time." I was shaken from my musings as I was greeted by the gate keeper to our compound. He was an older man, with eyes that looked like they had smiled a lot in their lifetime. He had a few children, many grandchildren, and a wife who had just recently died—but never once had I seen him mention her with anything but happiness. I often chatted with him in the mornings upon my return from the training field, and I had found over the years that he could be one of my most trusted confidants. I knew that when I needed to talk, and Keiko-chan was on a mission; I need not go further than the gate of my clan compound. I had spent many afternoons at the gate house, talking to him about everything: my brothers, Keiko, my father, my mother, my infuriating classes, and I had even trusted him to keep my secret training ground safe. In return, he had told me stories of how he and his wife had met, about his children, and his adorable grandchildren. He was one of those few people I would allow to call me the suffix _hime,_ or Princess. That was only because, when he said it, it sounded less like an honorific and more like a term of endearment that a grandfather would use with his own grandchild.

"Good morning, Hiroshi-san!" I greeted back. He gave me one of his best eye-crinkling, ear-to-ear grins that made me see the child in him still. It was one of the few things to date that could make me smile every time I saw it.

He tipped his hat towards me as I ran through the cracked gates, my platform shoes in hand instead of on my feet. When I opened the door to my house quietly, I peeked in to see if I was being expected. Without making a sound, I made my way in quickly, slipped my platform zori into their place by the door, and started towards the dining room. I was rushing so that I would arrive before my father did, which was always reliably at noon. Arriving last prompted unnecessary questions—questions I couldn't afford to answer incorrectly by my father's standards. I couldn't risk exposing my "extracurricular" activities to him.

When I made it past the kitchen, however, my hurry was quickly put to a halt. I had only briefly glanced into the room, and- upon doing so- had seen a flash of bright hair that could only be one person. _Well,_ I thought. _Only one person who actually lives here still…_

"Kushina." The figure acknowledged me, and upon hearing it I was finally forced to realize I was not alone as I had originally assumed. At the mention of my name, I slid to a stop on the wood panels of the floor and looked over to the kitchen with a flabbergasted expression. As my company lifted a cup of tea to her mouth, I had a sense of déjà vu. I had experienced something quite like this on a dreary night five years ago—a night I didn't like to remember often and the night that sealed with it all my dreams for the future as the dawn broke over the grim scene of my past. Here I was again, slipping across the wooden floors as my mother watched on, drinking a cup of tea with a calm demeanor.

"Mother?" I asked, not quite believing this was her. I mean, there was no actual doubt that this was my mother, for there really was no mistaking her. She looked like my older twin. We had the same slate gray eyes, slim hourglass figures, and very long, fiery red hair. The last similarity, however, had not been my choice: I had been happy with my short, chin-length hair as a child, but it had not been feminine enough for my mother, my father, and especially Lady Imiko. As a young heiress, I didn't _need_ to keep my hair cut short because I wasn't supposed to do anything that would render it uncooperative. I mean, what _better_ things did I have to do that maintain my long, flowing hair? The mentality made me sick, don't get me wrong, but I had to admit: I was kind of attached to my hair now (and not in the literal sense; of course my hair is attached).There was something comforting and slightly secretive about having a natural veil that can surround you at all times. Not to mention, it wasn't that hard to maintain during training. I just had to tie it up now. Though the hair was definitely a clear similarity, my mother and I had also accumulated more differences over the years: mainly taking into consideration the emotional wear my mother had had to endure since Kazuo left. Now, looking at her as she drank tea in the kitchen as always, she looked older than she had ever appeared to me before. The stress had aged her face so that her once flawless skin was now creased with wrinkles—and not the natural looking smile and eye-crinkling lines like Hiroshi the gate keeper. It saddened me to see my mother this way, but I had that same stress to bear not to mention my own problems. If I wasn't only sixteen, I'd probably have wrinkles too.

The reason I was so shocked to see my mother there was because my mother was _never_ in the kitchen drinking tea at noon on any given day. Noon was tea time, _family _time, and all four of us were forced to go each day. My mother was always the first to arrive, usually around 11:30, already sipping her first cup. Then, I would try to get there to avoid confrontation with the men in my family. Then father would get home, meaning that my mother and I should have already been in place in the tea room. Kenji would arrive soon after, always an exception to time or presence because of his _rigorous ninja schedule_… please. I had no sympathy for my brother there. He should have tried standing on his toes for a few hours in dance class and _then_ spending a few hours at the training fields. Only then could he actually complain and have any sympathy from me. So, basically, I had my family's habits down to a science- a group of theories which had yet to be proven wrong until now. This was the first time in five years that everything hadn't been exactly the same as it was every other day at noon.

"Where is otou-san?" I asked in shock, trying to see if there was anything wrong with my appearance that would reveal where I had been. Had I left my fishnets on? Was my kimono tied correctly? Did I have senbon needles in my bun instead of chopsticks? Everything seemed to be fine, so I needn't worry about suspicion. If anything, my paranoia would only prompt questions. I needed to stay calm.

"He was called to an emergency clan meeting." She said, looking at me calmly as if she couldn't see the inner chaos within me that seemed to be brewing. "And Kenji is held up on a mission. It's just you and me today."

I took a deep breath, visibly relieved that I wasn't late or worse. "Oh," I muttered. "Ok then."

"Would you like to join me for some tea, dear?" My mother asked, her voice a little too innocent to go without suspicion. There was something far _too_ calm about it, and I had the feeling that there some hidden motive behind our trivial chat.

"Uh, sure, Mom…" I leaned against the kitchen counter across from her, taking the spare cup from beside the kettle and pouring my tea. I lifted the little cup to my lips, letting the warm liquid pour down my throat without tasting it on my tongue. I had never much liked tea, but it made up such a large part of clan heiress etiquette that drinking it was inevitable. It seemed like half of etiquette class had been how to properly make tea, drink tea, serve tea, or even talk about tea. Therefore, I had become an expert at drinking tea without having to stand the taste of it. I like the warmth, though. It was soothing, even when the taste wasn't so.

"So…" My mother said after I had taken another long gulp. "How was your training?"

Seeing as she had said this during my next sip, I nearly spit out all the tea in my mother's face. What had she just said? I couldn't have heard her correctly. I sputtered out, "P-pardon me? What are you talking about?"

"I asked," She said, still as calmly and unfazed as ever. "How was your training, dear?"

A nervous chuckle escaped my throat, as I tried to play off the question. "Hehe, I don't know what you're talking about mom. My classes ended a few months ago. You know that."

"No, I wasn't talking about your heiress training, dear." My mother stated matter-of-factly. "I was asking about your ninja training; how's that going?"

"W-what ninja training?" I stammered, my eyes going wide as I stopped attempting to focus on my tea and put the cup down on the counter in front of me. "I don't know what you are talking about—"

"_Kushina_, don't do that to your own mother. I know you better than that—better than you think I do apparently." My mother put down her own cup and looked straight into my eyes, which were still wide with shock.

"H-how did you?..." I muttered, and my mother's lips pulled up in a satisfied smirk as she picked up her tea once again. My mind seemed to be throbbing with all the questions I had, so they seemed to come out all at once. "How did you know? How long have you known? How did you find out?"

She laughed and seemed to ponder the answers to herself for a very long time. "The simpler question isn't how long I've known. An easier question to answer would be how long _didn't_ I know. How did I find out about your little secret? Your stubbornness was the key. When your father took you out of the academy and enrolled you in etiquette and dance classes, you were adamant that you would resist. There was no stopping you from reaching your goal. So what am I supposed to think when, after a year of protests, you suddenly are cooperative? It wasn't like you. Your soul is not easily broken, Kushina dear. You wouldn't subside so easily without motive. That's when I figured those hours you would disappear for were for training. Give me some credit, sweetheart. I'm your mother—I know you better than you know yourself."

Though I was stilled in a state of astonishment, I scoffed at that. "I highly doubt you know me better than I know myself, mother."

"Oh yeah?" She challenged, with a signature smirk that I had seen many times before on Kazuo's face and on mine as well. "Let's see how well I know you… hmm. Let's start with clothes. I don't think you'd want to train in a kimono, so I'm guessing you got your ninja gear from your cousin, Keiko?"

My lips parted in surprise for a moment, but I quickly recovered. "Lucky guess. That doesn't prove anything."

"Alright." She continued. "When it rains and your father won't let you go outside, you sneak into the Uzumaki clan library and hide the ninja scrolls inside the history books so you can sneak them into your room. Right now in your room you have the Uzumaki wind jutsu scroll, which probably means you are able to use wind chakra—I might not be a kunoichi myself, but I know that's an impressive and rare chakra affiliation to master; which you would have to be, considering you took the advanced jutsu scrolls in exchange for the more novice jutsus you had been previously trying. You're getting stronger all the time. Of course, you have water chakra—it runs in my family. And, even though your father and brothers had proficiencies for fire type chakra, I don't think you've been able to utilize that yet. You've only ever stolen informational books on fire chakra, never jutsu scrolls. I can't say I'm not a little proud that you take after my side of the family, and not your father's."

That surprised me, and she chuckled sheepishly at my incredulous expression. I was going to concede that she knew me pretty well it seemed, but she wasn't finished yet. "That's just some of the ninja things I know about you. You can't stand platform zori, so you walk around the village with them in your hands. You hate etiquette classes, and pretend that you hate dance classes. You secretly wish you were a better dancer, even though you and I both know you far surpassed anyone in your class and probably in the village when it came to dancing. When you drink tea, you try not to taste it. You never much liked it, but drank it anyway because everyone told you that you had to. As a child, your dream was to be the first Uzumaki Kunoichi and first Kage of the whirlpool village—both admirable dreams that you resent your father for taking away from you, and both dreams that still reside in your heart. You hate that no one ever mentions your older brother anymore, which I can relate to. Just like me, you don't think Kazuo really destroyed the Great Whirlpool. And, at night, you have dreams about your brother—you talk about him in your sleep."

When my mother was finished, I had to admit it to myself: she _did_ know more about me than I did about myself. But, more importantly, I had to admit that my mother and I had more alike than our appearances. She and I both harbored a deep pain for the loss of Kazuo—a pain I didn't know she felt until now. I looked at her with a hopeful smile. "You're not going to tell Dad, are you mom? You're right… about everything. And this is what I love to do! This is the most important thing in my life now. I can't lose it again."

She laughed, somewhat in relief of my reaction. "Sweetie, if I was going to tell your father about this I would have done so by now. And if I would have done so already, trust me—even if your father was far away, you would _know_. Besides—do you think I enjoy seeing your soul break when your father forces you to do something else you don't love? And I know you love being a ninja; it's in your blood. Your dreams and this opportunity to continue your love is all that has kept you going over the last five years. How could I take away the one thing that has kept you _alive?_ I will say this again, Kushina: I'm your mother. Seeing you hurt only hurts me as well. A parent never enjoys putting their child through pain."

"Speak for yourself." I said, bitterly. "Father seems to enjoy making my life unbearable."

"You shouldn't resent your father—you will regret it later on, _trust me." _I looked up at my mother, now curious about what she was referring to. Seeing my expression, she sighed. "I resented my parents for a long time, Kushina. I was so much like you as a child: I wanted to be a dancer, though, not a ninja. I wanted to move to a bigger city where I could be part of a big theatre, but I was told that I was to be married. I was only fifteen, dear. Younger than you, and I was moving to a strange house full of strange people with strange clan customs. It was honor to my family to be connected to the Uzumaki clan, however, so I had to do it. Your father was only in his early twenties at the time, and he was very quiet. Sometimes his isolated nature made him seem cold to me. I was furious: not only was I being forced to live with this man, but he didn't even seem to want me. Years passed and my hatred for my husband and my parents grew stronger and stronger. Then, in a single week, everything changed for me. My father died, leaving the strings between us frayed and not mended. My mother refused to talk to me anymore, since she was so hurt from my cold shoulder. Then I found out that I was pregnant with Kazuo, and suddenly my whole perspective changed. I regretted never fixing things with my parents, knowing that I would soon become one myself. I was finally able to drop the wall of hatred around me, and my broken heart was suddenly opened. My heart made room for your father and for our new baby, and eventually for Kenji and you."

"I didn't know about that…" I muttered, a little embarrassed of my self. I had always thought my mother had been so passive; always quiet and conceding to whatever the clan leaders wanted her to do for our family. I knew she had been a free spirit before, my father having briefly mentioned it in the past. I had always just assumed that she knew that marrying well was an honor and that she lived to serve her family. I had been wrong though, about everything—my mother was never passive or weak. She might not be a ninja, but she had been a dreamer just like Kazuo and just like me. She had wanted greater things in her life and had fought tooth and nail against settling for a simpler life. Kazuo's and my theories had been wrong: my mother hadn't been forced to accept a husband and children. She had decided that a family was the right path for her; she had made a new dream for herself. The person who I had once thought to be feeble was now an inspiration.

"Well," She said, and her beautiful smile lighted her face once again. "I know it's hard; having to keep your training a secret. But- for as long as I can manage it- I will help you. I know it may not be good enough, considering you probably won't ever get to be an official kunoichi. Since I'm not a ninja myself it may not be my place to say it but- seeing as my whole family consists of ninjas- I have a pretty good idea of what it's like…"

She stopped to brush my long bangs behind my ear, taking the barrette from her own hair and clipping mine into place. She placed a soft hand on the side of my face, and I leaned into it despite myself. She smiled at the reaction. "And, though you may never have a high-ranked ninja status, I know for a fact that's not what being a shinobi is about. Being a shinobi means that you must be a talented, intelligent, and relentless warrior—all of which you are, my Dear. A rank does not define talent but an _idea_ of talent. But who gives the village leaders the right to classify my daughter? You are an Uzumaki, Kushina, and a phenomenal ninja. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Thank you, Mom." I said softly as I leaned over to embrace my mother. "I won't."

"Do you still have your brother's jacket? The black and orange one he loved so much?" I leaned back away from my mother's arms to look at her face. I blinked in surprise: She knew about the jacket too? _Well,_ I thought. _She is my mom… She seems to know everything about me. _

"Yeah, I still wear it everyday" I asked in confusion. "Why?"

"Good." She said quietly, with another soft smile. "Don't lose that. It's good that you keep a part of him with you. I know it may often seem like everyone is just trying to forget Kazuo, but you shouldn't. We are family, despite rough circumstances, and we can not forget that part: I know for a fact that you and I aren't the only ones who keep part of him with us."

"What do you mean?" I asked, not really believing what she was implying. Just then however, she pulled something out of the sash at her waist. When she brought it up for me to look at, I smiled ruefully at it. It was a little white swirl with a name written down the middle. I immediately recognized it. "Kazuo's Uzumaki clan patch."

She nodded at me, stowing the little keepsake back where it had been before. "That's not all. Your father and your brother both kept something too. Kenji took the personalized kunai you got Kazuo one year for his birthday. He never uses it to train, but he always keeps it on his person. Your father still has Kazuo's head band that Kenji gave him that night."

This surprised me immensely, but at that moment I was pondering something to myself. All this mention of Kazuo's things brought me back to that last night I had seen him, and considered whether or not I should tell my mother. If there was anything my mother did not know about me, it would be the real happenings on that night—not Kenji's horribly abridged version. My mother had a right to know that her sons had confronted each other, but I was sure it would disconcert her. The moment we were having, the first mother daughter bonding moment we had ever really experienced, could not be wasted on the past. I would tell my mother eventually, with the notion that this wouldn't be our last heart-to-heart. Right now, though, we both seemed to finally be moving forward again.

I opened my mouth to say something about her previous comment, but, just as I did, another figure joined the room, interrupting me. "Lady Uzumaki!"

"Yes?" My mother answered the man who had rushed into the room. I could see that the happy, motherly expression was quickly replaced with the calm, First-Lady of the clan façade. She had become an expert in switching her personalities on and off.

"It's Lord Uzumaki! Your husband has just been admitted to the hospital for a heart attack!" He yelled, the silence drawing out afterwards. Despite my feelings toward my father, my heart dropped into my stomach. I'd imagine my mother was feeling exactly the same way, if the tension that permeated the air around us was any indication.

"_Katsutoshi_…" My mother breathed my father's name, the seriousness in her voice washed away by the dire situation. Without hesitation, she grabbed my hand so that I'd follow her as she chased the other man out the door to our house.

The hospital wasn't far from the Uzumaki compound, but every second felt like it could be end for my father. Every minute we weren't there was a minute we didn't get to spend with him in his final hour. When we finally got there, the hospital didn't seem to be in a frantic like we were. When we finally neared my father's private room, however, the rush of nurses and disheartening sounds got more and more chaotic; the yell of doctors, the distant beep of monitors, and the wheezing breaths of the ill. When we turned into a room finally, the sight of my father was enough to choke the breath from my throat. I couldn't breathe upon seeing him. My mother rushed to her husband's side, but I remained frozen beside the door. My father's skin was sallow and pasty; his breathing coming in shallow, rapid bursts. His bare chest rose and fell quickly with each irregular breath.

When he saw my mother enter the room, his hand reached out towards her as if of its own will. His eyes seemed to light up, despite the situation, and my mother instantly fell into the chair beside him. She grasped his hand with both of hers, wincing as she did so as if it was she who was in pain. He lifted his hand from hers, touching her cheek softly.

"Akahana-chan…" I heard him speak almost inaudibly from across the room. It was odd hearing my mother's given name, and especially odd to hear someone refer to her with such an informal honorific. With my mother it was always lady or –sama or –san. In all my life, I had never heard my father refer to my mother in such a loving tone of voice.

"Katsu-kun." She whispered back, smiling despite the tears that streamed from her eyes. As I watched my parents from across the room, I couldn't help but feel like I was imposing on a very private moment. They were lost in their own little world—probably back in the first few years of their marriage, when things were always carefree and simple. At least, that's how I imagined it would be based on their wistful expressions. As my mother had explained to me, the beginning of their marriage hadn't been comfortable and romantic. But, I imagined they were thinking of that brief period of time where things were that way for them. My mother lifted her hands to her face, holding my father's hand in place. She closed her eyes, feeling his skin against hers. I felt like I should leave—this wasn't my place to watch this. No matter how hard I tried to move my legs out the door though, I could not bring myself to. Watching my parents act toward each other this way, in a way I had never seen before, was a refreshing change in personality. If these were my father's final moments on this Earth, I was glad I got to see him this way. He actually looked like a kind, loving husband, and- if I had to have a final lasting memory of my father- than this was a good one to have. I didn't want to think about how much I had resented him before, like my mother had told me. _This _was how I wanted to remember my father.

When my father lost the strength to keep his hand where it was, I knew it was over. His hand fell from my mother's face, dropping from her cheek as it went limp. My mother cried out in anguish, sprawling her own body over his in agony. Her tears stained her cheeks, rushing down until they dampened the blanket that covered my father's body. His whole body was lifeless—there wasn't an ounce of the strength and power that I had always associated with my father. The doctors and medical ninja rushed into the room, grumbling in annoyance that I was in their way. They shoved me aside, desperately making their way to my father, but I could not to feel their persistent attempts to move me.

They pushed my mother of her husband's body, replacing her hands with their own. Everything that was happening in front of me seemed to be in slow motion; one horrifying, tragic image flashing after another. The medical ninja forced chakra into my father's body, attempting to revive the man. I knew, without needing to be a medical ninja, that it was too late. I had read enough medical journals to know that my father's heart was literally broken beyond repair. The muscles in his heart were far too damaged to repair themselves or to be fixed by someone else's hands. No matter how hard they tried to save his life, it was no use. And just like that, my father was dead.

When the doctor announced a time of death, my mother broke into hysterics and collapsed on top of him again. The nurses, ninja, and doctors backed away, allowing the grieving women her space. Some people, however, were not so kind. Only moments after the medical professionals left, members of our clan took their place in the room. I recognized these people, but none of them were close family members. Though my mother was clearly not suitable to talk, they made her do so anyway.

"Lady Uzumaki! Where is your son?" My mother squeezed her husbands body closer to her, ignoring their questions. "Lady Uzumaki! We must know where Kenji Uzumaki is--"

"He's out on a mission." She croaked finally, clearly not wanting to be bothered any longer. "I don't know when he'll be back."

As the clan representatives looked to one another, I suddenly realized what their urgency was for. My father was dead—No, not my father; the leader of the Uzumaki clan was dead. The founding clan of the village, the most powerful group of people in Uzugakure, was without a leader. This was not acceptable for the Uzumaki clan.

"Go at once." One, the leader, said to a man of lower rank, who bowed in response. "Send a message by hawk to Kenji Uzumaki. Tell him he must return to the village at once because his father has passed away. His inauguration will be in three weeks time. Then, the Uzumaki clan will have a new leader."

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**-TG  
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	5. The Uzumaki Family Curse

**Hello Everyone! **

**I present to you chapter four of "Into the Fire." ^_^ This one took a little while to write, considering I had a lot of things to work out in the story... I actually have a lot more commentary on this chapter, but- for the sake of not spoiling it before you even read it- i will include all commentary at the end of this chapter. So, if you'd like to hear a little about this, please read towards the end.**

**If not, just enjoy! **

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**-TG**

**Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns the Naruto series plot line and any characters that pertain to the original story. My characters, however, are my property. ^_^ But if you ask nicely, I may lend them to you. hahaha**

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Chapter 4- The Uzumaki Family Curse

My kimono felt insufferably heavy on me. The material was thick and unbearably hot for the time of year. There was a light breeze and slow, misty drizzle that settled over everyone creating a wet coat on everything below the sky. Normally, I would enjoy this weather—It was so customary for my home here in the Whirlpool village. Today, though, the rain and the chill seemed dismal and cold, like the day itself. And, even though it was rather cold, I felt uncomfortably warm in the thick black kimono with the gray sash around the middle. I hated wearing black at all unless it was paired with something bright, like orange—which is why I reserved this particular kimono for funerals. Because that was what plain black reminded me of: funerals.

"Kushina-chan?..." A girl, with long black hair that fell to her waist, stepped in front of me. She didn't wear a heavy kimono like me, but the customary wear for ninjas on their days off. The wrapped, sleeveless black shirt and loose-fitting black pants looked a million times more comfortable than what I was wearing. The sash around my torso felt like it was getting tighter and tighter, constricting my rib cage like a boa constrictor, slowly crushing the life from my body. My chest cavity felt like it was getting smaller and smaller with the pressure, making it harder for my lungs to expand with each breath. Despite my resistance to showing emotion, I couldn't help the few tears that sprung from my eyes with the next blink. "Kushina-chan, I'm so sorry. I—I know things weren't easy for you and your d—"

"_Don't._" I whispered, feeling the slow tear drops create tracks down my cheeks. I finally opened my eyes again, looking at my best friend straight in the face as I tried to compose myself. "Thank you for your support, Keiko-chan, but I don't really want to talk about it."

Without a warning, Keiko flung her arms around me and buried her head in my shoulder. _Oh, Keiko-chan…_I thought. _Always so emotional. It's a mystery to me how you've gotten so far as a kunoichi with your heart always on your sleeve. _I tentatively put my arms around my best friend, hugging her back. "I really _am_ sorry, Kushina-chan… for everything. I've always gotten everything I ever wanted… while you've gotten nothing. It seems like you didn't get anything you ever anticipated and everything you always hated. It's hardly fair."

I chuckled in a humorless tone. "No, it isn't very fair, is it? But I guess I'm used to it. I suppose everyone can't get everything they want, and some never get anything they want. I may just be one of the unfortunate latter. But, hey, life's not fair."

"That's not right. I know life will look up for you soon. I just know it." Keiko muttered pulling back to look me straight in the eyes. "You're so strong, Kushina-chan… with your brother and your dreams and now your father taken away from you. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Maybe, though, this is how your destiny is supposed to play out—maybe it's all for the better, in the end."

I looked away, unable to comprehend the all-too-familiar words. "Yeah, I've been told that a lot in my life; by everyone, it seems. It's always for the better in the end, but maybe I don't want to wait for the end for things to get better."

"Then you won't have to." She said definitively. "And you don't deserve to be kept waiting. I have a feeling, deep inside me, Kushina-chan… you're going to find someone that will bring you so much happiness."

I looked at her disbelievingly. "Someone?"

"Yes, someone. You're going to find someone someday who will make you so happy that it will make up for everything bad that's ever happened to you. While everyone else gets their happy ending, you'll get your happily ever after. Until then, however, you'll just have to endure. Kami knows you're already better at it than anyone I know."

"Not me." I muttered, looking down from her gaze. "As a kid I was never into the happily ever after, fairytale romance thing. It's just not me. My fairytale dreams have stopped, but the world has kept on turning without me. Even if I can't find the will in myself, I have to endure anyway. The light at the end of the tunnel has gone out, but I have to travel down it anyway even though I know there's nothing waiting for me at the end."

"Don't be ridiculous." She scolded softly. "Becoming a ninja is not a dream, Kushina-chan: it's a reality. You are a ninja whether you have a headband or not. It's not status that makes us shinobi, but ability. And being a ninja leader is not a dream either; it's a career. You've just been so hung up on losing that that you haven't looked inside yourself yet to find your new dreams. Dreams change all the time, Kushina-chan, and they adapt like everything else. They're there, I promise you... you just can't recognize them yet."

I looked up into my best friend's face and faked a half smile. "Thanks, Keiko-chan. You're right." I lied smoothly, knowing that if I feigned acceptance then it would put my friend's mind at ease.

"Of course, I am." She said matter-of-factly. "I'm always right."

I chuckled at her, and she waved over her shoulder as she walked away. She left at a good time, I realized, seeing as there had been a line accumulating behind her. I recognized my uncles and their wives instantly, and their sympathetic expressions even faster. I greeted the first two in the long line of my family members. "Hello Uncle Kamenosuke; Aunt Rei."

"Kushina, dear, we're so sorry for your loss." My uncle said to me in that annoying voice that told me he was trying to sound like he cared about someone else. Uncle Kamenosuke had never been great at that. "My brother was a great man with many accomplishments, but there wasn't anything he took more pride in than you and your brother." Uncle Kamenosuke beamed at me, but I felt like slapping him in the face at his comment. He, as the second youngest of the seven boys, obviously didn't know his oldest brother well. If he had he would've known how disappointed my father had always been in me. And if he knew me at all, he would know that every time I hear someone _accidentally_ forget that I actually had two brothers I felt like combusting on the spot.

"Thank you, Uncle Kamenosuke." My Aunt Rei and uncle left bowing slightly as they departed. It was like listening to a broken record as each of my uncles and their wives came and hugged me or said kind words about my father, their brother. First Uncle Keitaro, the oldest after my father, and his wife Midori; then Uncle Kosuke, the next oldest, who's wife had died in child birth; then the twins in the family, Uncle Katsuo and Uncle Katsuro, and their wives Aunt Suki and Aunt Emiko, both of whom had their youngest sons held tightly to their chests; and finally Uncle Koharu, who came by his self as well, his wife probably stayed at home taking care of the their brand new baby boy.

"Kushina," He smiled warmly and gave me a hug. My little body was engulfed in his huge arms; Uncle Koharu being the largest of the seven brothers in their generation at a massive six foot seven inches. "It's been too long. I wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

I let another humorless laugh escape my lips. "Trust me, I do too."

"It seems like everyone is heading out now that the service is over. I just wanted to see my favorite niece before I left." He ruffled my hair playfully.

"I'm your _only_ niece, Uncle Koharu." I said lightly, unable to laugh with my uncle like we usually did. I hadn't thought about my severe lack of female cousins in a long time—but it was true. Even though four new children were introduced into our generation, I still had only male first cousins… which brought the number to forty-one.

"Oh, that is right, isn't it? I've got all these nephews, but I could have sworn there was another girl in there somewhere…huh." My uncle said, pretending to be serious.

"Nope, it's just me. You know my mother is an only child and all of you guys decided to have boys. Don't you think, out of 41 first cousins, I'd like maybe one female cousin?" I asked, not looking into his face as I spoke.

"Yeah, I guess I would be a little overwhelmed too with that many cousins." He laughed, placing one hand behind his head sheepishly as I often did. "You have Keiko, don't you? She's your friend, is she not?"

"No, she is. She's my best friend. She's hardly even blood-related though, our family being so spread out in the village." I replied without much emotion in my voice.

"Well, related or not, you hold onto that friend of yours, you hear me? Everyone needs a good friend, and I think everyone wants a best friend. It's lucky that you have someone you can relate to so easily. That's something that you don't come by easily, so you have to work for it. Protect your friends with everything in your power, you got that, Kushina?" I nodded in response, finally looking at my youngest uncle's face. He wasn't like his brothers. All of them, besides maybe the twins, seemed so cold and unchanging. I loved them all, of course—they were my family. But the only one it seemed I could ever relate to was Uncle Koharu. Even my father and I couldn't talk when he was alive like I could talk to Uncle Koharu. I had always thought that that relationship with my father would come eventually; one day, when I was older, we would settle our differences and start the father-daughter bond that I had always wanted. His end, however, came before our beginning.

"That brother of yours…" Uncle Koharu turned his attention to Kenji as he greeted our Uncles as if he were already the leader of our clan; with the poise and confidence of an all-powerful ruler. "He sure is something, huh?"

"Yeah," I conceded disdainfully. "He's _something_ alright."

My uncle chuckled and patted me on the back. "You know, you're just like your father was when he was younger."

My eyes opened wide in shock, but I shook my head in disbelief. "No, that can't be right. I'm just like my mother. I even look like her."

"That may be true," He agreed. "But you have some of your father in you too—just not the Katsutoshi that you might know. When I was born, your father was twelve years old and already a chunin in the village. He was a prodigy really, and he set a high standard that all my brothers were eager to meet. It was hard to stand in the shadows of six amazing ninja, not to mention our father, who was leader of the clan at the time. Growing up, I idolized Katsutoshi like a God, not a brother. Keitaro was the serious one; Kosuke was the quiet but gentle one; Katsuo and Katsuro were the pranksters, of course; Kamenosuke was the arrogant one; but your father was the kindest and most-skilled of us all. He always had the makings of a great leader in him; with the strength to rule a nation and the compassion to care for a family. He was truly the greatest of us all, and it was luck that he was in line for the leadership position. But, out of all the accomplishments and great things your father said in his lifetime, what I remember most from my younger days is your father, a jonin at the time, telling me how he was going to be great someday and how he was going to make the Uzumaki Clan better than it had ever been before. He had such a driven personality back then, not unlike you and your brother."

I scoffed, "Kenji's never been much of a dreamer. He and father were very serious too—always looking at _reality,_ not possibility."

"I didn't mean Kenji, Kushina… I was referring to Kazuo." I stared open-mouthed at my uncle at the mention of my brother's name. He was only the second person other than my self who didn't mind speaking of my brother's name. "It broke your father's heart when your brother left… I think he saw that missing part of his self that had been destroyed so long ago in his son. When he left, that last little hopeful part of his character left with him. I don't think he ever really thought Kenji would make a better leader, even if he was so much like your father was at the time."

"What happened to him?" I muttered. "What happened that made him stop believing in something more?"

"Your grandfather was a very serious man; much like your father became later on in his life. He had always told him to get his head out of the clouds and that he had to be serious if he was going to be his successor. And then, before he was ready, Katsutoshi was forced to take the position. Your grandfather died in his sleep, leaving the Uzumaki family to a new leader. It wasn't choice that made him change—it was necessity." My uncle looked down to me with a sympathetic eye, knowing quite well what I was going through now. It seemed that the Uzumaki family had a long line of people who lost their dreams to duty. Just like Keiko had said before: _It's hardly fair._

The loss of your dreams was hardly ever merited, but it seemed a curse that was passed down through my family from both sides. My father had his dreams taken by his father. My mother had her dreams taken away by her parents. My brother took his own dreams and left all of us, hurting his family in the process. And my father had taken mine. Just thinking about it made me angry; _why did this have to happen to all of us? Why was it my family that had to suffer? Why did I have to have my dreams taken away?_ I thought. But it was then, at that moment, I had a revelation: I wouldn't let the curse effect me too.

That, if anything, would be my new dream: to reclaim what was taken from me five years ago. Why did the Uzumaki family's history have to be one of pain and suffering? Why did we have to steal away from everything we ever loved in order to be happy? Kazuo hadn't let the curse affect him, but there had been consequences: the loss of everything and everyone he ever knew or loved. I refused to choose between my family and my dreams. I looked up to my uncle finally, who looked back at me curiously. "Thank you, Uncle Koharu. You've put a lot into perspective for me…"

"Glad I could help." He said with one last smile.

"Now," I began, backing away from my uncle. "If you'll excuse me; there's someone I need to talk to."

"Of course." He said. "Everyone already left any way. Later, Kushina."

I looked around the area outside the Uzumaki family cemetery and realized he was right; everyone had already left, following each other back towards their individual houses within the compound. I waved back at my uncle as I ran back towards the cemetery, picking up the skirts of my kimono and not caring if anyone saw me run at a normal ninja pace. I didn't care what people thought anymore; not even if they knew I was still a capable ninja.

"Father," I said, kneeling down next to the freshly turned mound of dirt and the new head stone that protruded from the ground. I felt a little ridiculous, speaking to the earth, but I knew I had to do this for myself and for my father. "I need to speak with you. I know it's a little late for this now, but I need you to hear me. I need you to listen to me when I say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I hated you all these years. I'm sorry that I expected the worst out of you and mother all this time. And, most of all, I'm sorry that you didn't get to live your dreams the way you wanted them to be. I've been talking to Uncle Koharu, and I know that you wanted to change things in the Uzumaki family. You probably wanted to make it so that the system wasn't so corrupt in the council or maybe that the girls in our family before my generation could become ninja or maybe you just wanted to improve the branch family conditions. I don't know what you wanted to do or how you wanted to initiate your plans, but I know you dreamed of changing things. I know you dreamed of making things better for the people you loved, and I honor you for that.

But, father, you could have done all of that. You had every opportunity to make the clan a better place, but you let your father's memory dictate how you would run your own family. All of that pain that your father made you got through: the pain of loss, the pain of shattered dreams… did that honestly make you happy? And, if that pain didn't make you happy, why would want to pass it onto your own family? It's not right. But I'm not here to tell you what you did wrong in life, because it's too late for that now. I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry for everything and that I forgive you for taking my dreams away from me too. Because I'm not you, Dad. I won't let your memory dictate my life like you did. I haven't and won't let anything stop me from achieving my dreams, and I'm not Kazuo; I won't leave everything behind to save my dreams. I am Kushina Uzumaki, and I don't let others dictate what I can or can not do with my life."

I stood up from the ground, not letting the tears running from my eyes deter me from my speech. "I believe that the world isn't defined in black and white. I believe it's not either pain or suffering for us. There is a middle ground where happiness is, and I believe I can reach that. I believe that the Uzumaki curse can be overcome, and I believe that suffering will not rule my life. And, where you are now, there is only one thing for you to do about all of this: Believe it."

As I walked away from my father's grave, the wind brushed my face softly, no longer carrying the heavy mist in its grasp. I'd like to think that my father had something to do with that, but it could have just been wishful thinking. It was no matter though; I had a place to be, and someone I still needed to talk to. I had what I needed here. I had the closure with my father I had never achieved in his life, but now I had a dream to reclaim.

When I made it back to my family's land in the center of the vast Uzumaki compound, the house was completely silent. No doubt, my mother was holed up in her and my late father's room and my brother was already acting like he owned the place some where. His inauguration was in a few weeks, but he was already the unofficial leader—and he acted accordingly. It was Kenji that I needed to speak to, and- as much as I longed to head straight back to my room to change out of these horrible clothes- I had to see him right then.

After removing my shoes in the entry way, I padded down the hallway hesitantly, my footsteps slow and unsure. Despite my determination, I couldn't help but be nervous. I knew that I shouldn't be, though. If anything, this was what I had been waiting for all these years—a change in leadership. A change of pace was just what I needed to gain my goal. I knew that that could never happen while my father was still leading the clan. And Kenji… well Kenji had always been like father, but still there was a chance that he wasn't like him in this aspect. I mean, Kenji had helped me, in his own way, to become a ninja in the first place. So why wouldn't he help me become a ninja once again? At least, that was the theory.

As I approached what had been my father's office, I tried to make my footsteps gradually softer. With the decreasing noise, my confidence fell as well. This was something I had to do, and- as I saw the silhouette on the other side of the door pause- I knew it was too late to turn back now. Quick and painless, I thought, hoping that I was right. When I slid the door open to reveal my brother sitting at my father's old desk, Kenji didn't look up at me as if he had been expecting me—he didn't actually look at me at all. I stood there in the doorway, waiting for him to say something; to acknowledge my presence in the room.

"Onii-san?" I asked finally, when waiting for another moment was too much to bear. He looked up finally as if he hadn't realized previously that I was there.

"What do you need, Kushina?" He turned his gaze back to the papers on top of father's desk, as if he were trying to look busy. I couldn't help but think that he was hiding his feelings. I would have liked to think, actually, that before I had got here he had been crying over the loss of our father, but who knows? Kenji was an expert at keeping his emotions guarded, which was probably why he was such an exemplary ninja. People like me, Kazuo, Keiko... we were the ones who got hurt in this business. Keeping your heart exposed made it always vulnerable to harm, so maybe Kenji actually was the wisest of us all.

"I-" I stammered, falling into the chair across from his desk. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Alright." He said, closing the file he had been reading as he finally gave me his attention. "Actually, I needed to discuss something with you as well, so this is perfect timing. You have the floor."

I fiddled with the sleeve of my kimono nervously, realizing I was never this timid around anyone but my brother and previously my father. My brother was just like my father had been—generally intimidating and naturally oppressive in nature. "I wanted to speak with you about…" I took a deep breath, and tried to gather my confidence. I had to believe in this idea to make Kenji even consider this.

"About?" He asked, though he didn't sound curious as much as he did annoyed.

I took one last deep breath and let the words come out. "About reinstating my rights to become an official shinobi of the whirlpool village."

For a long second, he paused. Then, I heard the faintest sound: a deep, quiet chuckle that caught me off guard. It wasn't often that I heard my brother laugh, no matter how dark the laugh sounded. "Kushina, don't be ridiculous. You've had your rights to ninja status revoked for five years. How do you expect me to let you go on dangerous missions and represent our clan in the village when you haven't even trained for five years?"

I narrowed my eyes, seizing my chance without thinking about the consequences. "But you're wrong! I've been training every day for the past four years! I can do the family jutsus; I've mastered two chakra types; I've perfected my genjutsu and my taijutsu. I'm far past genin status, mostly likely even chuunin! I am a ninja whether or not I have the status, but at least this way I might be able to make a difference in the village. I know I'm ready! Please, onii-san…"

His eyes narrowed, and I fell back into my seat in shock. I hadn't realized that I had stood up. "Let me get this straight: First you get your future ninja status taken away from you, so you take that as a sign to be a ninja on your own time. Then our father dies, and you expect me to go against his wishes?"

I could rapidly see this plan turning against me, and I closed my eyes in frustration. I had revealed my secret, thinking it would help me achieve my dreams, but instead it had turned against me. "Don't you see, Kenji-nii-san? I- I need this… It's all I have left. I don't think father would have wanted me to be so unhappy. He wouldn't want me to be like this, I just know it. I know he loved me, even though he made my life hell. I know he would have wanted me to be happy. He was only afraid of losing me. He was afraid that if I followed my dreams of becoming a ninja, then I would leave him too… just like Kaz—"

"_Don't_ speak that name in my presence." He seethed, his teeth gritted together as he tried to control himself. "I won't hear of it."

"Is this about him, too?" I asked, unable to control the thoughts once they were already out. "Do you want to control me because you couldn't control our brother? Do you want to keep me weak because you were too weak to face him?

I could see the anger in his eyes flare up as if the fire was finally ignited within him. "_I was not_ _too we_—"

"_You_ let him go, not me! All those years have passed, and you have yet to say a word of explanation to me! I thought that when you consoled me in the clearing that day when he left you would just wait until you figured it was the right time to tell me. I thought eventually you would tell me why you did that. I thought that if I waited patiently you would tell me why you lied to everyone; to our father, our family, and our _mother_ and why you disgraced our brother like that. I didn't understand when I was younger, but I thought that was the reason! I thought that it was one of those times where you would tell me when I'm older… but I'm older now, Kenji! I'm all grown up now, and I still don't see why you thought it necessary to bring shame to the only family member I was ever close to! I know you wanted the very position you have now, but is that how you wanted to get it? By lying to everyone you've ever known? Did you _ever_ plan on telling the truth? Because Otou-san is dead, Kenji! It's over. Our father died believing his oldest son betrayed him and the village without reason! Because of that belief, because of _you_, Otou-san was too afraid to let me go." I stood, bracing myself against the desk in front of me as I leaned in towards my brother. "But you are not my father, Kenji. You _must_ let me go. Everything that has gone so wrong in my life… my brother leaving and my ninja status being revoked… all of it was because of _you_. If you hadn't been so selfish, Nii-san wouldn't have wanted to leave so you could have the position and Otou-san wouldn't have been so protective of me. You got what you wanted, Kenji, and I could not care less about that. But if there is anything good about you finally getting your beloved position it's that you can finally compensate for everything you've done wrong to me. _You_ are the only one who can make this right again. "

Kenji had looked down, and I couldn't see his eyes beneath the dark shadow of his long black hair. When I heard him laughing, my fists clenched in anger. He chuckled to himself until it seemed ridiculous, and continued to do so even after. I just watched my brother, thinking he might have gone mad before my eyes. When he stood, he towered over me even from behind our father's desk. As soon as his gaze met mine, I heard a rush of air and suddenly my cheek was smarting in pain. His hand had moved so quickly that I hadn't been able to dodge, and the force with which he hit me was so much that it would have sent anyone else sprawling to the floor. I was a ninja though; I wasn't taken down that easily. My blood boiled within me, giving me the intense urge to form a hand sign and fight back. I knew, however, that this was not a physical fight I could win. All I could do was try to get under his skin. So, without looking back to his face, I muttered, "That's the problem, Kenji-nii-san… I know it, mother knows, our uncles know it, and deep down you know it too: Kazuo was meant to be the leader, because he would have been great at it. And, Kami knows, he would make a better leader than _you._"

He had already been angry that I hadn't had a more dramatic reaction to his gesture; probably expecting some tears or an embellished fall or a cry for mercy. I had done no such thing though. I was a shinobi. I had the dignity to stand tall and take the pain. I had the pride to not let tears spring to my eyes at the onslaught of pain in my face. I had the anger and the need for vengeance within me that would not let my brother's inexcusable actions offend me. And, of course, what I had said hadn't helped his temper either. Kenji's face contorted with anger, and his hand flew back again to hit the other side. I let him hit me once more, feeling the pain again in the other side of my cheek. I glared up at him, as if daring him to take one more swing. Kenji had never been one to back down from a challenge.

With one last surge of anger, he lifted his fist and cocked it back preparing for it to spring forward. I knew that if I let this one make contact, I would most likely come out of this room with multiple broken bones in my face. That's why I had no intention of letting this one hit me. When the fist was nearly inches from my face, I reached my hand up and caught his gloved fist within my own. When I had immobilized the punch, he looked up at me in shock. He hadn't been expecting that, and he roared in frustration at my lack of reaction. Without waiting for the next blow to be thrown, I threw his fist down and walked back a few steps, looking straight into Kenji's hysterical eyes the whole time. "You, sir, are not my brother."

"You're right." He said, his eyes following me as I inched towards the screen door. "I'm _not_ your brother. I'm your leader, and- as your leader- _I_ decide your fate. I don't see the life of a ninja in your future, and I will make sure you don't have much of a life at all from this point on."

I let my mouth pull up into an awkward smirk before I muttered. "Bring it, Ji-Ji."

I could feel his eyes boring into my back as I made for the screen door. "Kushina, I'm not done speaking with you." Almost curious as to what he would say, I paused without looking back at him. "I told you that I had something I wanted to discuss with you. A nobleman from the land of tea has seen you on his visits to the village and has found an interest in you; why, I can't fathom, but that's not important. He has offered a great deal of support for the Whirlpool village in return for your hand. I wasn't going to accept on the basis of distance… but I'm beginning to think a little distance from this place is _just_ what you need. Mother will understand eventually."

Despite my anger, my eyes widened in shock. Kenji smiled in triumph, knowing his trump card was enough to make me falter. Not only that, but I knew this was something that was completely out of my control. Arranged marriages were decided by the clan leader—who was now, unofficially, my brother. I knew that Kenji had won this battle; while his blows had done nothing to me, nothing caused more pain that what he had just suggested. _An arranged marriage…_ I thought, knowing my brother knew just how to get under my skin.

If that hadn't been enough, he continued to telling me about my assumed husband to be. "Unfortunately, the nobleman is a rather impatient and superstitious man; therefore he would like you to travel there immediately so you might make it in time for the autumn equinox festival, which he feels is the perfect time for a wedding. Not only that but it is customary in their culture that the bride's family does not attend, so mother and I will be unable to attend the ceremony unfortunately."

"Y-You can't do this to me…" I whispered, finally allowing the tears to spring from my eyes as I braced myself against the door frame.

"Oh, but I can." He murmured, and I could hear the smile in his tone. "The Autumn equinox is in just a few days, so you'll be leaving immediately. Say your goodbyes, and you will be escorted to the land of tea in two days time."

"Mother won't allow it." I scrambled for one last rope to hold onto as I was swept quickly away by the current. "_I_ won't allow it."

"Fortunately enough, it is not up for either of you to decide." With one last look at the man I had thought was my brother, I ripped through the screen door and exited, not caring to actually open it. I had been wrong—I could not break the chain of unhappiness that seemed to follow me. I would suffer, and I would be lonely my entire life… that was the Uzumaki curse.

* * *

**So, you wanna know about this chapter huh?**

**Well, I actually split this chapter into two parts: this one and Chapter 5, which I will not tell you about yet. Originally, though, this went from where Kushina was walking towards Kenji's office on through the next chapter. The reason I split more is because I wanted to put a little more emphasis on Katsutoshi's funerals and his brothers, seeing as I hadn't talked about them much and wanted to develop their characters a little. Same with Keiko's part... I thought I hadn't gotten enough of her yet. So, the entire beginning half of this chapter was a spur of the moment idea that I added on. I hope you like it that way! ^_^**

**Keep Reading!**

**Leave a comment if you'd like**

**-TG**


	6. Darkness

**Hello everyone :)**

**I'm soooooooo glad schools out finally, that means much more free time to write! yay! I've been struggling to finish this chapter up for two weeks, but I finally have it done! However, this, like the last chapter, is also shorter than it originally would have been. I was going to have everything up through next chapter in this one, but I realized it was at a good stopping point and the next chapter wouldn't have had enough material otherwise. So, originally, this chapter, the last chapter, and the next one were going to be all one chapter. Sorry for keeping you waiting hahahaha... **

**Hope you enjoy! Read and review, please :)**

**Keep Reading**

**-TG**

* * *

Chapter 5- Darkness

By the time I had made it back to my room, the anger within me had spread through my entire body like a fire in my veins. It traveled from the shattered remnants of my heart through my lungs, choking away my breath, to my arms and legs and my fingers and toes. My entire body was so incapacitated by the anger that I practically felt numb. I paced from one wall to the other, over and over and over again unable to think more than one thing: _How can he do this to me?_

I had thought that cold, heartless man had been my _brother_, but I had been severely mistaken. No brother, no matter who they were, could be this cold hearted to their own sister! Blood related or not, he was no sibling of mine. Who was he to decide my fate? Who was he to decide what I were to become? Who was he to decide who I would _marry_? I was so infuriated that I ripped the pillow from my bed, shredding it to pieces, and huffed in anger until I was surrounded by a little cloud of white feathers that fell slowly all around me. If someone were to enter right now, I would probably look pretty comical for about two seconds—the time it would take me to murder who ever had entered my room and found the audacity to laugh at the situation.

Why did everyone find it so critical that my dreams be taken away? Everyone I knew had _some_ sort of happiness, but there was nothing given to me. Even if I hadn't tried to get my status reinstated, at least I would've had a family and my best friend. At least I would've been loved by someone! Arranged marriages were so common with my family that I felt stupid for thinking that I wouldn't be the same as all those women, all my aunts, my grandmother, and my mother, who had become a part of the Uzumaki Clan at the price of everything they had previously loved. I had never thought that the first time I had a child it would be with a stranger. As a child, I hadn't ever thought about fairytale weddings and how many perfect little babies I would have... but I think deep inside me I figured that I would marry someday. I suppose I thought that, even if I never loved someone, I would at least find someone I cared about enough for a life together to be comfortable. I figured that, if I ever did have children as many women were forced to do in our culture, I would at least know the father of my child before conception. I couldn't fathom the idea of creating a life and a family from _nothing; _not even some shred of a relationship. And I couldn't fathom leaving the life I had established here.

_I_ had only just created a somewhat nebulous relationship with my own mother, and now that was being taken away as well. Those long talks I had promised myself we would have eventually would never happen. The land of tea was too far away for any type of regular visit, and girls rarely saw their families again once they became part of a new clan. Which meant this would be one of the last times I would see my mother, most likely for the rest of my life.

With that thought, I ran from my room towards my mother's, needing desperately to be by her side at this very moment. But, as I passed the window that looked out onto the garden my mother and father used to love, I saw her sitting there at a bench—looking more serene and peaceful than I had ever seen her. I ran to the back door, pausing in front of her when she didn't look up to see me. She smiled, and I realized she was acknowledging my presence there without looking at me. In her thin, pale fingers she held a beautiful red rose. "My name..." She whispered. "_Akahana_, it means red flower... that's what I was named after. Your father loved my name; he always said it suited me so well for obvious reasons. He would bring me bouquets of red roses on every holiday, my birthday, and when you and your brothers were born. When we saw your little red head for the first time almost seventeen years ago, your father seriously considered breaking the trend to name every born Uzumaki child a name that started with a K, just so he could name you Akahana as well. I was the one, in the end, who decided what you would be named. I didn't want to disappoint your father, but I also didn't want to disrespect the clan elders. In the end, however, it didn't matter what we named you, because we both loved you so much that it didn't matter if you didn't even have a name."

"Oh, mother..." I finally sobbed, falling to my knees in front of her. I buried my arms and head in her lap, like I remembered doing as a child when I was afraid. And now, though I was almost seventeen years old, I was more afraid than I had ever been as a child. No thunder storm or imagined figure in the darkness could terrify me quite like my own fate could; because a thunder storm passes and the shadows disappear with the emergence of light, but fate? Fate was inescapable. No one could protect me from fate, but- if anyone could shield me in this time of need- it had to be my mother. So all I could do was cling to my mother's clothes and cry into her lap and hope that when my head rose I would be a little girl again; innocent and carefree and blissfully ignorant to the future ahead of me. My tears would've created a little wet spot in the front of her kimono had it not been black. I felt my mothers fingers comb through my long hair soothingly, but when I remembered that I would have to leave her it made me cry harder. "Mother, I'm going to miss you so much..."

I felt my mother's body tense beneath mine suddenly as if the warmth and softness that was her body had turned to stone beneath me. I could hear that same feeling in her voice when she spoke, "You're leaving?"

I shook my head; I knew she had mistaken what I had said. She had thought that I was leaving of my own accord. I had already promised myself, however, that I wouldn't hurt my mother like Kazuo did. I wouldn't run away; I was a shinobi. Shinobi aren't cowardly or spineless enough to shirk their problems by running from them. As much as I longed to leave, to escape fate as it catapulted at me at speeds I couldn't follow, I knew that my pride wouldn't allow it. "I don't want to, but I have no choice. Kenji has decided to marry me off to a nobleman from the land of tea... I leave in two days."

"Oh." She whispered, but the tension in her body never dissipated. "_Oh my dear..._"

As she finally realized that I was being forced to go, my sobs became louder and more uncontrollable. I was hysterical. I felt my mother's hands clench my hair as she brought her body closer to mine. She hunched over me like she was trying to protect me, her long red hair becoming a thin veil around us.

"Kushina..." She whispered after a long period of silence apart from my crying. "_Go._"

"W-what?" I asked, bringing my face up to look at hers.

"I want you to go." She smiled at me, smoothing down my hair and fixing the clip she had given me to hold it back.

"Y-you want me to go? You don't want me to stay with you?" I asked, feeling the last pieces of my heart shatter again until they were practically dust. Could my mother actually be agreeing with my brother, even though she said she loathed this fate herself when she was my age? Was she saying, like everyone else before her, that this was for the better in the end? I don't think I could cope if my mother agreed with what everyone else was saying—in this world, it seemed like my mother was my final ally.

She smiled down at me as she spoke in a soft, quiet tone. "My dear, of _course_ I want you to stay with me... but you don't deserve this. You don't deserve unhappiness, and- if you leave in two days- I can almost guarantee you'll be unhappy. I know from experience that you can't ever feel like your life is complete if you give up on your dreams before they've even started. I made new dreams... my dreams changed to having a happy life and for my three children to have everything they needed and wanted. Obviously, that dream isn't coming true as well—at least not for you, my dear. So, as much as I hate to let my baby girl go, you can't stay here anymore. The boys in this family have a pattern of letting status and power make them lose their way, and I don't want you to be the same."

I looked up at her in shock, not quite sure of what she was telling me to do. "You... you want me to run away?" She nodded and wiped the tears from my face. "I can't run away. I refuse to be like Onii-san... I won't disgrace our family and myself like that."

"You are not your brother, Kushina. He had his reasons for leaving, and you have yours. So, for your own happiness and my peace of mind, you _must_ leave the village. It doesn't matter what the others in the village think of you, because you and I both know in our hearts that you are doing the right thing. Disgrace means nothing to me... not now. And, when you're gone, it will mean nothing to you too. Go, Kushina." By the end of my mothers speech, her voice was no longer shaky with emotion but resolute. She meant what she had said—she really wanted me to run away.

My eyes, now dried from the fabric of her kimono, looked up into hers, searching for something to convince my doubting mind. "But, mom, I just can't leave the village with—"

"You can, and you _will._" She assured me, putting her hands on the sides of my face as she looked me in the eyes.

When her absolute assurance was tangible on her face, I was finally convinced that it was the right thing to do. How I was going to achieve this goal was a completely different question. "But how? Kenji is a trained shinobi; he'll know I'm leaving and come after me. Even if I leave at night, he'll _know_. He's probably already keeping a close eye on me, and I doubt he'll let me out of his sight even once in these next two days. He probably already considers me a flight risk."

"Let me handle your brother." My mother assured me, but I did not feel any less paranoid about the situation. She could sense that. She chuckled. "Did you know your grandmother, my mother that is, was a great herbalist in her day? Yes, she would provide the hospitals and the medical ninja with the best medicinal herbs in the country; if it was within a few miles of the village, she could find it. She would take me out to gather herbs with her as a child, and she would teach about every one. It seemed like there was no plant or root she didn't know. Not only that, but she could make the most useful things out of them. She made ointments and remedies for the hospital, but the strongest and most useful of her concoctions she kept in the family; opiates and strong sleeping aids and things like that..."

My mother winked at me, and I couldn't help but get the feeling that my mother would have made a good kunoichi too, if not an evil genius. My mother was planning on knocking her own son out so I could run away from home... I knew I loved her for a reason. She kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes. "I want you to go to your training field as soon as your brother leaves the house. He won't be gone long today, but it should be long enough for you to get to wherever you've hid your training clothes and back without him knowing. Your journey may be long and rigorous, so it's best if you're comfortable and fit to defend yourself should you encounter any unwanted company. Now, I don't want you going to Earth or lightning country... you know how they are in this war; far too violent for my liking. I'd prefer you go to one of the smaller, neutral areas but if you must find a ninja village I'd suggest either waterfall to the north, the leaf village, or the grass village to the west. The sand's too far away and I've heard horrible stories about the mist, so I don't want you going there either. But, Kushina?"

"Yes?"

"Above all else, just be safe. You still have the chance to make something worthwhile out of your life. Don't waste it by not being careful." She said to me in that condescending, motherly tone of voice; the one that I loathed hearing as a child, but now wished could some how still be a part of my life. It was just one of those little things you take for granted: the overprotective tendencies of a parent—the very one you hated when you heard it, but missed when it was gone. At least, I knew_ I_ would miss it. Now that I knew it would be one of the last time I heard that all-too-familiar voice, I relished in the sound of it. I wouldn't have my mother to watch over me after tonight. But, if she was willing to sacrifice that for my happiness, then I knew I could not put that gesture to waste.

"Of course I won't, mother. This means so much to me... I only wish there was a way that I could fulfill my dreams and keep you in my life." I said finally standing in front of her and looked down to where she sat on the bench.

"You can't imagine how much I wish that too." She muttered, but smiled at me. "But someday, I hope that your brother will put aside his petty thoughts or a new regime will make its way through the whirlpool village that allows me to be with you once again. Maybe one day we will even see your brother again; but until that day, I want you to keep holding on to the hope that we will meet again. Even if I have to wait years and years and you're grown with your own new life and family by the time we see each other, I will take you in my arms like you're still my brand new baby girl. And I want you to promise me something: no matter what happens and no matter where we will be in the years to come, you will never forget your family. No matter who it is and how long it's been, you will find your family again and you will bring them back into your lives. No matter who takes our place in your heart, you will still leave room."

"Of course not, mom... no one can replace my family. _No one._" I embraced my mother quickly, and she held me tightly to her. As soon as we separated, I hurried back into the house—I had some very discreet packing to do.

Pulling my brother's jacket around me and zipping it halfway, I nodded to myself: I was ready. I had everything I needed from here. All the kunai, shuriken, and wire I could carry were fit snugly into the little black kunai pouch at my waist. On the way home from the training field, I had made a little pit stop:

flashback

_With my ninja clothes under my kimono, I ran from rooftop to rooftop in the Uzumaki compound. The sun was just beginning to disappear behind the ripples of the ocean on the horizon. It always set early around this time of year, and I paused for just a moment to watch it. I didn't have much time, but I couldn't help but stop to take it all in one last time. It was one of the things I would miss about the whirlpool village: the sun setting over the ocean. I loved the water and the waves, and I had loved the great whirlpool before it had collapsed. Above all else, I loved my village: there weren't many people who could say they were as proud of their village as me. It hurt me to say I would be leaving it, but I knew that this was not where I belonged any more. I just hoped that wherever I found myself eventually would make me feel that same way someday—would make me feel as proud to be a part of it was the whirlpool could; that would feel like it was where I belonged; would feel like home again._

_I looked down at the roof below me and blinked in surprise when I realized what house I had paused on top of. It seemed too perfect to be coincidental, so- not waiting for my mind to talk me out of it- I balnaced myself on the ledge of the roof and used one hand to swing myself down into the window directly below me. I landed in the room with a muffled thud that I purposefully made so I wouldn't shock the inhabitants of the room too much; if I had been sneaking into the room, I wouldn't have made any noise at all. Despite my efforts to be conspicuous, however, the girl who sat sprawled across the bed in the center of the room jumped when she heard me. The large scroll she had been reading fell from the bed and rolled across the floor, unraveling the long page entirely. The girl frowned down at the thing in annoyance, blowing her long black bangs from her face._

"_Dear Kami, Kushina! What the hell are you doing? Jumping through windows like you're trying to kill someone or something!" She stepped of the bed, making to reassemble the scroll, mumbling all the while. In the middle of her tidying she paused looking up at me with a wary expression. She blinked a few times before asking timidly. "Wait, you're not on some like secret mission to kill me, are you?"_

"_You know what, Keiko-chan? I am disappointed that you couldn't trace my chakra signature or hear me on top of your roof before now. Amazing ninja you are!" She glared over at me as I took the scroll from her hands and rolled it up quicker than she could have blinked. It was something I had picked up on my many long days and nights studying scrolls in the Uzumaki clan library. "And first off, Keiko-chan, thinking that I might be on a mission is a ridiculous idea. There's not a person in this village who woul hire me for a mission; not with the ban against any ninja activities on me."_

"_True." She conceded, sticking her tongue out at me._

_I rolled my eyes at her childish chiding, and continued. "Secondly, if my mission was to kill you, it wouldn't do a whole lot of good telling you that, would it? But, by the time you would know in that case, it would already be too late to do anything about it." _

_I grinned wickedly as she scoffed at me. "Like I'm scared of you!" _

_I laughed and responded. "You should be. Sorry to break it to you, but you're not exactly on anyone's hit list or bingo book—not in this village or in any other for that matter. Why would anyone have just cause for killing you? You're about as dangerous as a wooden kunai."_

_I leaned back effortlessly as I felt the swoosh of air that signaled something flying quickly past my face. I looked over at the thrown kunai with a bored expression as it lodged itself in the wall beside me. I smirked at Keiko as she glared at me. "_That_ one's sure not made of wood—you can try it if you're not sure."_

_I laughed at her, dislodging the kunai from the wall. Sure enough, the edge was pointed and glistening and would have left a painful mark had it hit home. I ran my hand gingerly over the blade without breaking the skin. "Might as well have been... what with your aim." _

_As if the first one hadn't been enough, I saw in my peripheral vision the quick motion of her throwing action. This time however, I brought my hand up to meet the projectile with the one that she had thrown before. As it ricocheted off of the surface, creating a high-pitched clanging sound in the process, I caught the second kunai with my free hand. When the commotion had settled, I looked at Keiko's stunned face as I held my fighting stance: legs bracing themselves at shoulder width apart, one kunai above my head and one held out in front of me. I grinned in triumph, knowing that I had scared my friend a little. She had never really seen how skilled I was before: she had asked, of course, being a good friend, but I had never given much detail. The little time we did get to talk in detail, we mostly talked about the adventures she had been on. It had been my way of living vicariously through her. Now, though, she had a front row seat to a minor exposition of my talent. I only wish that I could really spar her—and now I knew I never would get the opportunity unless she sought me out in the future. That was highly unlikely though. _

"_I take back what I said, Kushina-chan..." She mumurmed, while still looking at me with that fleetingly terrified expression. "You are a bit scary._

"_Good." I said, stuffing the two kunai into the folds of my kimono and straightening my posture. "What is a ninja if not intimidating? But that was nothing—just some trickery with kunai. However, that _is_ what I came here to discuss with you."_

"_Kunai?" She asked curiously, leaning back onto her low mattress. "You need some more?" _

"_Yes," I said slowly, thinking of the best way to break the news to her. "Only, I don't need just _some_...I need as many kunai, shuriken, and as much wire as you can possibly spare to give me."_

_She sat much straighter now, alerted by the serious tone of my voice. "What's going on, Kushina-chan? Are you planning something?"_

"_Quite the contrary." I corrected, chuckling in a low, solemn tone. "This is very last minute, but I'm leaving and I need your help."_

_She stood up and looked up at me with her big, gray-blue eyes. "Of course I'll help you, Kushina-chan; you're my best friend. But have you thought this through? Is this really what you want? I mean, think about your mother... she'll be crushed."_

_I closed my eyes against the pain that her words brought, and tried not to let the anger at her accusations bother me. She didn't know the truth yet. I looked down as I spoke. "This was actually my mother's idea, surprisingly enough. I was against the idea at first... I didn't want to make the same mistakes Kazuo-nii-kun made."_

_She sucked in her breath at the mention of my brother, not used to me speaking such a forsaken name openly and calmly. We had spoken of Kazuo before, of course, but we had become experts at not going past my comfort level. Whenever the subject had come up, we had skirted around using his name or mentioning any sore subjects. I looked at her now, inhibitions gone. "Kenji-san was planning on marrying me off to a lord in the land of tea. I would have left in two days time anyway. This way at least, I might be able to find happiness somewhere... who knows. The chances are greater this way, at least."_

_I could feel her penetrating gaze on me, and I could tell she had noticed the sudden formality I used while mentioning my brother: it was the first time I had mentioned my siblings in her presence without using onii-san or nii-kun. I didn't meet her critical gaze, not sure if I could handle my emotional stability if I did. I could think of many people in the village that I would miss, but there were only two that actually made me consider staying for the last two days I had left; if only to have those last forty-eight hours with my mother and my best friend, I would give up that freedom. I feared that if I did look into the eyes of my best friend, I would lose the wavering resolve that kept me going through this whole ordeal. I had one foot out the door, but it wouldn't take much to get it back inside. _

"_You're really going?" She whispered after a long period of silence. I nodded, and she threw her arms around me again—just like she had done at the funeral earlier today. "Oh, Kushina-chan... this never ends for you, does it? But this—this is good. No, this is perfect. This is just what you need—a fresh start."_

_As she spoke, I could hear her trying to convince herself as well as me. I didn't think she was lying to me—I knew deep down she knew this was a better path for me, but that didn't mean it wasn't hard for her to say it. She was losing a best friend, just like I was. "I'm going to miss you so much, 'Shina-chan."_

"_I'll miss you too, 'Iko-chan." For just a moment, I let myself forget why I was here or where I had to be. I held my best friend in my arms as she cried into my shoulder but tried not to. She didn't like to show this much emotion but was dismally horrible at hiding it. _

_When she had composed herself enough to function, she packed a kunai pouch full of everything I could need. As I left through her window, I didn't look back. I couldn't look back… not if I was going to convince myself to keep moving forward._

_End flashback_

My room, unfortunately, did not have a quick-escape window like Keiko's did. I wish it had: it would have made my escape ten times simpler. At least I knew my brother wouldn't wake—not with the amount of sleeping herbs my mother slipped in his tea. That amount could have knocked out a horse. That was my only saving grace as I crept out to the kitchen.

I saw my mother immediately. She stood in the center of the kitchen, packing supplies away for me in a large backpack. When her eyes met mine, her hands froze where they were on the bag. Without any more hesitation, I ran to her. I let her wrap her arms around me and just hold me like I was small again. It didn't matter that I was taller than her or that I was practically an adult; for what would probably be the last time I just wanted to let my mother hold me in her arms and be safe.

"Alright," She finally said after a long moment that was entirely too short. She wiped under her eyes to try and remove the last traces of her tears. "You have to get going now. Your brother shouldn't wake up, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be careful. I don't think there's many people who'd believe you're going on a late night stroll in this attire."

I nodded, laughing as I wiped my own tears away. "I know, mom. I'll be careful."

"You better." She said, resting one hand on my cheek. "When you get settled down and it's safe to do so, write to me. I need to make sure you're ok."

"Ok." I said, placing my arms into the straps of my bag when she lifted it up for me. There wasn't anything else I needed to do: it was time. After one last embrace from my mother, I was gone.

When I was outside in the Uzumaki compound, I moved from shadow to shadow, not risking being seen by anyone. The world was eerily quiet; not even the crickets called tonight. The sky was dark with the new moon, but lit with a million stars. It was one of those nights that I actually _would_ have loved to take a long walk, but this particular outing was far from a casual stroll. When I reached the gates, I saw the sleeping form of Hiroshi the gate keeper in the little booth. Climbing the fence without waking him up would be simple. Everything so far seemed to be going according to schedule. I dropped my backpack from my shoulder to my hand and threw the pack over the fence where I heard it land with a muffled thud. I was almost out. It had gone so flawlessly thus far that I almost dropped my guard… _almost._

That's why, when the shuriken were suddenly flung towards my face, I was able to quickly deflect them with the kunai that had been hidden in the sleeves of my jacket. The three that had been thrown weren't alone however. I leaned back to avoid the next round of throwing stars, but as soon as I did another round followed. When I leaned back so far that I was practically touching the ground, I braced myself with my hands and flipped myself upright with a back hand spring. I spun once more rapidly to deflect the next round, but stopped when I didn't sense any more approaching. I paused, my breathing coming out deep and even despite the sudden physical activity. When a low clapping noise sliced the silence, I jolted up to look at the source. There, applauding my performance was my brother.

"_Kenji_." I hissed, releasing the other kunai in my left sleeve in preparation. He was fully garbed in his ninja attire and didn't appear at all like hjust magically woke from a long, drug-induced slumber. He had been planning this; he had known all along.

"Very _good!_ Exemplary performance really. I shouldn't be surprised though; you always did make Otou-san _so_ proud, didn't you?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm that was purposefully meant to aggravate me. He was mocking me. "You really _are_ the pride and joy of the Uzumaki Clan, aren't you, Kushina-imoto-san?"

"_Don't_ you dare talk to me like you're still my big brother, Kenji. You lost the right to call me _little sister_ when you stopped treating me with the decency reserved for such a title." I glared at him, hating everything about him. From the way he stood so arrogantly as if he knew that he could stop me to the way his words seemed to ooze with sarcasm, I hated every bit of him.

"Really, now, did I hurt your _feelings,_ Kushina-imoto-san? Because you hurt mine; you and mother. Trying to knock me out like I'm some idiot! Did you honestly think some half-wit herbal sleeping remedy could get past me? I could smell it from a mile away. It's _insulting_ really; my own mother thinking I was that idiotic." He scoffed in mock offense, but I could sense the sudden change in his stance. He had stiffened in response to something… some sound, that I could hear coming from over the wall. Something was going on outside the walls of our compound, and Kenji's leader instincts were beginning to kick in. He had to decide which was more important: keeping me in or checking on the problems outside. He had to decide which was more important: his village or his pride? Before he could decide or either of us could act, however, we both looked down in shock at the ground beneath us. It was rumbling as if an earth quake was erupting beneath us. Forgetting completely about my brother's presence in front of me, I thought quickly. Something was definitely not right—every fiber of my being was telling me that. Without any further hesitation, I relied completely on my instinct. I launched myself high into the air and balanced on top of the compound gate. The path in the air where I had just flown was now replaced with two huge columns of earth and rock that had risen from the ground below.

That's when I heard the voice: "Earth Style: Pillar Prison Jutsu!"

My brother had frozen in place, looking at the spot where I had just stood moments ago as if he was paralyzed. Before he could stop it, two similar pillars of earth rose from the ground, and locked him in their grasp, literally squeezing the life out of him. I looked for the source of the command, but was unable to locate the hiding ninja. The two pillars of rock had his hands and arms locked in their confines, and were closing slowly together until they would suffocate him.

"Kenji!" I screamed, suddenly afraid I was going to watch him die before my eyes. Then I saw the glint of something catching the light in the shadows of one of our buildings. Without any hesitation, I ran towards the sound, making a hand sign in the process. "Wind Style: Air Scythe!"

Slices of air burst forth from all around me as I ran, surging towards the target ahead. I heard many things all at once: the rush of air around me, the struggles of my brother who was close behind me, and the pained cries of the target ahead who had just been hit by my air scythe jutsu. I reached forward into the darkness, wrapping my hand around the collar of whoever it was. When I pulled the perpetrator into the light, I gasped in shock. The wind jutsu had cut deep fissures all over the man's body, leaving him bloodied and beaten. I had been practicing this jutsu for as long as I could control air style chakra, and I thought I had been prepared to use it in battle. I was ready to use it, but that didn't mean I was ready to see the real world effects it had on people. I had never really _hurt_ people before, much less killed anyone. And now, I was killing a man. He gasped for breath, having been taken by surprise by the attack. I couldn't think about guilt right now, however. Right now I had to worry about saving my brother, so I could kill him myself. I squeezed his collar tighter in my fist, furious. "_Cancel the jutsu… NOW!"_

I screamed at the man and he panicked, shaking his head as more and more blood pooled around him. I wasn't being very patient, however; Kenji was slowly being killed behind me. "Call it off, I said!"

"I can't!" He cried, his tone desperate and pleading. "It's too late!"

And he was right. Behind me, I could hear Kenji's painful cry as the pillars closed him within their grasp. With one last scream, I heard a sickening crunch and felt a splatter against my back. I cringed when I felt the tingling drops hit my hands and neck, and brought my hand up to face. Dark drops of crimson blood spotted my skin, and I gasped in shock. I couldn't turn around. I couldn't see how badly the jutsu had mutilated my brother's body, not when his blood was literally on my hands. I couldn't bear to look upon the dead face of the man I had grown up with, if there was anything left to look upon. I clenched my fist in fury, smearing the blood against my hands.

"You're right." I murmured, the man's collar still grasped tightly in my other fist. "It is too late… for you anyway."

With that, I brought my stained fist across his face with all my power. The bones in his face crushed beneath the impact, and I relished in the feeling. I was so angry I couldn't even stand it: how dare he kill my family. I may not have liked Kenji, but that gave no right for some stranger to come assassinate him! I drew my hand back in preparation to beat him again, but it was then that I noticed his ninja headband. My grip loosened as did my fist as I stared at the beaten man in shock. "A rock ninja? What are rock ninja doing in the whirlpool vill—"

Just then however, he was not alone anymore. Rock ninja began to siphon through the cracks in the walls and through the shadows. I looked up suddenly, realizing that the sound I had heard from before had increased in sound. I hadn't noticed before, in my fit of rage, but the sound that was coming from the village all around us was _screaming._ Looking around at the enemy rock ninja, the grim truth dawned on me: the Whirlpool village was being invaded. No longer caring about my original mission of leaving the village, I now knew my job was to defend it. Kazuo was gone, Kenji was dead… and I don't know what the official order would be in this case, but I guess that made me interim clan leader. And as clan leader for the moment, my job was to defend my family, my clan, and my village.

The group around me had paused in their hesitation, seeing that I had one of their shinobi dying of slow blood loss at my feet. In one moment, I dropped the almost dead shinobi, flung the two kunai in my hands at two enemy shinobi, and made six rapid hand signs. I heard two of the enemy fall as I whispered the jutsu. "Wind style: Scythe Vortex Jutsu!"

With that, hundreds of the scythes that had cut down the first shinobi sprung from me in every direction, cutting and mutilated everything in their path. A few of the ninjas managed to retreat behind the gate and the buildings for cover, but the rest fell in a jumbled heap against the sides of the buildings. When the vortex ceased, I panted in exhaustion but braced myself for the remaining ninjas to attack. I had the determination and the anger within me to fight a hundred shinobi, but not the chakra. I could already feel my chakra limit dwindling at a dangerously fast rate, and it frustrated me immensely that I was so weak in that aspect. My chakra control was fair, but not great. It was one of my greatest weaknesses, and I could definitely feel it after such an advanced jutsu.

"Oh, the little Uzumaki princess is getting tired, is she?" The men taunted me, kunai randomly being thrown towards my face which I easily avoided. As much as I couldn't be distracted, I was terribly surprised they knew who I was. How'd they know I was the Uzumaki heiress?

"Not a chance!" I yelled, throwing shuriken until I heard the sickening sounds as they made contact with human skin. Kazuo's jacket was covered in my sweat and the blood of the ninja I had killed, and I hated that I had dirtied it that way. That wasn't important at the moment, however. Right now the only important thing was the rapidly varying amount of enemy ninja who were circling me. I had knocked out at least two dozen shinobi, but their numbers seemed to be growing more rapidly as more and more lurked from the shadows and from over the gates. From the village I could hear the screams growing in number and pitch, and I could smell the thick scent of smoke lingering in the air. There was a light glowing from the left gate, which told me something was on fire. My head felt heavy from breathing in the thick air laced with smoke, and I knew I couldn't keep this up for long. Where were the other Uzamaki clan members? Where were the village shinobi? Why doesn't anyone come to help when you really need it?

I attempted my Scythe Vortex Jutsu again, but this time the power was weak in comparison to the first. What had previously knocked out a dozen men now only inured maybe five. I huffed in frustration, but did not relent in my taijutsu attack. Every time a shinobi approached me, from any side, it only took about three seconds to deal a knock out blow. But I was running dangerously low on chakra, energy, and weapons. I was down to the last round of my kunai and shuriken. I threw them sparingly now, trying less to kill and more to incapacitate. I may not be able to completely get rid of the opponent, but I could at least give myself an opening to escape and find reinforcements. But if their numbers kept multiplying ceaselessly like they were, I'd never see an end to this.

With my last kunai in hand, I tried desperately to think of a strategy. When, suddenly, all of my surroundings faded away. "Kushina!" I looked over at the voice, unable to comprehend it.

"Mother?" I asked in disbelief, seeing that the rock ninja had their filthy hands on her.

"We have Lady Uzumaki!" The shinobi who had my mother in his grasp said, showing her like a prize to his fellow shinobi.

"Mother!" I yelled, throwing my last kunai so quickly the enemy couldn't have even blinked before they were hit. The kunai made contact right in between the eyes of the man holding my mother, and a sob erupted from her suddenly but she broke from his dead grasp. I began to run towards her, but it was too late. The enemy had seized their chance to distract me, creating a quick jutsu.

"Earth Style: Rock Wall!" I watched my mother's eyes grow huge as she saw the jutsu coming toward me. I couldn't see it. I couldn't see anything beside my mother's terrified face, and then I couldn't see anything at all. I couldn't see the dozens of men I had killed for my village—the same village that had never accepted me in their ranks. I couldn't see the gruesome remains of what had been my brother, the Leader of the Uzumaki Clan. I could no longer see the woman I loved more than anyone or anything else, my mother, Lady Uzumaki. As the weight of the jutsu hit me head-on, all I could see was darkness.

* * *

**Yeah, Kenji had to die -_- He was so mean, I had to do it. You might ask how Kushina sensed the enemy ninja but not Kenji... she's better than him, duh! Hahaha, but really it was a surprise attack so Kenji wouldn't have realized it until it was too late. And he could have thought that she was just retreating when she jumped into the air. Also, you might ask why Kushina was suddenly all "don't kill my bro!" When only moments ago she said she hated him... well the explanation for that is in the situation. When he's taking away all her remnants of happiness, of course she hates him and doesn't see him as her brother. But when some enemy rock ninja sneaks up and squishes him between a rock and a hard place (hahahaha, had to say that), of course she'll be a little angry. Who wouldn't when you have your siblings blood splattered all over you? **

**That's a happy thought...not ^_^**

**-TG**


	7. Trapped

**Hey everyone!**

**Yaaay! Quick updates! hahahaha, as I told you previously in the last chapter, this was supposed to be part of chapter 5 and chapter 5 was originally supposed to be part of chapter 4. So I got three chapters out of one! phew... tiring. Hahaha, not so much for me but for my characters. Now, going back over the past three chapters can you imagine how I would've fit THAT much into one? O.O... neither can I. I'm sooooo excited for the next one... so I'll get to that as soon as possible, hopefully have another one up this week end! (no promises though)**

**Keep Reading! (And reviews are welcomed, trust me)**

**-TG**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Masashi Kishimoto's characters, which right now is just Kushina, nor do I own any Naruto-based plotline or settings. I did own my originally characters but then I either had them run off or had Rock ninja kill them off so... O.O Now what?**

* * *

Chapter 6- Trapped

The first thing I was aware of when the glimmer of consciousness came back to me was the heat. It was all around me, radiating toward me in ceaseless waves. I felt like I was literally being cooked inside an oven, but was unable to see the walls around me. Until of course, I opened my eyes to see the blistering hell that surrounded me.

When my eyes flickered open, they shut again instantly from the incessant heat. My eyes couldn't handle the fumes, even though I tried to pry them open. I didn't know why at the moment, but I just knew I had to open my eyes. I had to get up, even though I couldn't even feel my own body. When my eyes finally managed to open once again, I had to squint to see anything at all. But the little surface area of my eyes exposed to the climate within the room burned incessantly and unbearably. And, when I did see something, it was only one thing: fire.

The fire was all around me, not touching me but surrounding me. I supposed it was just luck that I hadn't been covered in flames already. I didn't know how long I had been in this insufferable heat, considering it felt like I had blacked out only moments before, but I figured that if the situation was different I could have been nothing but a charred pile of ash by now. The flames around me were an angry red and orange color, and they danced all around, making the walls blacken and crumble. The raging flames were so loud that it was deafening, and I couldn't even hear myself think. It was so hard to process information when you couldn't even hear your own thoughts.

The next thing that I became aware of was the smoke. I felt the hard ground beneath me, searing from the fire, which meant I was on the floor, below the majority of the smoke. I could see it like a thick black cloud above me, wiping away any view of the ceiling or sky I might have had. But just because most of it was above me did not mean I was spared from it. As I took each ragged breath, I could feel the thick air creeping into my lungs slowly and painfully. I coughed relentlessly, but it didn't provide any relief to my aching chest.

Coughing, squinting, and boiling from the inside out was not the best way to assess a situation. In fact, it was very distracting. But among all these other sensations, there was one clear positive reaction within my body: an adrenaline rush. My mind, despite being inaccessible at the time, was providing its own remedies for my state of uselessness. Pure adrenaline pumped through my veins, motivating me to start moving my limbs even when I couldn't feel them. I hesitantly tried to clench my fist, but didn't even know where my hand was located. After frustrating minutes of trying to reclaim control over my own body, I was able to move my arms. This was enough to at least get me moving.

I clawed at the weak panels in the floor, trying to drag my worthless body somewhere. Where to go, however, was the real question. Everywhere I looked through the tiny slit in my squinted eyes was an enormous wall of flames. There was no break in them, no possible exit. My arms shook beneath me, trying to hold up the weight of my shoulders. While I stayed there, looking dumbly upon the hopeless situation, my arms gave out beneath me. It was at that pitiful, hopeless moment that I realized what was going to happen. _I was going to die._ The ashes and fumes had gotten in my eyes, making them water already, but this time they were joined by my own defeated tears. Why couldn't I have just run when I had the chance? Kenji had been captured; the enemy ninja had been preoccupied with killing him… I had the perfect opportunity to run. Even if I had run into more enemies, I probably could have fought them off since I wasn't trapped within my own compound like before. I could have left right then and found that place that would have made me happy again. I could have gone through my plans like I had intended to. So why didn't I?

_Because, your family might have abandoned you, but you couldn't abandon them._ I answered myself. I knew it in my heart: I wouldn't have been able to leave my family there without trying to protect them. Even though my own brother had decided to ship me off far away from everything I had ever loved, I didn't hesitate to try and save his life. And then, when he was dead, I didn't leave him like I should have. I tried to avenge his death, knowing that, had the situations been reversed, he probably wouldn't have shown the same decency to me. I knew that I couldn't throw away the almost seventeen years that had been my life in one pressured moment. It was against my very nature to abandon my family; to run away. When the moment came where I had to choose between my own happiness and trying to protect my family, I had chose the latter option without hesitating or even considering the other option. In the end, however, it didn't matter that I had tried to protect them. Kenji had died because he was trying to stop me and had been distracted. My mother had probably died because they needed some sort of weakness to use against me. Who knew what happened to the rest of them. All of my uncles and aunts and cousins… were they dead too? Had the whole village been destroyed and set on fire like they had done to our compound? I would never find out. It didn't matter what I knew or didn't know, what I had done or chosen not to do, because I was going to die. In the end, it hadn't mattered that I had given up my own happiness to protect everyone I had ever loved, because now I was stuck in a room of fire; destined to slowly turn to ashes.

As the hot tears rolled down my face, I knew I couldn't accept that. I would not accept that my life was meant to end just before it really started. This couldn't be the end… it couldn't... With one last surge of wavering resolve, I lifted myself up onto my hands and knees, motivating myself to move. I struggled to life my leg, and I gritted my teeth in frustration. I yelled out to the walls around me and my unwilling limbs in anger and determination. "_Move, damn it!"_

Finally I got myself forward a little bit more, only getting closer to the wall of flames. If this didn't help me get out, maybe it wouldn't prolong the wait. I lifted my head, inhaling a huge gulp of smoke. I coughed but made myself look up anyway. Even though it only brought me closer to the smoke and the waves of heat, I had to get a good look around. I had to find some way out… some way… _any _way. _Dear Kami, help me! _I prayed silently as I clambered around the small amount of space that was not engulfed in flames.

I crept closer to the fire directly in front of me, hoping and praying that an opening would magically appear that would allow me to get to a door or a window or something that could help me escape. Just as I crawled forward, the weakened floor suddenly gave way beneath my weight. My hand barreled through the wood panels, sinking deep into the ground until the thick splintered wood cut deep gashes into my arm. I sucked in a deep cry, as I felt the pain gnawing at my entire arm and shoulder. Waves of intense pain struck up and down my arm, as if the sensation couldn't decide where it should linger first. The fact that I was almost up to my shoulder in deep, smarting wounds and stuck in the floor boards of a burning house wasn't even my greatest problem. The wall of flames took the new kindling I had created for it greedily; consuming the huge panels of finely polished wood that had burst from the ground when I fell through as if they were nothing more than twigs. The flames got closer and closer, as if following the trail I had accidentally led straight between myself and the ever approaching fire. I looked down at my quickly numbing arm that was still trapped between the floor boards and back up at the approaching fire. If I didn't get out of this situation now, I would be a pile of ashes much sooner than I had anticipated.

With one last frantic look at the quickly moving fire, I yanked my arm to dislodge it from the floor boards. When I did however, I heard a sickening pop in my shoulder that was soon accompanied by a pain so unbelievable that it sent bright red spots flashing in my vision, temporarily blinding me. Even when the spots disappeared, the pain did not. I cried out through the pain, the sound coming out as a silent scream because the pain was so blinding. My silent scream made me breathless, and breathing deeply was not a good idea. I choked on another excruciating gulp of smoke and ash, all the while failing to feel my arm any more. Some how, even though my arm simply felt like an annoying weight on my shoulder and not an actual limb, I was able to feel the pain still.

I didn't know why, but I was reminded of the time I had broken my leg when I was nine years old. I had been trying to sneak up on my brother, Kazuo, and I had climbed into the tree in the training field where he was preparing for his upcoming exams. I had planned on jumping on him as my attack just as he went to retrieve his kunai from the target posted on said tree. However, my brother was a ninja, and I had not anticipated that he would sense me as I barreled towards him from the high branches of the tree. He moved quickly out of the way, leaving me to crash to the ground, breaking my leg. I remember the pain the most—it had been unbearable at the time. My leg had been broken in two places, or so the local medical ninja had told us. I remember Kazuo's face distinctly when he realized that it was me, and not an attacking ninja that had fell from the tree and was sprawled in a broken heap on the ground. At first he had laughed at me, but his humor quickly had turned to horror when he realized that I was in intense pain. It took him no more than five seconds to scoop me up from the ground and take me into the village to get help. After he had heard the diagnosis, he felt so guilty I couldn't stand it. He had actually blamed _himself_ for me falling, even though I had been trying to scare him. And even though I had to take a rather unwilling break from the academy training and the pain had been horrible, I had been fine. Needless to say, I hadn't climbed a tree until I learned how to do it with chakra, but still—I had had an amazing older brother to take care of me for the weeks I spent in that horrid cast.

Now, however, was nothing like that incident. This pain was ten times that of my broken leg. The situation was a thousand times worse, seeing as I was entirely alone. At a time like this, I actually _wished_ I had fallen out of a tree during a practical joke and had my brother to pick me up and try to make it all better. I wished that I had someone to take care of me as I recovered, and make that pain seem diminutive in comparison to the care that I was receiving. I wished that I had the warm grass of the training field around me, even if it hadn't been great in breaking my fall. But this was not the training field, and my brother wasn't here to save me. I was all alone in a room of fire—the very fire that would slowly consume me as I fought to wrench my mangled arm from its wooden confines.

Still screaming and crying from the pain, I felt around the floor; across the splintered edges of wood and the rusted nails that protruded sharply and dangerously from them. I finally felt the warm flesh of my left arm, though I could not feel my hand as it ran across the ragged and torn skin. I looked down at the fire as it flickered and writhed only inches away. This was it. It was either my arm or the rest of me, I decided. I had to do this quickly, like a bandage—a giant, mind-blowingly painful bandage. I cried out in terror as the flames closed the last few inches until they nearly reached me. I screamed in fright and anticipation of the pain as the fire made its first licks against my flesh, as if it were testing me for taste. Backing away franticly, I finally yanked my arm from the dark abyss below the floor. I could feel the final ripping of my brother's jacket, the netting that had covered my fore arm, and the skin beneath it as I pulled the limb from its wooden prison. I sobbed and cried, but I couldn't think about how blindingly brilliant the pain was or how much I just wanted to curl into myself and let the fire overtake me. My first priority was backing away. As soon as my arm was free, I used the momentum and flew backwards away from the approaching fire.

I just hadn't realized that the fire in front of me was not the only one that had grown considerably in size during my moment of pure panic. As I backed up, another searing wall of flames met me from behind, catching on my jacket and the ends of my hair. I fell backwards on to the ever-decreasing amount of stable ground, trying desperately to put out my clothes and hair. I cradled my arm against me as I looked around franticly for a way out of the room of flames. My arm had deep, bleeding gashes going from my wrist to my upper forearm, which bled into my clothes and all over my stomach and chest. I didn't care about that though. I just needed a way out… any way out!

I looked around franticly one last time, praying again for something. There it was: a tiny, almost insignificant break in the flames between two of the growing walls of fire. I didn't hesitate. I took a deep breath, standing in a crouch as I ran through to the break. The fire flared at my calves and toes, but I didn't even pay attention to them as I charged through until I hit a wall—no not a wall… a _window._

Feeling the glass panels beneath my fingers, I sobbed in relief. The fire was still thick on my heels, but at least I was close to a way out. I could feel it, right there in front of me, taunting me with the sweet idea of freedom from this torturous hell-hole. Not wanting to ruin my one good arm, I took my mangled arm and slammed the gloved hand, which was already covered in my blood, into the window pane. I winced as I felt the shards of glass cutting into the fabric of my gloves and the tender flesh beneath. I didn't care about the pain anymore. I just needed to break away some more of this wall and…

I stopped in horror as I felt the area outside of the window until my fingers met a solid surface. Unable to see more than a few inches in front of my face from the smoke, I felt around the entire area of the air outside the window. I didn't care about the remaining shards of glass cutting into my already ruined arm as I felt around the thick wall of what felt like… _rock._ It was a wall of solid rock, blocking my only chance at an exit.

_Of course_ I was locked in. I should have guessed as much. This hadn't been some stupid house fire caused by an oven or rebellious, but stupid civilian arsonist; this was an ambush, enacted by hundreds of experienced enemy ninja. Of course they had taken great measures to ensure that there were no survivors; not men, not women, not children, and especially not ninjas. The rock ninjas were experts in Earth style jutsu, something I had failed to ever even attempt much less master, and therefore could create monstrous and impenetrable walls and formations of rock: _just like this one._ Now that I thought about it, it was stupid to think that I ever had a chance of survival. If the ninjas didn't kill me, the impact of their rock jutsu would. If their jutsu didn't kill me, then the fire they had set to my home would. If the fire didn't kill me, the smoke inhalation would. If the smoke inhalation didn't kill me, then my own self-degradation would have done the job fine.

How could I have been so stupid? Everyone always said that when you knew you were about to die, your whole life would flash before your eyes. But my pitiful, useless little life did not flash before my eyes, and I was inexplicably grateful for that. In my last moments on the earth, I did not _want_ to see the painful reminder of all my failures. Because that is exactly what my sick, twisted little life story had been so far: a big, muddled web of failures. I failed at finding my dreams. I failed at being a worthy daughter for more than a few weeks. I failed at leaving things on good terms with my father. I failed at protecting my family. I failed at being selfish and running away when I had the chance, like I should have. I failed at giving my best friend the credit she had deserved; I had always seen Keiko-chan as inferior and unworthy, even though she had gotten everything I had ever dreamed of. I had failed at being a sister worthy of sticking around for. And, in the end, I had failed at survival. No matter how hard I tried to withstand, through the pain and torture and merciless flames, I had failed.

So, with the flames tight on my heels, I finally curled into myself to wait for death to come. I cradled my arm, held my knees close to my chest, and leaned as far back into the wall as I could. I could feel the flames getting hotter and hotter, and knew it would only be moments before they overtook me. And the last thing I thought was something along the lines of: _It will all be better, in the end… _I figured that was true, for how could I have lived with myself if I did survive? Knowing that I failed to protect my family and friends, and they were all dead now, how could I go on living with myself? No, this was definitely better. Everyone who had told me that had been right. They were all dead now, so it was only appropriate that I should be too. I had to remind myself as I folded even further in to my own subconscious mind: _You failed. Everyone you ever loved is dead now._

Well, all but one.

I gasped in shock as a great blast erupted from behind me, sending me flying face first into the wall of flames. The wall exploded behind me as if someone had stuck a paper bomb to it. I flew into the air for a few seconds, breathing in the thick smoggy air, before falling back to the flaming earth. But, just as quickly, a great gust of air swept through the entire room, engulfing the flames just as easily as the flames had engulfed the room. I blinked in shock as I fell towards the now fire-less ground. I was so shocked that I didn't even realize what was happening. All I could comprehend was that I was falling towards the ground at an alarming rate. At least the flames were gone, I thought. This way, at least, the fall wouldn't hurt nearly as much. But then, just as I braced myself and closed my eyes for the fall, I was no longer falling. Wherever I was, it was warm, but not in the uncomfortable, frightening way that I had been before. This warmth was welcomed and familiar, though I didn't know or understand why it was so. I just knew that wherever I was it felt safe, and that's all I cared about. I didn't open my eyes, afraid that this wonderful delusion would dissipate before my eyes. I relished in the warm feeling that surrounded me and let it envelop me as I drifted away in my mind. I didn't care where I was, so long as if felt safe and warm.

Only, there was some part of my mind deep in my subconscious that was telling me to open my eyes. I didn't want to though! I didn't want to know where I was or have this wonderful feeling disappear with the truth... which, at the moment, was a rather grim prospect to consider.

And I did consider it greatly, the possibility that I was dead. I had to be dead. There was no way I could switch so suddenly from enormous pain and unimaginable terror to comfort and safety without it being some kind of spiritual separation from my body. This had to be heaven, if I even deserved to be here. This had to be some kind of paradise that would ease me away from the pain and suffering that had been my life. No more pain, no more fear, no more suffering...

Now that I thought about it, however, my pain _hadn't_ gone away; the flames were gone, but my arm still hurt like nothing else I had ever felt. I didn't think heaven would have the pain of bodily injury anymore. The pain made me more aware of what was going on. The throbbing made my mind awake from the peaceful cloud it had drifted of to, and it realized now that I was moving. Well, it wasn't that _I_ was moving particularly, but that the ground beneath me was moving. I felt around my body, trying to determine what was going on without opening my eyes. The warmth around me, I now realized, was someone's arms. Someone was carrying me. I didn't know who it was or where I was going, but I didn't care at the moment. As long as I was no longer in those forsaken flames any more, I was all right. Whoever this was could kill me themselves, as long as I wouldn't burn to death slowly in the fire.

I drifted off into my exhausted, worn subconscious as my savior traveled, but soon realized I was no longer in my savior's arms. I felt a cool, soothing breeze that felt amazing after being locked in a fiery oven for so long. I didn't mind that I was lying on the soft, wet grass. Even if I was left here to die, being picked clean by animals was better than being burnt alive. I sighed and felt the soft grass under my right hand, unable to feel the tips of my left hand's fingers anymore. Without thinking about it, I opened my eyes to the world around me, not caring what I saw anymore. What I did see was beautiful though; a million stars shone above me, not caring about the gruesome deaths that were occurring just below their endless dominion. It was actually _too_ beautiful, on a horrid night like this. But at the moment I didn't care.

I closed my eyes, breathing in the scent of the forest around me. When I heard a sudden, piercing whistle cut the silence, my whole body froze in shock. I hadn't realized there was anyone with me still. I listened intently as a flap of wings responded to the whistle.

"_Good, Hayato..._ I need you to take this for me." There was a shriek from what I assumed to be a very large bird from the previous sound it had made. "Ssh, now, good boy. I know you don't like being a messenger hawk, but you'll have to make due for the time being. Take this at once to Konohagakure, you got that? The hidden leaf village, to the west... alright, off with you!"

There was another great flapping of wings as the bird took off. I supposed it was taking a message for the mystery person. Said person murmured to himself with a great intake of break. "_Kami help us_. Reinforcements are long over due, but I can't think of anyone else who would be willing to help the village, much less myself. I can't search the village alone, though..."

I froze in shock again as the voice drifted to me. The voice was a gruff, deep male tone, but it was distinctly familiar. I _knew_ that voice, so well, I wouldn't have thought it had been absent from my life for so long. I could feel more hot tears streak my face as I spoke the words I had been longing to for five years now. "Z-zuo... n-nii-kun?"

My voice was weak and brittle from inhaling so much smoke, but I knew he had heard me. I could tell because the moment I spoke, there was absolute silence coming from where I could feel he was moments before. I supposed he hadn't realized I was awake, because he seemed just as shocked to hear me as I was to hear him. When a large mane of crimson red hair intercepted my view of the beautiful stars, I inhaled sharply. I didn't care that I couldn't see the stars, because nothing was more beautiful than this. It _was_ him. He was obviously different, but my brother was here; right in front of me, even if he was hidden behind the mask of a stranger. And, now that I took the moment to observe every detail of his face as if he would disappear in only moments, I realized he looked practically like a stranger. His spiky, red hair had grown out until it surrounded his face like a lion's mane. His endless, slate-gray eyes were the same as I remembered them, but the right one was cut diagonally across the middle by a huge, ragged scar. I didn't want to know how he got the scar and I didn't care that I was still in intense pain—I was just so glad to see him.

As he peered down into my face, a slow smile crept over his. When he smiled, I couldn't help but smile too. This _had_ to be heaven, I thought. Otherwise, how could I feel so happy after everything that had occurred tonight? How could my presumably dead or much distanced brother have found me so suddenly, in the greatest time of need in my life? I chuckled to myself as I realized that this event actually had been just like that one years ago: my big brother took me in his arms when I was hurt and protected me. Defying even the greatest of odds, he had saved me. I was _safe_, and all because my brother had come back for me. All at once, then, I let all the emotions that I had had to subdue in such a panicked time come out; all the anger, fear, deep sadness, and overwhelming joy that had been building up now came out in my tears.

As the tears started to rapidly fall down my face, Kazuo's smile faded and a look of concern took its place. "Ssh, ssh, 'Shina... it's alright. You're ok. I won't let anything happen to you, I promise. Don't try to move, just look at me."

With his left hand he had seized my only good hand. He looked deep into my eyes, placing one hand on my hurt shoulder comfortingly. I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling of—ouch. I howled in pain, feeling my shoulder pop back into place. I squeezed his hand tighter, and he let me take my pain out on him that way. "Ssh...it's alright, 'Shina. Sorry 'bout that; your shoulder was dislocated. I had to put it back, and I figured I'd do it when you were still a little out of it. It hurts, I know, but it shouldn't be too bad now."

I gasped for air, realizing I hadn't breathed for that painful minute. As soon as the pain dissipated from my arm, I was crying again. Kazuo didn't like that. "Please, 'Shina, try to tell me what's wrong. I know you're still hurting; I called for medical and normal reinforcements, so there will be people here as soon as they can. I can help your wounds a little, but I warn you I'm not much of an expert at med—"

"_Y-you c-came back for m-me..."_ I cried, the words coming out as a whisper between my sobs. The worry in his eyes softened as he realized why I was so sad and relieved at the same time.

"Of course I came back for you. You're my little imoto-san." He chuckled, though his heart wasn't in it.

"I-I was s-so scared, nii-kun. I fought s-so hard to avenge Kenji-onii-san, then to protect o-okasan, and then to get out of the b-burning room. But no matter what I did I wasn't good enough..." I stammered out, closing my eyes against the painful reminder of my lost family. I felt his hands run over my ravaged arm, and suddenly the remaining pain there was lifted. It felt like a river of cool, soothing water was rushing through the fire in my veins. I looked up in shock, watching my brother's blue chakra covering my arm. "W-when did you learn how to use healing chakra?"

He chuckled at my shocked tone of voice. "You know instead of asking questions you could be thankful that I _do_ know how to use healing chakra."

"Thank you." I stammered out quickly, not wanting to bite the hand that was healing me. I watched in fascination as the long gashes that ran through the flesh on my arm slowly mended; the layers of dirty, bleeding muscle beneath my skin turned bright pink again instead of inflamed red. "But when did you learn how to use healing chakra?"

He laughed again, only this time it was genuine. There was still that lingering mystery to him—that sense that he'd seen more and experienced more in five years than I ever would, but there in his smile and in his eyes was the same brother I had known my whole life. He gave me an ambiguous answer. "Just another trick I picked up on the road."

My eyebrows knit together in frustration, sensing how he was purposefully giving me vague answers to my questions. Five years apart, a blood relation, and it felt like he couldn't trust me enough to give me real answers. I wanted to know what other "tricks" he was referring to and what this "road" was that he had taken, but I knew in my heart that it was a waste of breath. He was already so mysterious, and I figured that he would only avoid my questions if I voiced them.

Looking over the tattered remnants of my clothes, Kazuo laughed again. "Nice jacket, by the way."

I chuckled too, looking over at the ripped sleeve he was working around. The jacket, which had originally gone down to just above the bottom of my shorts, was now ripped along the bottom. The left sleeve was entirely ruined, most of it having come off under the floor boards in the burning building. Beneath it, just the tattered remains of the netting that had covered my fore arm survived. Kazuo had ripped what was left of the netting off as soon as he began his work on healing my arm. I used my one good arm to rub the back of my head sheepishly, which made him laugh. "Yeah, sorry about that… it's kind of ruined now."

"It's no problem, 'Shina. It would probably have been too small for me now anyway, so this one was yours." He laughed at my embarrassment, but I realized he was right. My older brother was a lot bigger than I remembered him; his shoulders were broader and he had muscles in places he hadn't before. He actually kind of looked _scary_, in a mysteriously intimidating way_._ "Dear _Kami_, how did you manage to get rusty nail fragments, wood splinters, glass, _and_ first degree burns on the same wound? I'm a ninja, not a miracle worker!"

My eyes widened in shock. "You can't save my arm?"

He saw my panicked expression and quickly changed his tone. "No, no, I didn't mean I _couldn't_. It's just going to take me a very long time and a lot of chakra… you know, things I can't really spare at the moment. But I have to get all this stuff out, or it will be at risk for infection, more damage, tetanus… and who knows what else."

"I'm sorry." I murmured, watching as little bits of debris and shards of glass were captured within the bubble of chakra around his hand.

"You're apologizing for hurting yourself? That's nothing to be sorry about." He quickly corrected me, his eyes narrowing in concentration as he working one of the deeper cuts. "It's the least I can do for my little imoto-san anyway."

I nodded, closing my eyes as they were weighed down my exhaustion. I let him heal me in silence after that, giving myself some much needed rest.

When my eyes blinked open, I expected Kazuo to still be at my side, tending to my wounds. But, upon further investigation, I was alone. My eyes widened, trying to make my mind become aware enough for me to assess the situation. The pain in my left arm was almost completely gone, fading from a burning explosion to a dull ache. I could tell that Kazuo had only done everything necessary, which left me with a bunch of horrid looking scabs instead of neat pink scars like most medical ninja could do. There, draped over my body like a blanket, was a much larger, much warmer, and much more intact jacket. This one was black and red, with just a thin strip of orange. I liked this one better, but it would also be huge on me. I stood up quickly, finally realizing what it meant that Kazuo was no longer next to me. I sat up quickly, which was a bad idea, based on the horrible head rush. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw his jacket-less form across the little clearing from me. He had a black sleeveless shirt on over a full covering of netting, which showed how muscular he had gotten over the years. From the looks of it, he was popping a few food pills to regain his chakra and strength. I watched in fascination, realizing how different he was from the boy I remembered.

It wasn't until he started walking away that I realized he was actually leaving me. I stood up quickly, shrugging into the huge jacket as I ran towards him. "Kazuo-nii-kun!"

He stopped in his tracks, and I saw him take a great intake of breath before he looked back to me. He nodded his head towards me briefly, before turning back away from me again. "'Shina-imoto-chan."

I gritted my teeth in frustration, hating how he had said my name like a goodbye instead of acknowledgement. Anger surged through me, replacing weakness and pain wherever it was in my body. I wouldn't let him go… not this time; not again. I made a quick hand sign, not caring that I barely felt a drop of chakra within me. "Wind style: Wind Vorte—"

Suddenly, Kazuo wasn't walking away from me anymore. He was right in front of me, holding both of my hands within one of his to prevent me from making the next hand signs. He chuckled calmly. "'Shina, go back to sleep. You're going to kill yourself, you crazy, suicidal little girl."

"I won't let you leave me here!" I yelled, looking him straight in the eyes as tears began to fall from mine. "Not again. You're all I have left Onii-san! I don't have anyone else. You can't leave me again. You can't leave me… you _can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you c-!"_

Before I knew it, he wrapped me in his arms comfortingly, probably trying to stop my hysterics. For just a moment, I let myself fall into his arms. I had missed him so much, it was hard not to let this moment last while it could. After a moment, however, my anger got to me again. Where my hands were trapped against his chest, I began to pound my fists into him. No matter how many times I hit him, he didn't seem to feel it, which only made me angrier. "Why did you have leave? Why do you _always _have to leave?"

He didn't answer me. Instead, he pulled me tighter into his chest, trapping my fists between us. On my back, I felt his hand surge with chakra that seemed to pore into my body, instantly relaxing me. My eyes widened in panic, and I stepped back away from him to stop whatever jutsu he had put on me. Whatever he had done, however, had begun to work already. I couldn't feel my legs beneath me anymore, and I began to stumble until I was falling. He caught me before I could tumble to the ground. "Ssh, 'Shina… calm down. I just gave you a little anesthetic to calm you down and help you sleep. Don't worry; I'm just going to see if there are any more survivors back in the village. I'll be back for you soon, 'Shina… don't worry. I'll come back for you."

He placed me gently back down into the soft grass before retreating again. I looked over at him from under my heavily lidded eyes. It was almost impossible to fight off the need to sleep, but I needed to look at him as he left me again. The tears ran down my cheeks as I realized how insincere his words had been. I pounded my fist into the ground with the little energy I had left and whispered. "_Liar."_

Just then he looked back to me, nodding his head towards me once more. I looked at him one last time from the little space I could see through, seeing something I hadn't noticed before: a headband. Around his neck, hanging loosely onto his chest was a shinobi headband. It couldn't be a whirlpool headband, for I knew father had had his old one. It was too far to tell what village the symbol was for. I didn't want to think badly of my brother, but there had been so much mystery surrounding him that I couldn't help but be a little suspicious. And, as my eyelids finally closed under the weight of exhaustion and the anesthetic, I had to convince myself that the symbol hadn't been that of the Rock Ninja.

**Soooo... whatdja think? 3 How I love Kazuoooooo... hahaha, except right now he's all shrouded in mystery. dun, dun, dun *cue mysterious music* Is he a rock ninja with a soft heart? Is he still good like Kushina hopes he is? You may never know! hahahahahaha *diabolical laughter***

**Stay Tuned for Chapter 7!**


	8. Trust

**It's been almost a year. I apologize for that, but there are many things that have contributed to this loooong absence from writing.**

**- Massive writer's block**

**- A crazy and super busy year**

**- The real Kushina Uzumaki**

**-_- I know I shouldn't complain, seeing as it his job to write the Naruto series, but couldn't the author have waited until I was done with my version? XD lol, don't know if you know this or not, but they finally revealed how Naruto's parents met in the series. For a long time, I was considering discontinuing the story because of this, but I figured it's fanfiction and I can write my own version of how they could have met. **

**So please tell me if you'd like me to continue on with the story, since I have reservations about whether or not I should.**

**-TG**

**read and review!**

* * *

Chapter 7-

At first, I had fallen into a deep slumber that could not have been disrupted if Kami had come down himself. Then, after what I assumed to be many hours later, a period of slow consciousness crept back into my mind. I was only aware of the outside world in flashes of sensation: the smell of pine, the feeling of the cool morning breeze as it drifted past me, the taste of the salty ocean air on my tongue, the sound of quiet footsteps in the crisp grass below, and the sight of the millions of stars melting away into the pink and orange hues of sunrise. They were all beautiful, wondrous senses that I would normally relish in using to their full advantage to take in everything nature had to offer—but not today. Today I had no desire to feel anything at all.

I didn't have to move my body to sense how stiff and unused it had become, and I knew instinctively that I had been asleep for at least a full day. The sunrise might have been the first my eyes had set their sights upon since that horrid night, but it was not the first sunrise my body had experienced. That odd anesthetic chakra, whatever it was that he had poured into me in a very large dosage, had been enough to keep me in a deep slumber even when I sensed the presence of others around me. I suppose that had been his point, anyway; to keep me cooperative and in one place until someone could take me off his hands. Being drugged and handed off from one person to the next made me feel used, for some reason I could not comprehend. I just knew instinctually that when I felt the presence of cool arms around me and the sensation of the ground no longer against my body, that it was not my brother. And- as much as I loathed admitting it- I shouldn't have expected anything less from Kazuo.

My heart tried to tell me that my brother would come back for me and that he put me asleep so I would be comfortable until he got back to get me once again. My heart sincerely tried to tell me that these whole five years my brother had been looking over me like my guardian angel, always at the ready to swoop in and save me when the time came. My heart laughed a hollow, unconvinced laugh that I would even _consider_ the other possibilities. But my mind was not as blissfully ignorant and delusional as my heart wanted to be. Because my mind told me what seemed like a much more likely reason behind my brother's mysterious actions. My mind told me what I feared the most: that, in the end, my brother was a traitor through and through. Though I didn't want to believe it, my mind was telling me the same thing the village people had been saying for years prior to this event and after the night that the Great Whirlpool fell.

They had all thought my brother was a cowardly, treacherous snake that could never be trusted again, and it took every ounce of my slowly fading willpower to not let myself be convinced of such ghastly ideas. My mind told me a much more logical and grim explanation for everything that occurred on the night of the Great Whirlpool's destruction and the night of the Invasion. Maybe Kazuo didn't run _away_ from the Whirlpool village, but _to_ the Village Hidden in the Stones. Did they strike a deal with him that was too tempting to resist? What could they have offered him that made it alright to leave everything he had ever loved- his mother, his village, his home, his friends, his brother, his sister- behind? Could anything honestly be worth losing all of that? Obviously so, or he wouldn't have left in the first place.

And though I hated to even think about it, my mind was coming to terms with the prospect that the fact that I was still breathing might have been an accident. My heart had this wonderful fantasy created that included my brother rushing to save the day, fighting off hundreds of foes easily before he swept into my fiery fortress and whisked me away to safety once again. But in my mind, my fears had a much more prevalent influence on the possibilities. In my mind, the very breath in my lungs and the life in my body was a complete accident. In my mind, I was not supposed to be alive. In my mind, my brother had become a Rock ninja with every intention on destroying the village along with his new comrades. He set flames to homes, sweeping the lives away of everything it touched away until his home was nothing more than ashes. Then, as he passed the compound that he had lived in for almost twenty years of his life, he couldn't help but feel that ounce of remorse or guilt or whatever it was that had reminded him that he was still human. Maybe, with one last surge of guilt, he had burst into the destroyed compound in hope that maybe he could save anyone left. But there hadn't been anyone left, save one. And the fact that I hadn't been killed by the fire was purely by chance, so his saving me was so as well.

I had never had much imagination, but the way my mind could warp and create these complicated, yet horribly realistic scenarios in my dream-like state terrified me. That's why, after my mind had slipped into some state of dream-like consciousness, I tried desperately not to dream at all. I didn't want to dream, because everything my mind could conjure were horrible nightmares full of sadness and fear and, more than anything else, fire. I dreamed of flames constantly—burning, charring, incessant flames that consumed me like it did everything else. I was physically safe from the fires that had trapped me before, but my mind was still back in that burning room, scrambling to find an exit while knowing deep inside that there was none.

So, instead of sleeping, I kept my mind and body aware of everything going on around me, even though I didn't want to feel anything. Feeling was better than burning. _Anything_ was better than burning. Time passed around me, but my body seemed frozen in place. I saw the sunrise, felt the arms wrap around me and carry me off to places unknown, but my mind wasn't there. The footsteps that I felt around me and beneath me were hurried; running. I listened to the voices around me, but didn't open my eyes to put faces to the names and voices I heard. I didn't want to.

"Did you _see _that back there? I've never seen something like that in my life." One deep, gruff voice said from beside me. This was not the one carrying me, but it seemed like he was close by, running as well.

"Sure did. I don't think anyone within a mile missed _that_! Lucky dogs if they did miss it though… I was on the cliff side when it happened! When I saw it coming, it scared the life right out'a me! Don't think I've ever run so fast in my life. I'm _still_ shaking." Another gruff voice exclaimed in response to the first, though his was a bit higher pitched—maybe from fear, based on what he had said before. I had no clue what they were talking about, and was glad I didn't. I didn't need any more fear. I'd had enough for one lifetime now.

"It _was_ horrible. I hope none of our men were hurt…" Another voice trailed off, his tone laced with his worry. This voice was much smoother than the others, sounding smooth as velvet in comparison. It wasn't as deep as the first, but still it was low and masculine. As he spoke, I could feel the vibrations in his chest, seeing as it was pressed against my side. This was the voice of the person who was carrying me. So far, there were three men, and another set of footsteps from the sound of it belonging to someone who had yet to speak. The thudding of the footsteps wasn't a good indication as to whether the mystery person was male or female, seeing as all ninja could make their footsteps silent if need be.

"Nah, not our guys. You heard Tamaki; he was out by the cliff side. That's the farthest our guys went, so if he got away so did everyone else. 'Sides… most of our guys' jobs were to search the area, see if anyone survived the ambush. As soon as we got there I could tell that place was empty, but if it wasn't before it sure as hell is now." The first voice said, and now I couldn't help but have a bit of grim curiosity. The pain of finally having my loss spoken out loud gripped me as the man spoke, but the knowledge they seemed to almost purposefully not say aloud was killing me: what had happened to the poor village now?

"Say, Tamaki, now that I think about it… why _were_ you out by the cliffs? You knew what our mission was, and you knew it didn't have to go past the forest line." The first voice spoke in a chiding manner.

"Well, ya'see, I got curious. This is the Land of Whirlpools, correct? And this is the _whirlpool_ village, correct?" There were a few curious grunts in confirmation. "Then where are all the whirlpools?"

There was a long pause as the question sunk in around them. Finally, the mystery person spoke in a quiet, masculine voice. "I didn't go past the forest, because I actually tried to complete _our_ mission as directed. But from what I've heard, the Land of Whirlpools is rather small; the majority of its land goes to farming and fishing. Up north there are supposedly many whirlpools, but they put the foundation for their shinobi village here because of an enormous whirlpool- the largest recorded in history in fact- that the whirlpool people considered a holy place. However, it was destroyed five years back, and no one really knows how. The rumors say it was some rogue ninja, though that is heavily disputed."

There was another long period of shocked silence, which I probably would have joined had I not been in my odd state of half-consciousness. It was very odd to hear someone who hadn't spoken suddenly spout a long stream of information as if he was reading it straight from a book. Finally, the second one, who I assumed was Tamaki, spoke. "Well, sorry for bein' curious! The mission was completed was it not?"

The brainy one spoke again. "Well I'm not sure, really. I wasn't the one who found her, obviously. Are we just assuming this is her?"

"Don't worry, Hiro." My carrier spoke, his smooth voice once again reverberating in his chest beside me. "This is her. The letter said where she'd be, and that is exactly where I found her. She hadn't even moved."

I processed what my carrier had said in shocked silence, not that I really was able to speak anyway. Their mission had been to find me? And the letter they spoke of had been Kazuo's? The fear in my heart that still obsessed with how much Kazuo still cared for me distilled a bit, knowing that my brother had taken special measures to make sure I'd be found.

"So… who do you think she is? It's a little odd that we were specifically ordered to find this girl. She must be important." The first voice said in a curious tone, filling the silence that had settled around the group.

"I was shown the letter when I received the mission order. Apparently the letter was an anonymous call for help, saying that the Land of Whirlpools had been invaded by the Hidden Stone shinobi and desperately needed assistance. It warned that there were probably still Rock ninja raiding the northern part of the county, and that the little ninja village was completely destroyed. Most of our guys were sent to find the enemy ninja, and the rest of them were sent to look for survivors. We were specifically assigned to find this one particular girl, however there wasn't much about her in the note. All it said was: _you will find a surviving whirlpool girl in the forest to the south of the village. She is hurt—bring her to get medical treatment and make sure she is well taken care of. _There was no name, and the falcon that carried the message did not belong to any village. It left immediately after the message was delivered…" My carrier spoke in a soft, worried tone of voice as he tried to work out the mystery of my brother's note. So Kazuo _had_ specifically called for someone to find me, but that did not allay the hurt I felt having him abandon me once again.

"She doesn't look all that hurt to me." Tamaki said in that curious tone of voice that seemed to characterize him. "Her left arm seems to be the worst; can't figure how she got a bunch of wounds that look like _that._ Plus it looks like her legs got a little burnt, but- if you ask me- she's a lot better off than the rest of her village is… especially after _that._"

"Yes." My carrier agreed in a hushed, ominous tone of voice. "It is quite lucky that she is alive, even if she is injured. It makes me wonder how she managed to escape. When the note said we were looking for a girl from the whirlpool village, I had been expecting to find a young _child,_ not a young woman. She is wearing ninja clothes, yet she has no head band. She is a mystery."

"Yeah…" The first voice said in slightly awed tone. "But you gotta admit; she's a looker. Her ninja clothes are ruined and there's no head band, but she's dressed like she is one. Looks too soft though—not sturdy enough to be a kunoichi. You think she's nobility?"

"Highly unlikely." The brainy one corrected quickly. "The Whirlpool Village was brand new and highly under developed, so they had rather traditional practices. Up until a few years ago, no women from the founding families were allowed to be ninja. Since then there's only been two who graduated from the Ninja academy: a young girl from a branch of the Uzumaki family and her sister. If she's part of the Uzumaki or any other highly ranked family, which included most of the village, she was not a ninja."

The brainy one was referring to the girl who had been my best friend and distant cousin: Keiko Uzumaki, the first Kunoichi of the Uzumaki family, and her sister, Kimi. Even now, it pained me to think it. I wished I was in a state of awareness of my body that allowed me to control it, for I felt like kicking myself. How could I still harbor that grudge against Keiko for taking the title that had felt rightfully mine? How could a little part of me still envy her, wish for what she had, when Keiko was _dead? _I was being ridiculously, idiotically selfish. Keiko was dead. I repeated that in my mind until it sunk into my brain. Keiko was dead, and I was alive. I should be grateful that I was accidentally saved, title or not. Because why did that title matter now? What good was being a shinobi of the Whirlpool Village when there _was_ no Whirlpool Village anymore? There never would be again. There would never be another Whirlpool shinobi, and there most definitely would never be a kage of the village I had loved. Everything I had ever striven for and dreamed of was gone; reduced to nothing more than ashes, just like my home, family, and friends—and like I should have been.

I tried to curl into myself, to try to get rid of the pain of guilt eating away at my heart, but I froze in panic when I realized that my body had responded to my attempts. Unlike before when I had been able to hear but not to see or feel my own limbs, I could control my body now. That's why, this time when I tried to stir, the body surrounding me froze very suddenly.

"Did she just move?" The first voice said in response.

"She did." My carrier said. "Do you think we should stop to set up camp and let Hiro heal her if she needs it?"

"That sounds like a good idea. I'd like to see if there's any internal damage. It said she was wounded, yet I see nothing severe. It worries me. There might be something beyond the superficial that I can't ascertain from just observations." Hiro said, generally sounding worried for the first time since I had first heard him speak.

A little while later, I was lying perfectly still once again on the ground, only this time there was a soft sleeping bag beneath me. I was completely conscious now though, but I didn't want to be just yet. I didn't want to feel anything, yet all sense of numbness had left my body. My thoughts and senses came back to my fully, but so did the guilt, multiplied by the shear clarity of my mind. I heard sounds of the others setting up camp around me, pitching tents and laying out sleeping bags. Then, after a little bit of time, they had a fire going. And- quite suddenly- I didn't want to be anywhere near to their camp any longer.

Without further delay, my eyes shot wide open and got the first glimpse of my surroundings. We were in a thick forest, probably already in the Land of Fire from the looks of it. The forests around my lost home were never this vast or dark. I sat bolt upright, briefly meeting the eyes of my company as they gathered around the fire. Then my eyes glanced over the whipping, yellow flames in the center and my whole body seemed to spasm with anxiety. I could barely feel my legs, but I managed to quickly get myself on them. I scrambled in no particular direction, not knowing where I was going except that it was away from them. I was limping, heavily favoring one leg and my arm was still throbbing with pain, but I didn't stop. Not even when I heard those same voices yelling towards me or the sound of movement around me did I stop. Even when two pairs of large hands wrapped around my arms, I did not stop. I had to get away. I had to go back to what was left of the Whirlpool Village. My home was back there, and my family- though dead- still remained there. But they weren't letting me go.

"Woah, there, hold it Miss! It's alright! You're alright and you're safe!" I didn't listen to the man. I struggled against their strength as much as I could, but it was a feeble attempt. I opened my mouth, trying to remember how to speak.

"L-l-let m-m-me g-go!" I croaked in a hoarse yell, pushing as hard as I could to get out of their grasps. It seemed like they were actually having some difficulty, but probably only because they didn't want to hurt me.

"Miss, please stop struggling, everything is going to be fine!" I recognized this voice as Tamaki. I shook my head frantically, pushing even harder now. I tried to argue once more, but my voice choked off in a sob. Frustrated tears were streaming down my face as I struggled with them.

"Hiro! Get over here and sedate her!" At this, I pushed even harder against them. I actual managed to break free from one of them, but the other was too strong. "Holy Kami! For someone who's been injured, this girl's strong! Some help would be nice!"

Another man joined the frantic struggle, and I heard the sound of buzzing medical chakra come towards me quickly. I trying kicking out in front of me, but it was no good—my legs were still in bad shape. I pushed backwards this time, finally breaking free of the last man's grasp but now going in the opposite direction that I wanted to go. I could still see the fire back at the camp, and my eyes widened in fear. Fire… burning… everyone I knew… _dead_…

I had to get away from here. However, the fire was obstructed from my vision by a different sight. One of the men had stepped in front of me. He stood perfectly still with his arms slightly outstretched, as if waiting for me to fall but not making the motion to grab at me just yet. I looked at him suddenly; glad that I could no longer see the glow of the fire. The man was taller than me by about a foot, and it seemed even more so because of a shock of spiky blonde hair on the top of his head. He was thin, but he was very muscular—as I could clearly see by the fact that he was only wearing a fish-netting shirt over his torso. His face was very calm as he looked down at me, his blue eyes sparkling in the little bit of moonlight that filtered through the trees. Looking at him made me relax a little bit, but then I heard the buzz of medical chakra beside me moving closer. I flinched, the tension in my body returning just as quickly as it had left.

The man who was in front of me wore an annoyed expression suddenly, and gestured towards the sound. "Hiro, turn that off. You're just making matters worse."

I heard the sound cease quickly, and my body relaxed a little more. The man's voice was familiar and comforting, and I realized he was the man who had carried me here. Tears still ran down my face silently, but I wasn't sobbing anymore. The three men around us seemed tensed with anticipation of what I'd do next. The man in front of me looked serene and watched me patiently. After a long minute without anything happening, I took a few tentative steps backwards. The man seemed to want to move forward as well, but he didn't. I turned around quickly and tried to rush forward. There was a yellow blur, and I froze as I saw him in front of me once again. I looked over my shoulder, completely confused now. How had he moved so quickly? When I glanced behind me, I saw the fire there again and my body went rigid once more. I rushed forward without thinking about it and ran straight into the man's chest, not even budging him in the process. His hands instantly braced me by the shoulders, and I looked up into his face desperately.

"P-please." I uttered in a hoarse whisper. "L-let m-m-me g-go."

His eyes tightened as if he was rather unwilling to disappoint me, but he shook his head no. Without being able to stop it, a sob burst from my throat. I winced against the oncoming tears and shook my head. "P-p-please!"

He winced as well, as if I was hurting him too. He held me tighter in his hands and muttered, "Tell me how I can help you; something I can do for you besides letting you go back unprotected."

I looked up at him, a little incredulous, but spoke. "T-t-take me a-a-away… f-from here. S-somewhere i-in the o-o-open… s-somewhere c-c-cold."

He nodded and seemed to relax a bit. "Wait one moment please."

Before I could respond, he had bolted towards the camp. I waited, dumbstruck, until he came back holding a black and blue jacket and the sleeping bag I had been sleeping on previously. He wrapped the jacket around me and plucked me off the ground before I could protest. He started moving deeper into the trees, away from the camp. As an afterthought, he glanced over his shoulder and yelled out to his comrades. "We'll be back soon enough. Go ahead and start making some food and finish setting up."

I got one last look at the disbelieving faces behind us before the trees blocked my view of them. To my relief, I realized I could not see the camp or the fire either. My body instantly relaxed now that I was away from the flames. I sunk deeper into the man's arms and into the cushioned sleeping bag that he had in his arms under me. He ran for a long time, long enough for me to drift back into my subconscious for what seemed like a few moments. When I opened my eyes again, however, we were in a very different place. We were beside a huge rock formation on the side of a tall mountain- one that I hadn't been able to see among the trees. The starts shone above clearer than I had ever seen them in the cloudy skies of my home. The moon was bright and full, illuminating everything below it and casting a white-blue tint on everything its light touched.

I looked at the man carrying me as he set me on top of a flat rock on top of the sleeping bag with his jacket wrapped around my shoulders. When I was settled, I pulled the jacket a little tighter around my shoulders, realizing just how well he had fulfilled my request of him. The night was frigid up on the mountain, but the cold was wholly welcome. My skin felt like it was charred

I realized he still had not adorned a proper covering for his torso, which gleamed pale white in the moonlight. I looked up at him expectantly, thinking he must be freezing. He didn't shiver, however, nor did he look back at me. He looked up at the moon as if it were telling him a very interesting story, one that he seemed to be deeply engrossed in. When he finally did look at me, a hint of a smile lit his face.

"Is this better?" He asked, looking at me as if he was reliant upon my answer. I nodded feebly, my eyes going wide with the sudden break in the silence. "Good. Will you do me a favor then? Stay here for a moment. I'll be back in a flash."

I didn't like the idea of being left here alone, but before I could protest he was gone. He had whipped a three-point kunai knife out of a belt around his waist, stuck the kunai into the rocky ground beside me, and had disappeared in a flash of yellow light. I drew the jacket around me, thinking he might have found a place that was little too perfect. I left my legs sprawled out in front of me, though, despite the relentless chill. There were pink scars up and down my legs from the partially healed burns. Despite the very much closed wounds, the scars burned. The pain was barely substantial, more like the memory of pain than actual pain. The memory was strong though- strong enough for me to feel the burn as if the fire was still flickering across my bare flesh. The cool air was like dipping my hot skin in a vat of ice; painful but numbing. Soon enough, I couldn't feel the burning incessantly but as a numb throbbing in my calves and ankles. Goose bumps rose across my exposed flesh, which I realized was a lot more than I had initially had when I had put these clothes on. I had been wearing a pair of tight-fitting shorts and half-shirt with a covering of only fish netting that had gone down to my knees and the creases in my elbows. With a jacket over me when I had adorned these clothes, the overall effect hadn't been too revealing. However, now, with the left shoulder of the tiny shirt ripped away as well as the entire left side of the fish netting, only the torn right shoulder was keeping my shirt around my body. The netting that covered my stomach was torn as well, now detached from the shorts. The bottoms of the netting on my legs were still intact, but melted into a charred ring around my knees.

I looked at the kunai the man had left in the ground beside me. My kunai pouch had been removed from my waist, or it had fallen in the chaos. Maybe he left it there so I could protect myself… maybe he realized I was a ninja, despite his comrades' previous arguments. Hesitantly, I reached out for the kunai and plucked it from the ground. It was very odd; three ends and much heavier than normal ones. I didn't think it would have been possible for me to fight with it, but it was useful enough for what I needed it for. I slipped the middle blade in between the netting and my knees, pulling upwards to remove the tightened, charred material. When I lifted the kunai back to my eye-level, however, something terribly odd occurred. The metal glinted off of no particular light source, and suddenly- with a whooshing sound- my carrier was back… and on top of me. He hadn't been expecting to land there, I figured, so he scrambled to not lose his balance before quickly removing himself from over me. In one arm he carried two bowls, but the other quickly reached up to rub the back of his head in embarrassment. The whole scene was rather humorous, in spite of my current feelings.

I giggled unwillingly, unable to hold back the laugh. He looked down at me in shock, but smiled when he realized what had happened. "My sincere apologies, Miss. That is not how I intended to land, I assure you. The kunai you have there…" He pointed to the one I held in my hand. "It helps me travel from place to place very, very quickly. There's one back at camp, and you have the other one. Wherever the kunai is, I land."

I looked down at the curious thing for a minute, not responding to his explanation. I suppose he hadn't left the kunai for me to protect myself, but for his return. Why that made me upset, I don't know; maybe everything could upset me in my current state.

Seeing my sudden shift to sadness, he quickly tried to appease me. "Not that it's your fault! I mean—" He laughed nervously, almost awkwardly. "You're welcome to use it. You can have it if you'd like…"

I looked up at him suddenly, and held the kunai a little tighter, almost possessively. There was little I owned anymore. I didn't have a home, any friends or family, weapons, or any clothes to my name besides the ones on my body (not including the borrowed jacket). It felt nice to have something that was mine again.

"I brought food!" He said at last, to fill the silence that I had let linger between us. "Tamaki makes a pretty good stew, I think."

He held the bowl out toward me, but I didn't take it. I still held the kunai close to me, and I could sense his apprehension at that. Perhaps he thought I would suddenly kill myself with it. Kami knows I had every reason to want to be dead. Everyone I knew was dead, and I should be too. Really, it would have been easy to just end it all right there. I was too much of a coward though. I believed in divine punishment after death, and I didn't want to face the wrongs in my life just yet. I couldn't. There were too many to count.

Finally, the man placed the bowl beside me. My body was racked with pains, but hunger was not one that I paid any attention to. I looked up at the bright moon while he ate. Between bites, he attempted to make conversation. "If you don't mind, may I ask your name?"

When no answer came, he continued. "Well, my name's Minato. Minato Namikaze."

Still, I did not answer, though I listened intently. "…Ok, well, I'm Minato. I'm 20 years old. I'm a jounin of the Leaf Village. People call me "the Yellow Flash of Konoha," because of my hair and my teleportation jutsu. Just recently, I was given a genin team to train. I don't know how I feel about that yet. There are two boys and a girl. Obito, Kakashi, and Rin. Obito seems like a very nice kid, but he's a little sensitive and constantly makes excuses for himself. Kakashi is brilliant and highly skilled for his age, but incorrigible and rather cold towards everyone and everything. I don't think I can really blame him though… he lost his father to the world of Shinobi. I can relate to him there. And Rin? Well, Rin is very smart, though a little ditzy and girly. She's obsessed with Kakashi, who barely knows she exists, but doesn't realize that Obito seems to be rather infatuated with her." He chuckled to his self. "The funny part is I've only met them once so far. They're a very predictable and easily-read bunch, if you ask me. Let's see, what else… Oh, yeah. I've had the same dream since I was thirteen or fourteen years old: to be Hokage of the Leaf Village."

I looked into his eyes quite suddenly, not believing what I was hearing. I shook my head in disbelief, but ignored the feeling. I had to stop myself from thinking of my own dream, because I had to accept the fact that my dreams didn't exist anymore. I looked down to my kunai again in shame. "Do you—do you think I'm a shinobi?"

He looked up at me mid-bite, and swallowed his stew in shock. "Yes!" He coughed, clearing his throat again as if to hide his enthusiasm. "I think you are. You don't have a headband, yet you're dressed like one. My teammates think you're nobility, but that that would mean it would be impossible for you to be a shinobi, apparently. Even if you are nobility, I think you could still be a shinobi."

I nodded silently, but didn't respond more than that. If he wanted to think that, he could. But I knew now that I was not a shinobi. I could learn every jutsu known to man and be the strongest person in the world, but it would not make me a kunoichi. A shinobi is brave and fearless—I was a fearful coward. I was not worthy to be a shinobi of any village, not even the one I left behind in ashes.

"I don't know why…" He started, looking down at his bowl solemnly. "But I feel horrible when you cry. You remind me of someone…"

I hadn't even realized that I was crying, but now I wiped away the tears out of anger and embarrassment. I was so weak.

"I-" His lips pressed together in a thin line, as if he were scared to say the wrong thing. "I think I know how you're feeling… at least somewhat. I can't imagine what you've been through, but I lost my entire family when I was thirteen. My parents were killed on a mission, and my sister- eighteen at the time- left to seek vengeance, but never came back… I've never really talked to anyone about it. I know it's pretty much impossible to not feel this way, but I don't want you to think that you're alone. That's the worst feeling in the world, I know. Whether or not you ever want to talk about it, I don't want you to feel like there's no one you can trust."

I laughed humorlessly. "And how are you so sure that you can trust me? You come forward with your silly crooked smile and sad eyes and tell me all your deepest darkest secrets like we're old friends… but what if I'm not who you think I am? What if I'm a rock ninja? What if I was sent on purpose to infiltrate your village from the inside? What if I'm—what if I'm a murderer?"

I choked on the word, trying not to think about the people I had killed or the family I had let be murdered.

He smiled ruefully, "Are you?"

"N-no." I sputtered. "But I could be."

He looked away from me again to peer at the moon, the same rueful, crooked smile and sad eyes peering at the moon. "I can trust you."

* * *

**YAY! Minato! Hahaha I finally brought him into the story :) Tell me what you guys think, and please let me know whether or not I should continue...**

**Thanks!**

**-TG**


	9. Nothing

**Hey everyone :)**

**Well, it's been a while since the last update buuuut at least it hasn't been a year like the last update. hehehe, nervous laughter... moving on!**

**Originally, this chapter was going to be kind of filler-ish, something just for some background and boring info that had to be said. Not to mention, I rewrote the beginning oh... five times? First, it was Kushina's perspective while she was being brought into the Leaf Village (but I was so sick of talking about her as she was being carried along -_- ), then it was Kushina having a bad dream after she passed out (but the dream was too confusing, and a little weird, plus I still didn't want to write more Kushina-sleeping crap), then it was Minato's perspective of taking her into the village (but it did not capture Minato like I wanted it to) and finally you have this: which you will have to read to find out :) But I guess it's not that evil, considering that the chapter I'm referring to is like an inch or two away from this, plus no one really reads this author note stuff anyway! ;p **

**Even though this was supposed to be kinda filler-ish, I ended up making it much more important that I had originally anticipated because of my distaste for boring chappy's. **

**So, without further ado, enjoy!**

**-TG**

**Masashi Kishimoto still owns all Naruto characters and plotlines, if that wasn't obvious already. **

**P.S. this is actually IMPORTANT: **

**Minato POV ;)**

* * *

Chapter 8- Nothing

I don't know why I told her everything. I don't why I knew I could trust her. I just did. It was that simple really. It was strange that I felt this way, considering she was someone so unlike anyone I had ever seen. She was completely foreign to me, from her bright red hair to her ruined ninja clothing. Out of hundreds of missions, I had been to every single ninja village, whether enemy or ally, and I had been to quite a few smaller countries and villages. I could compare her to many people: similar red hair to that of the kazekage's lineage; the slate gray eyes of many stone villagers; the dialect of Uzu nobility; the soft facial features of my mother and sister… but none were really like her.

For one, she seemed very perceptive. She hadn't said much to me at all, not even her name, but I could tell that she always listened. When she did talk, what she did say was both vague and oddly intuitive—as if she could read through false exteriors like they were made of pure glass. How had she described me? _Silly crooked smile and sad eyes, _she had said. People called me many things—other ninjas called me unbeatable, the villagers called me a hero, the Iwa shinobi called me a murderer, Jiraiya-sensei called me uptight, three young children now called me sensei, and everyone else just called me the Yellow Flash of Konoha. But no one ever called me silly or sad. Most of the time, however, I felt that way. I saved many people, killed so many more, but with every praise I hardly ever felt like a hero. I did feel silly. I was applauded for killing, because I was good at it. I felt like a sham, being praised for being great at something so horrible. But that was the ninja way, and if it meant protecting the people of Konoha- the people I loved, the only family I had left- I would stop at nothing. Was I sad? Most of the time. She had definitely been right about that one. For the past 7 years since I had lost my family, I never felt whole anymore. The only thing that helped was protecting the village. I felt like I had to be able to protect someone, since I couldn't protect my parents or my sister. That was the only thing that ever helped fill the void in me. But no one ever saw that side of me, not even Jiraiya-sensei. No one had ever seen the sadness so clearly. No one… except her.

I guess it made sense though. It took intense sadness to notice intense sadness. Hers was obvious in her eyes. She had really lost everything: her home, her family, everything she had ever dreamed of probably. Sitting there, clutching my kunai as if her life depended on it and gazing at the moon as if it were her last friend on this earth, she reminded me so much of Manami, my sister. Physically, they looked nothing alike: short blonde hair and bright blue eyes versus infinitely long red hair and gray eyes. But in those eyes was the same look that Manami had had after our parents had died. The desperation, the loss, and the pain were the same. It hurt to look at her, especially when she cried. It was like watching my sister fall apart all over again, and I knew where a look like that led to. That was the look that had been on my sister's face just before she had left the village, against the Hokage's orders, to avenge our parents' death… Just before she had left and never come back.

At that moment, I made a decision to protect this girl whose name I did not know. I would protect her like I could not protect Manami. It was with this resolve that I made the hand signs necessary for my Flying Thunder God technique and transported myself directly from the living room of my apartment to the Hokage's office.

When I appeared in front of Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, he nearly fainted. "Dear Kami, Minato, must you always do that? You know, there is a front door."

"But then I wouldn't be able to see your face every time I pop in on you, Hokage-sama. It's just too much fun. Plus, no offense, but avoiding your secretary is best for my dignity." I cringed, thinking of the Hokage's rather forward secretary who made suggestive comments every time I had to come to the Hokage's office, which was often.

"One of these times, my Anbu guards are going to kill you for entering the Hokage's office unannounced. They kill first, ask questions later." The Hokage threatened, even though he knew that I knew differently.

"Your Anbu know my chakra, considering I've worked with all of them. Not only that, but they'd have to catch me first." I grinned wickedly.

"One of these days, I'm going to find where you hid your seal in this room." He swore, glancing around suspiciously as if the seal would suddenly reveal itself to him.

"Good luck, Hokage-sama." I retorted, knowing it would be nearly impossible. Most likely, he had been looking for my signature three-pronged kunai that I used for my original technique. However, this was just a tool for quick transportation. The actual seal I put on the kunai is what made the difference—the same untraceable seal I had hidden beneath the carpet on the floor of the Hokage's office. Sneaking into the office at night hadn't been as easy as I had anticipated, but the reward was worth the effort. Plus, I liked having seals throughout the village, in case of emergency.

The Hokage sighed in exasperation, looking up from his paperwork to acknowledge me. "Don't you have a mission to be on? Or, better yet, your new genin team to teach? I'm sure I've assigned you _something_ to do."

I laughed, knowing I didn't bother the Hokage nearly as much as he let on. He enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed bothering the old man every now and then. "I'm on leave since my last mission in order to train my new team, sir. I met them, I gave them the bell test, and they passed. I believe you have assigned them to find the daimyo's wife's cat this week…"

I swore I saw the Hokage smirk at that. "Shouldn't you be supervising that? It is your team's first mission."

I scoffed. "I hope you're kidding. Kakashi has been a chunin since he was six years old, if you recall. I believe his exact words were 'this is humiliating enough without you there to watch, Minato-sensei,' Rin agreed with Kakashi of course, and Obito swore he could do the entire mission on his own without any help at all. Charming bunch, they are."

"Maybe if their sensei was there with them they would learn to be a little bit more compatible." He suggested in that same annoyed tone.

"Uh huh, and how _are_ Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru getting along this days?" The stricken look on his face made me smirk triumphantly. Really, if anyone had taught me that you can't teach compatibility it was the Hokage. The only thing that had kept the trio from killing each other was their required team work during the second great ninja war, during which they had acquired their titles as the great Sannin. In the midst of the current war, however, Jiraiya-sensei had told me that they had found ways to help the war effort without really associating with each other. I wondered how poor Tsunade was doing… I hadn't seen her look happy since I was a child—not since her loved ones had passed away.

The Hokage interrupted my thoughts. "What do you want Minato? I have paperwork to take care of, new ninja recruits to miraculously conjure up, a war to finance and win, and a young refugee who just woke up from a two week coma to tend to."

The world seemed to dissolve around me at his words. "She's awake?"

"Yes." The Hokage eyed me suspiciously, probably questioning the tone of my query. I was usually so calm and collected that the urgency in my voice was foreign even to me. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go to the Hospital to see her. I have to go break all the gory details to her, unfortunately. It's a horrid job, but someone has to do it. It's best she hear it from me."

"Wait, Hokage-sama. Have you found out anything about her yet? Who is she?" The look on his face told me he was wary to tell me anything.

Seeing my apparent desperation, he sighed. "She's the last survivor of one of our ally villages, and this is confidential information, Minato. I can't just tell anyone who she—"

"Please, Hokage-sama." I asked—pleaded, really. "Since when am I just _anyone_?"

"Why must you know so badly, Minato?" He finally asked after a long, questioning look at me.

"I don't know what it is about her." I admitted, looking out the window towards the hospital as if I could see her through all the buildings between us. "I need to know who she is. She seems important. I feel like I have to protect her. I was the one who found her in the forest outside the village."

"Ah, that's right. Did you speak with her at all on your journey back? The mission report stated that you took her up the mountain. It said she panicked once she woke up, and asked to go somewhere away from the camp. What it didn't say, however, was what happened up there." The Hokage looked curious and suspicious, but he knew me too well to think my intentions had been anything but good.

I shook my head, thinking back to that night two weeks ago again. I had thought about it every day since then, sifting through the few words she had said to decipher something about her. It was insanely frustrating, given absolutely nothing to go on. I finally spoke, revealing one theory I had. "I think it was the fire."

"What?" He asked, confusion lacing his tone.

"I think she was afraid of the campfire. She went frantic as soon as she saw it. She only relaxed when she couldn't see it anymore. Then she asked to go somewhere cold, so I figured she didn't like the warmth. Hiro told me she had healing burns, so I bet she was trapped in one of the burning buildings. How she got out, however, is a mystery. She wouldn't tell me anything about herself, not even her name. I told her about myself a bit, but she fell asleep before I could find out anything about her." I explained, my eyes narrowing in frustration once again at the thought. I knew little to nothing about her, and I was sure the man in front of me knew something. He just had to tell me.

The Hokage nodded, satisfied with the information I had provided. "Fine, if you insist, I'll tell you what I know. But this is strictly between us. I don't want her pestered by the villagers."

"I wouldn't breathe a word of it to anyone, Hokage-sama." I promised, waiting in anticipation.

"Your teammate Hiro tells me she had been previously healed before he got to her, but by who we cannot be sure. We suspect that the person who healed her is the same person that sent us the letter requesting her retrieval. She had a dislocated shoulder, severe contusions on her left arm, and burns on her legs. We came to the same conclusion that you did, that she was probably trapped in one of the burning buildings at some point.

She woke a few hours ago. She won't eat, so they have to keep the IV in or she'll starve. She hasn't said a word since she woke up. She won't tell us who she is." The Hokage paused to watch me as I sighed.

"That, however, is not to say we know nothing about her. We've brought in every expert in ancestry studies and ninja village history to see if they can find out anything about her. There, we have not been unsuccessful. The jacket that Hiro had in his possession from healing her was unmarked by any family symbol, which is strange. Her clothes had the symbol of the Uzumaki family stitched into them, but this does not tell us much. That was the symbol of her family and entire village, as well as Konoha shinobi since the time of the Senju-Uzumaki alliance during the reign of the first Hokage. However, her appearance is so unique that her identity was not hard to discover. Only one family in Uzugakure was ever recorded to pass down the trait for bright red hair: the Kiyomizu family."

I shook my head. "I'm afraid I've never heard of the Kiyomizu family, Hokage-sama."

"You wouldn't have. They were not particularly memorable, and we believe most if not all were killed in the ambush of Uzugakure. The only thing they were highly skilled at was marrying off their daughters to important people. The only people of particular interest to us were Mito Uzumaki, the first Hokage's wife, whose mother was a Kiyomizu, and Akahana Kiyomizu, the wife of former village leader, Katsutoshi Uzumaki."

"Lady Senju has been dead for years, so I doubt that's relevant… You don't mean to tell me that that _young_ girl is supposed to be Akahana Uzumaki, first lady of Uzugakure?" I asked, thinking how odd that would be for such a young girl to be widowed already—she couldn't be more than eighteen years old. While it wouldn't be completely uncommon for such a young girl to be married to a much older man, especially in smaller villages, it didn't seem to fit in my mind with this particular girl.

"No, of course not. Lady Uzumaki was in her forties and had three older children. The first child was none other than Kazuo Uzumaki, the rogue ninja who supposedly destroyed the Great Whirlpool which the village was named after. He'd be about 26 now, I believe. The second child, Kenji Uzumaki, was to become village leader after his father died weeks ago. Having been at the Uzumaki compound during the attack, we're almost certain he is dead. However, the third child was the only daughter in the entire main branch of the Uzumaki family: Sixteen year old Kushina Uzumaki."

"And you think this is her?" I asked, praying it was. I might finally have a name to put to the face that had been haunting me for weeks.

"Almost certain. The physical description and age are exactly the same, and the urgency of her salvation would make sense. She is the Uzumaki princess. If anyone could have been saved it would be first their leader, then her." If the Hokage was certain, so was I. Everything he said seemed right about her: she looked like nobility, talked like nobility, but then again she dressed like a kunoichi…

Thinking of this, I asked the question which I thought I knew the answer to. "Was she a kunoichi?"

The Hokage shook his head. "No, she was not. According to our records, she was one of two girls to take advantage of the decreased restrictions on women and go to the Academy. However, before she could graduate, her father put the ban back on women of the main branch. Why do you ask?"

"Well, her clothes were Kunoichi. Also, one of the few things she asked me was if I thought she was a shinobi." The Hokage adorned a pensive face similar to mine. He looked at me as if a nebulous idea was coming together in his mind. "What is it, Hokage-sama?"

"In just the few minutes she was conscious on your return trip you got her to say more than we have in hours…" The Hokage stated, still looking at me with that same expression.

"Yes, sir. She did say quite a bit more, but it was mainly questions about me. She revealed little to nothing about herself, I'm afraid." I said, understanding where he was going with this and counting on that.

He _hmm_ed quietly, never taking his gaze from me. "Maybe it is best you come with me."

I nodded solemnly, but on the inside I was celebrating. The two of us transported away from his office, and I was grateful for that. Normally the Hokage liked to walk, but he knew my aversion to exiting or entering his office through the door. Soon we were in front of the hospital, where I could sense at least a hundred chakra signatures; some weak and frail and some vital and strong. I found the one that I recognized as the girl I had carried all the way from Uzu, and my heart constricted as I realized how weak it had become. The Hokage walked calmly into the hospital, and I followed as we were immediately led up to where I could sense she was.

The nurse opened the door allowing us to enter. The hospital room was the same as it had always been: plain white cot, window with no curtains, bedside table that held the patient's belongings. On the table, I saw the tattered clothes she had been wearing and- atop the pile- the three-pronged kunai I had given her. When I finally set my eyes on the cot, what I saw made me stop dead in my tracks. It was the girl, only she looked even more broken than before. The tiny and frail girl in a hospital gown looked like a completely different person. Her bandaged arms were wrapped around her knees, rolling herself in a ball as if she wanted to become even smaller. Her head rested against the wall beside her. Her long red hair fell from her shoulders to settle in limp pools beside her. Her eyes were pointed out the window, but they didn't _see_. The light had receded from her gray eyes, leaving just a shell of a person in its place.

I stood beside the door, allowing the Hokage the space to approach her without me hovering by. He stopped just before her bed, but she did not acknowledge his presence whatsoever.

"Hello." The Hokage began. "My name is Hiruzen Sarutobi. I am the Hokage of the Leaf village. May I ask your name, Miss?"

She did not answer or move and the Hokage frowned. A deep voice from the corner of the room boomed, "The Hokage asked you a direct question, you—"

But the voice was cut off with a choking sound. I had darted across the room, my hand grabbing the collar of the Anbu guard's cloak and pulling the man to face me. He had been hiding in the wall under a jutsu, guarding the Hokage as he was supposed to do. As soon as I touched him, he became visible and my eyes narrowed as they peered into the eye-holes of his mask. I recognized him, as I would have recognized any other Anbu I had once worked with.

"Your post has stripped you of your manners, Naoki." I whispered in an eerily calm voice. "Hokage's guard or not, remember that you are speaking to a lady and that this is a hospital, not an interrogation room. Now leave."

Naoki looked over at the Hokage for instruction. "Do as he says, Naoki-san."

With that, the Anbu left and the Hokage sighed. "Was that necessary, Minato?"

"Yes." I answered, not looking at the man. Instead I looked at the girl, who had turned her head away from the window to watch me. There was no expression in her eyes whatsoever, but at least it seemed like she could see me. Following my gaze, the Hokage looked over at the girl again. His eyes widened in surprise.

"I promise, Miss, there will be no further interruptions like that." The Hokage promised, but she did not look at him. She turned her gaze from me to the wall this time, her eyes showing just the faintest trace of anger.

I sighed, knowing what she was looking at. Calmly, I requested, "Hokage-sama, maybe she will be more willing to talk with you if you were to ask your guards to stop staring at her like an animal in a zoo."

The Hokage looked over at the girl with a puzzled expression, probably wondering why a girl- who, by all his sources, could not be a kunoichi- could sense the presence of his most skilled Anbu guards. Only a very skilled shinobi could detect an Anbu, but I had already guessed that she was not everything the sources said she was. The Hokage made a signal in the air, and three Anbu guards appeared from the walls around the room. Two left, but one stayed.

"Hokage-sama," The remaining Anbu said. "One of us must stay with you, sir."

"I'll be fine, Yoshiki-san. I may not be as young as I once was, but I'm still quite capable of taking care of myself, thank you." The Hokage assured the man, though he still looked skeptical.

"I'll be here. I would put down my life to protect our Hokage, so you have no need to fear." I told him, which must have given him enough relief to leave. After he was gone and far enough away that even I could not sense him anymore, I saw the girl relax just slightly. She looked back out the window, ignoring our presence.

"I'm very sorry to bother you, Miss, and I'm truly sorry for your loss." The Hokage began. "The Land of Whirlpools has been our distant ally since our first Hokage married Mito Uzumaki so many years ago, and it pains me to see it fall. I'm afraid I must ask, do you remember what happened at all"

Without looking over at the man, she shook her head. Despite this gesture, something told me she knew something of what happened. "From our understanding, the purpose of this invasion by Iwa was to weaken our forces, starting from the smaller villages. Cutting off our imports of steel weapons and food products from your people deals a significant blow to both morale and efficiency. It is truly low that they would go to such lengths just to hamper our supplies, but that is war I'm afraid. The Iwa shinobi invaded at midnight, setting each house on fire before barring exit with their earth style jutsus. After they were satisfied with their work in your village, they moved up through the rural parts of your country and did the same there. When we arrived, I'm afraid the village was completely destroyed. We attempted to look for survivors, but I'm… I'm afraid the seismic activity caused by the massive amount of Earth style jutsu created a tsunami that wiped everything that was left there. Our ninja had to evacuate before they could do much help."

Through the entire retelling of the horrific event, I watched the girl's face for any sort of reaction. She had absolutely none until the tsunami was mentioned. Everything else she had known or guessed, I was sure, except for that. I suppose she wouldn't have known. I had found her before the Tsunami had begun, and didn't linger around after that. Tamaki had seen the wave when it had started a mile off shore, but I didn't see him until we met up halfway to Konoha. Having been unconscious for the better part of the past two weeks, I could see how she wouldn't have heard about it until now. A whimper had escaped her lips and the pain flashed in her eyes at the news, before returning to the dead stare out the window.

My eyes narrowed, like I was looking directly into the sun. It was really hard to look at her. Last time I had seen her, there had been _something_ there in her eyes. She had been in pain, yes. She had lost everything, and you could see the mourning in her expression. Now, though… there was absolutely _nothing_. The lack of emotion was so eerie that it was hard to convince myself that she was still alive. She could have been a puppet, only moving because she was attached to chakra strings. The sun filtered in through the window, but didn't seem to touch her face. She was a ghost.

"If I may be so bold," The Hokage said, clearly wishing to evoke some response. "Would you happen to be Kushina-hime of the Uzumaki family?"

Anger flashed suddenly in her eyes, which looked strange on her after such lack of emotion. For the first time, her mouth opened and she choked out a few words. "_Don't_ call me that."

So it was her. She _was_ the Uzumaki princess, as the Hokage had suspected. I finally had a name to call to associate with her.

"Well, Kushina-san," The Hokage amended the title without hesitation. "You are welcome in our village. When you are discharged, we will find you a suitable apartment funded by the village. You will get a monthly pension until you turn eighteen in little over a year, at which time we can talk about jobs you'd be suited for. For now, however, I will leave you. Once you are feeling better we will speak more, hopefully. And, should you ever have need of an audience with me, just state your name in my office—I'll make sure you are brought to me at once."

The Hokage looked pointedly at me, while still speaking to Kushina. "You should also know, I have requested that a citizen of Konoha show you around and look after you during your first few weeks. But we'll talk more of that when you're discharged."

I nodded, understanding what the Hokage was asking of me and silently relieved that he had picked me for the job. He looked back towards the girl, hoping she would respond in some way, but sighed when she didn't. With that, the Hokage left through the door with a defeated look on his face. He could tell it was no hope: The only things the girl (_Kushina_, I corrected in my mind) had said revealed nothing about herself. She watched us from the corner of her eyes, without turning her head away from the last place she had been staring.

Just as I was leaving, a small voice whispered, "Minato?"

I turned, trying to keep the shock and delight from my face. I hadn't been sure she could remember me. After such trauma and a long lapse from consciousness, I was sure some memory loss would be normal. She remembered me though. "Yes, Kushina-san?"

I turned, bowing my head in a sign of respect for the girl- the princess- before me. She looked at me, the dead look still plaguing her as she scanned my face. "Stay, please."

I looked into the hallway, seeing the Hokage frozen with one eyebrow raised in question. I signaled that he could leave, but I could tell I'd be pestered for details later. If I didn't, I was sure I'd have a Yamanaka probing my brain later for details, under some declaration that I was withholding important information from my Hokage. I gave the man I respected and served a look that told him he could trust me, before silently asking him to leave again. The Hokage couldn't deny that this young woman spoke more around me. Why? I wasn't exactly sure. But I was determined to find out.

I turned back into the room, walking to her bedside and sitting in the chair there. I leaned forward, casually placing my elbows on my knees and bringing my hands up by my mouth. I figured a casual posture would make her feel more relaxed around me. I looked intently at her, though she still peered out the window. Before I could even prompt her, she whispered, "How did he know?"

"He's the Hokage." I stated simply, knowing to what she was referring without her having to be specific. I reached down, taking the end of one of her long strands of red hair where it lay on the hospital bed and showing it to her. "He hired some expert in ancestry and had him come see you while you were still asleep. It was your hair that tipped them off. Apparently not many people are like you."

That was for sure. She did not seem like any woman I had ever met before, and she had barely said anything to me. She asked a completely different question, "Why are you here?"

I smiled a bit. "You asked me to stay, Kushina-san."

She did not seem annoyed or even faintly amused. "Why did he want you with him?"

"I asked to come," I told her; sure that honesty was best in this case… to a point, at least. I doubted she'd take kindly to be somewhat-obsessive thoughts about her, so I'd keep that to myself.

"Why?"

"I was the one who found you." I answered, as if this was enough. She did not look satisfied with that answer, but I did not elaborate. "Why won't you talk to anyone but me?"

For the first time, shock registered in her face. She hadn't expected the tables to be turned on her, to have to answer the questions as well as ask them. She just returned my own vague response back to me. "You were the one who found me."

"Do you trust me?" I asked, remembering our conversation up on the mountain… well, the conversation I had had with a very different version of this girl. This question, however, she did not answer. "The Hokage wants someone to help you get your bearings around here. I volunteered to be that person."

"I don't need help." She said, suddenly stubborn. My brow furrowed with worry, looking over the young woman. If anyone needed help, she did.

"Then I won't help you." I told her.

"I don't need someone to take care of me."

"Then I will not take care of you."

"I just want to be left alone." She insisted.

"Then you will never know I am with you."

She huffed, "Will you be sleeping on my doorstep too, then?"

I shrugged, "If my Hokage commands it."

"Do you always do everything your precious Hokage tells you to do?" She finally asked, her frustration evident in her voice. The color seemed to be coming back to her face a bit, as if the death in her features was retreating when faced with her anger.

I smiled at her question. "Always."

"Are you always such a pushover?"

I chuckled, which appeared to only anger her more. "No… I'd tell you to ask a few whole Iwa armies, but they're not able to tell anyone much of anything anymore." I watched that sink in, seeing her flinch when I spoke the name of the people who had killed her family. It was harsh to mention it so soon after her trauma, but I figured if she was going to throw stones that I couldn't be made of glass like she apparently thought I was.

"I serve my Hokage because my greatest joy in life is protecting the people of Konoha and of this country, not because I'm passively obedient." She looked at me long and hard, and I looked back without the barest hint of resentment at her words. Finally she sighed, leaning her head against the wall again as the light flickered away from her eyes once again.

"Why can't everyone just leave me be?" She whispered.

"Because we care for your well-being." I told her immediately. "You are important."

She scoffed, though no humor was present behind the incredulous laugh. "I am _nothing_."

"You are a Princess." I reminded her; afraid she might be angry at the title like she was before. However, she made no indication that she would lash out again.

"Of ashes..." She muttered, the words catching in her throat before she could release them. My eyebrows furrowed, seeing how the words affected her. "What is a Princess if her kingdom is ashes?"

"In the northern most part of the Land of Fire, there is a mountain where all the vegetation on one side was burned to the ground due to a terrible forest fire. It has been ten years since then, and where a gray mountain once stood now sits a magnificently beautiful structure covered in trees with red, orange, and yellow flowers that blossom almost year round." I watched as confusion lit her features and added. "We call it Phoenix Mountain, because it rose from the ashes. It has become a national symbol of the Land of Fire."

I could see her distaste at the word fire clearly in her face. "And? What does that have to do with me?"

"You asked what a Princess is if her kingdom is ashes?" I asked, and she nodded. "She is a phoenix princess."

"My home is gone… I did not rise from it. I ran from it. I abandoned everyone I ever loved." She whispered, a single tear falling from her eye.

"Running to save your life is not the same as running away from those you love." I told her adamantly. "Wouldn't your loved ones want you to live on, even if they couldn't?"

"_You know_ _nothing._" She seethed, her chest rising in falling in deep bursts of air as if she was failing to control her anger.

"You're wrong." I told her, standing up from the chair. "I know this: We of the Land of Fire have been allied with the Land of Whirlpools almost since the creation of this village. Your village was destroyed because our enemies thought it would hurt us. We might not be able to show it, but they were right: This _will_ hurt us. We will mourn the loss of their lives, just like we mourn the loss of any other casualties of war. But that's just it. In the end, the people of your village are just more victims of war that we don't have time to dwell on. The individuals of your village who died mean nothing to us personally and will soon be forgotten."

She glared at me, her teeth grinding together in fury. "What is your point?"

"It is not _our_ job to remember them." I told her bluntly, shrugging my shoulders as if it really didn't matter to me whatsoever. "But if you were half as dedicated to your people and your village as I think you were, then it _is_ your job. You were their princess, and now you are all they have left in the living world besides a pile of ashes that got washed out to sea. You can forget them like others will. Kami knows, I understand how hard remembering is sometimes. You can forget them…or you can leave something behind in this world worthy of your peoples' sacrifice. You can make an impact that will make people remember your village for something more than its destruction. It's completely your decision."

And just like that, the anger receded from her face. So quickly, even, that it was like someone had flipped the hourglass of her emotions over, letting the sand spill out. This time, however, death did not replace her anger. She looked up at me, with an expression I couldn't easily recognize—something between confusion, shock, reverence, and sadness. I didn't care what it was. If making her angry was what it took to make the death leave her features, then consider me her biggest annoyance from here on out. I smirked, thinking about that, and made a hand sign.

"Goodbye, Kushina-hime. I'll be seeing you around, I promise." She didn't even have the time to look outraged at the title before I vanished.

* * *

**Soooo, you get your first look at Minato Namikaze's perspective ^_^ I was planning on doing a lot of that, especially since we're in Konoha now and Kushina's all sad and angsty right now (and that's just no fun to write!). Hope you liked it, let me know how much Minato you want to hear from later! (As in, none at all, maybe a chapter every now and then, about even with Kushina's perspective, or EVERYTHING MUST BE MINATO FROM NOW ON! :OOOOOO ) Hahaha let me know**

**-TG**


	10. Seventeen Years

**Hello everyone :)**

**So, I felt really bad for my long hiatus on this story, so I've been trying to write even though I've been on vacation for the past ten days. Seriously, I'm jet lagged and exhausted and it's two am... but I had to finish this chapter before I could sleep. Minato and Kushina just won't shut up in my head XD (That's not scary at all...hahahah). **

**So, this is my longest chapter yet... I just had so many ideas for this one. Actually, it was supposed to be much longer than this but I needed some kind of stopping point. But do not fret! I plan to write the next one as soon as possible! All the ideas are there, I just have to get them down on paper (easier said than done, huh?)**

**Well, enjoy :)**

**-TG**

**Please tell me what you think, I really would like to know what you guys think of this chapter and where the story is progressing.**

**Oh, and Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, yada, yada, yada... you know the drill**

* * *

Chapter 9- Seventeen Years

_(Kushina_)

Pushing open the heavy door labeled 305 in faded black letters, I took in my first glimpse of the place I would be forced to call home for the time being. The village-funded apartment complex for the otherwise helpless or homeless wasn't luxury, to put it lightly, but at least I didn't feel compelled to carry a kunai at the ends of my sleeves just yet. It wasn't horrible, but it was far from anything I was used to. But then again, this entire village was far from anything I was used to. It was far too bright here—too colorful and sunny all the damn time. I missed the ever-present dimness brought on by the cloudy skies. I missed the thick, salty ocean air that you could practically drink in. I missed the powerful ocean winds on the seaside cliffs, not these wimpy breezes that rustled the thousands and thousands of leaves that surrounded this entire place, creating a sound comparable to wind chimes. I missed the normal, faceless cliffs that lined that lined the ocean for miles. Those three stoic faces looking down on me from above made me feel like a guilty, wrong-doing child, not a protected guest-slash-citizen of the village. This whole place was just so… big and bright and _wrong_.

Finally mustering the courage to cross the threshold of the apartment, I looked around the tiny space. In just a quick glance, I could see almost the entire place. The space I entered was just barely big enough for the door and me to fit. To my right there was a kitchenette, which harbored a tiny table with two chairs, and a small hall way that led towards the bedroom a few feet away. I could see the futon pushed up against the wall with the window, so much like my hospital room had looked. I cringed at the thought. The only part of the place I could not see from the doorway was a bathroom, which I silently prayed was included. I did not want to imagine the horrors of communal apartment bathrooms just yet. Taking the short hallway, I breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of my own toilet, my own sink, and my own shower. _Simple pleasures,_ I thought miserably at my own relief.

I set the duffel bag and care package that the nurses had brought me in the hospital on the bed, and sat myself beside it. I wrapped my bandaged arms around my torso, shifting the foreign clothing beneath them. I had been given a simple black wrap-around shirt and loose-fitting black pants: Civilian clothing. I couldn't remember once in my life ever wearing true civilian clothing. When I was younger, I had worn children's clothes, obviously—mostly boy's clothing. With so many male relatives, it hadn't been hard to find clothes to fit my stocky, unlady-like frame. I had gone to great lengths to avoid the frilly dresses, kimonos, and skirts that had filled my closet for years until I had become well-known as a hopeless tomboy. Then, when I entered the academy, I had worn strictly ninja clothing until… well, until that hadn't been a possibility any longer. Then, I had had no choice in the matter: I had grown up, despite my adamant protests. I grew taller and leaner as I lost the baby fat at dance classes and my secret, rigorous ninja training. At that time, I had been expected to dress like a respectable young lady in clothes befitting the daughter of a powerful clan leader—befitting a princess. Never before had I just been a civilian among thousands, but here I was: with no one left to tell me what to do or wear and lost because of it. I would have gone back and worn every horrid outfit they could think of, if I could have only gotten them back.

Taking a quick scan of my few recently acquired material possessions, I found more clothes very similar to the ones I had on and all black or dark gray, as was appropriate for a time of mourning. The only color present in the entire bag was a small, blue bag for bathroom necessities, the orange and red fabric of my brother's jacket, and the ivory and red hilt of the three-pronged kunai on top. I breathed a heavy sigh and fell over onto the hard futon. I didn't even realize it when the tears came. I never did anymore. Over three weeks I had been in this stupid village, and I felt like I had shed as many tears as there were leaves around Konoha. I was numb to them now. They came and went now, no longer accompanied by heaving sobs or breathless grief. Crying would not fix anything, I told myself like it mattered. Crying was for weak, emotional people, not strong, capable ninjas. But who was I kidding? In no one's opinion, not even my own, was I a strong, capable ninja. If anyone had thought I had been a ninja, I would have been given a ninja's attire, not a bag full of civilian clothing. But I hadn't, because I wasn't. It was as simple as that.

I felt tired. So tired. My body was tired from trying to heal all my scars, both inside and out. My brain was tired from replaying everything I had ever done wrong in my life thus far, namely things like trusting my brother and living when I wasn't supposed to. I was tired of crying. I was tired of being tired.

So, thoroughly exhausted, I closed my eyes and slept, not caring that I would soon wake from the inevitable barrage of nightmares.

And so the hours passed, in a series of conscious, semi-conscious, and unconscious moments. When I felt tired, which was most of the time, I slept. When I felt what could have been the distant pangs of hunger, I discovered that I had a fairly well-stocked refrigerator and some cabinets full of food to choose from. Every time I woke after a particularly long period of sleep, I took a long, hot shower, wishing the scalding water would wash the stress from my shoulders. I wasn't surprised when it didn't. Sometimes when I woke, the moon shown clearly through my window, and sometimes the sun's rays woke me. Either way, the passing days went by with little to no acknowledgement from me.

The first recollection I had of coherent thought in the following days was one evening. I couldn't remember the last time I had woken, so I showered, put a new set of civilian clothing back on, made some instant noodles, and sat looking out the window at the huge village as I ate the food without tasting it. I felt like I hadn't heard my own voice in at least a week. It could have been, for all I knew. I was surprised no one had bothered me yet. It almost worried me how no one had even attempted to make contact with me. Not even the Hokage. I hadn't seen him since he had come to see me in the hospital room. He had said we would speak when I was discharged, but I had been escorted to this place by his assistant instead. She had waited for me to gather my things, tapping her foot impatiently, had introduced herself as if she was someone very important, and requested I follow her without a single friendly word. For my last human interaction in quite a while, it hadn't been pleasant. I hadn't been sure if I liked the Hokage before, but if he could hire that snooty woman then I probably wouldn't like him anyway. I looked up at his looming face above the moonlit city, grim and cold and unyielding—no, I didn't think I liked him. I looked forlornly at my front door, wondering if it was inhabited by that silly, persistent blonde. I felt like his warnings were not just open threats. If the Hokage wanted him to hound me constantly, I had no doubt that I'd acquire a spiky blonde shadow. I shook my head at the thought.

Looking out the window, I tried to identify some of the buildings around me. The street adjacent to the apartment complex was lined with shops, vendors, and small restaurants. I saw a small ramen stand and waited for the sad pangs of remembered disappointment that such a sight always brought me. After a few pang-less moments, however, I was stricken with surprise. I remembered a time when just the thought of eating ramen would make me think sullenly back to the days when I'd eat four or five bowls alongside my favorite person in the whole world: my brother. After he had left, the food was just a reminder of all the good times we had together and that we'd never be together again. Now however, it just looked like a normal, regretless ramen stand.

How curious that was. I suppose if a horrible physical pain could make you forget a less severe one, then why couldn't emotional pain do the same? I didn't know where Kazuo was, just like I hadn't after he had left. But one thing I did know, with some certainty, was that he was alive and well (a traitor, maybe, but still alive). Now thinking of him, all I could think about was his retreating form as my vision blurred with induced fatigue and whether or not he was wearing a stone village head band. Now that I thought about my depression at the loss of my brother, it made the sadness seem silly and trivial in comparison with the intense pain I was faced with now. I sighed, putting my noodles down and wondering if my appetite would ever come back.

Looking back down at the bustling street, I watched people come and go in envy of their simple, carefree strolls and smiles. The sun hung low over the village, indicating to me in the late fall season that the day was coming to an early close. It was probably 6 or 7 in the evening, and people were milling about or settling at a restaurant for dinner. I wondered what day of the week it was. I really had absolutely no way to know... well, not absolutely no way perhaps. Getting off my bed and walking to my door, I put my hand on the door knob tentatively. I was genuinely afraid or anxious or... some feeling I couldn't think of that that man was sitting on my steps. I took a breath and yanked the door open, scaring one of my neighbors at my sudden appearance. I nodded apolegetically, one of my hands reaching up to rub the back of my head. The older man shook his head at me and went back in his apartment. My frown deepened, and I wasn't sure if it was because of embarrassment or because my doorstep was inhabited only by five piled newspapers. Five days. That's how long I had been holed up in my room like a hermit. Leaning down to pick up the newspaper on top, I almost laughed at the date. The date was Friday, December 11th... the day before my 17th birthday.

Happy Birthday to me.

I shook my head, closing the door on the sad pile of papers. Grabbing the kunai from the bag and shrugging into the huge jacket, I made my way out of my apartment. I was still tired and melancholy, but now I added cabin fever to my list of conflicting emotions. I was sick of looking at the walls of that apartment. I needed to get out. This whole village was so big; I bet it would be easy to get lost. I wouldn't mind getting lost about now.

When I made it outside, I breathed in deep, indulging myself in the fresh air. I stuffed the kunai into the inside pocket of my brother's jacket, not really wanting to be kicked out of the village for scaring the citizens. Not that I really cared for this village, but I figured getting kicked out would not be in my best interest for the time being. I had nowhere else to go. I had no one to come wish me a happy birthday, not that I really cared. I scoffed at the thought and set off. I hadn't realized from my window on the third floor, but you couldn't see the main street from the entrance to the apartment complex. It was hidden by a long wall of buildings; purposefully hidden from the public eye, I assumed. I circled around my building, not particularly caring to join the public just yet. What I saw there made me grin in spite of myself: a training ground.

I supposed it shouldn't be so shocking-I was in probably the largest ninja village in the world. But still, I wasn't used to every apartment building having their own. If I recalled correctly through my delusional fog, I believe I remembered seeing a training ground at the hospital too. This one left much to be desired. The trees surrounding the field were scratched from kunai and shuriken. There were a few faded targets on the trees, and single stump in the middle to practice on. It reminded me painfully of my training ground from before-the one that was either burned to the ground or washed away or destroyed by hand. I'd never know.

Stepping up to the stump, I hesitantly got into the proper stance. It felt like years since I had done this, but it had hardly been a month yet. I threw one timid punch, and I was shocked at how the muscles in my arm recoiled at the impact. It was like my body was rejecting me. A few more punches, and I knew I'd hurt or tear something if I didn't gain more control of myself. I huffed in frustration, angry that this wasn't coming back as easily as I thought it would. Stepping away from the stump into the center of the clearing, I started my breathing exercises. _Breathe in and out, in and out, steady..._ My hands arched around my head until they settled into fists at my waist. From there, I made a few more sweeping motions with my arms: the beginning of my personal favorite kata. Even if I hadn't performed this in years, I think I'd be able to remember it. I had created it myself when I was fifteen. It never failed to warm me up, as it stretched every muscle in your body to the limit. I had studied a dozen different martial arts styles, classic fighting techniques, and even added some ballet and dance moves from my classes to make the ultimate warm-up kata. It was my crowning glory. It was perfect. It was an amazing distraction from the torment of my mind.

Losing myself in the movement, I was able to flip gracefully backwards and stand so high up on my toes that I felt like I had left the ground entirely. Forcing chakra into my feet, I launched myself into an air-born flip and- for just a moment- I was flying. For that moment, I was suspended in air and nothing in the world could touch me-not oppressive families, not flames, not enemy ninja, not stuffy village leaders... not anyone in the world. Finally, I landed on my feet, disappointed that I couldn't stay suspended in air for a lifetime. Soft pants escaped my mouth, and I stretched once more to test my loosened muscles. That technique never failed. Released from the spell of the exercise, I could feel the smile fall from my face instantly, and I was curious as to when that had happened. I supposed it was hard not to feel happy when nothing in the world could bother you. But that feeling was gone. I was alone again in an empty field in an enormous village full of people I neither knew nor cared about-who didn't even know that I existed.

Allowing my anger and frustration to fill the void in my heart, I rushed at the stump. I fell into an old routine, one that I had been doing for almost six years. _Punch, punch, double punch, round-house kick, front kick, spinning kick._ I remembered when I learned this routine. I could see Kenji's face as he criticized my technique; Kazuo's as he criticized Kenji's teaching style; my father's as he observed from afar; My disgruntled one as the men in my life attempted to make me the best ninja possible. I could hear their arguments in my head still, along with their encouragements. _Punch, punch, double punch, roundhouse kick, front kick, spinning kick. _It had been so annoying to me at the time. I had been so _stupid_. If I had only known how much I'd miss my annoying older brothers, I would have been a better sister... one worth sticking around to see. If only I had known how much my father loved me, I wouldn't have resented him so much. If only I had known I'd never get those long talks with my mother, I would've told her everything I had ever felt and ever experienced. _Punch, punch, double punch, roundhouse kick, front kick, spinning kick. _I would have done everything differently, had I just known.

I tried to focus on just the mantra in my head, trying to rid myself of those agonizing thoughts. After a while, I was able to just lose myself in the pattern. _Punch, punch, double punch, roundhouse kick, front kick, spinning kick._ Even when my knuckles became bloody, the chakra I pumped into my fists gave me burns, and the stump looked about ready to surrender, I continued. I was not eleven years old, anymore, and preparing for the genin exams that would never occur. Kazuo was not here to tell me to stop this time. If I passed out from exhaustion, I didn't care. I could die here, for all I cared. I just kept going. I wasn't aware when the sun finally dipped below the line of trees. I didn't watch the sky as it faded from the yellow of sunset, to orange and pink, to purple and red, to blue, to navy, and finally to the pitch black of night. I didn't even notice when the clouds rolled over the mountain with the Hokages' faces on them, until they made a thick dark blanket in the sky above me. I didn't stop when the rain started pattering down over the field, making the ground slick and muddy beneath me. I didn't stop when I was unable to distinguish between tears and raindrops as they streaked down my face.

Then I finally just stopped. My legs shook uncontrollably, until I finally collapsed onto my knees, the mud splashing around me. I held my hands up to my face, watching the rain wash away the blood. My skin was so pale in the dim moonlight that the blood looked black as it washed down my wrists and between my fingers. It looked just like my brother's blood had looked on my hands, and like the blood of the men I had killed. My hands dropped to my knees, and I looked up to the moon as it peeked through the clouds, allowing the rain to wash over my face.

"What am I supposed to do now?" I whispered, knowing no one could hear me.

My clothes were drenched. The civilian clothing clung to my body, hanging down from my arms like soggy, broken wings. These clothes weren't meant to be durable, and didn't last like ninja clothing could. I hated them. I missed Keiko's too-short shorts and too-tight shirt. She hadn't been the most practical when it came to clothing, going for what showed of her assets more than what would be better to fight in. But every time I had worn those stupid, revealing kunoichi clothes, I had thought of her. I missed her so much it hurt.

I stood up, stumbling forward on my shaking legs. I didn't know where I was going to go. I didn't care. I ambled along, not really aware of where my weak legs took me. I rubbed my arms, trying to put a little warmth back into them. It was a futile attempt. The cold permeated my clothes, through my skin, through the layers of muscle, until it settled on my bones. I shook violently, wondering when it got so cold. I supposed it was December, so I really shouldn't have been so surprised. I was farther north now. It was night time and it was raining. Suddenly my ability to be numb to the world went away, and now I was just so cold.

I walked through the thin layer of trees until I found the busy street from before. It was almost abandoned now. There were two streetlights still lit, and the only open establishments were the bars. When had it gotten so late? I walked down the streets, wincing when I walked across a few bars blaring loud music. The music seemed to rattle in my skull, giving me a massive headache. The only people around were the mostly drunk bar-goers, some heading home and some just playing in the rain as if they had no place they needed to be. They ignored me as if I was no more than a ghost walking down the street, completely invisible. I preferred it that way. Finally, I felt like people were obeying my wishes and just leaving me to wallow away.

I didn't know how long I had been walking before I heard them. I had crossed another alleyway, finding myself on another dark street. Everything around here looked the same to me. It was still raining, but only a miserable, cold drizzle. There were four men, laughing and quite obviously drunk. They were loud, so I looked over. All of them had shinobi headbands wrapped around them somewhere-two around their necks, one on his arm, the other on his forehead. Maybe they had just returned from a long, tiring mission and needed a night to forget everything that had happened. Maybe they just liked getting wasted because it was fun. I had no clue. I would be seventeen tomorrow (today?), so I couldn't drink alcohol legally for another year. Not that I really wanted to, though. When I looked over, they saw me and stared back. One muttered something to the others, and they laughed.

That's when they started following me. I didn't even know they were following me until I turned down a nondescript alleyway to nowhere and they did too. I was sure they had no reason to be in this alleyway, besides perhaps being burdensome to me. I could hear them yelling out to me, but couldn't have deciphered their slurs had I wanted to. When I turned left at the end of the long passageway, my heart sank. This alleyway was a dead end. I touched the wall sadly, feeling the fear creep up my spine. I could have walked up this wall... had I had any chakra left to spare. All my chakra had been spent through chakra-induced punches and kicks during my useless exercises. The stump in that training field had took all the damage, leaving nothing for these annoying jerks. I turned at the end of the narrow passageway, whipping the kunai out of my jacket in time to see them turn the corner. They laughed when they saw me.

"Oh preeeetty gir' wansta fight, huh?" One cooed, as if I was a child yielding a wooden kunai or something. My anger boiled. If only I wasn't so cold and weak... If only I had an ounce of chakra left... I would've beaten these guys into next week.

"I dunno, I like when dey fight, don't you?" Another asked, stepping slowly closer to me. They were so drunk it would have been easy. I could have knocked them all on to their pathetic butts so quickly they wouldn't have been able to slur their names out. But all I could feel were my weak, shaking limbs and the heavy, soggy clothing that hung from them. I felt so useless.

"Come here, pretty girl." One reached out, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to him. I slashed at him with the kunai, but he grabbed that wrist as well. If someone this drunk had better coordination than me, I had serious problems.

"Don't _touch_ me, you filthy low-life." I sneered, trying to jerk my wrists from his big hands.

"Low-life?" The foursome laughed jovially, making my teeth grit in anger. "Honey, we're ninjas! You never been sooo lucky... you're just a poor lil' village girl. I bet you dreeaamed about stron', hamsome ninjas like us."

The man wrapped his big, meaty arm around my waist and pulled me to him. He puckered his big, wet lips and I fought terribly. I was just so tired and cold and weak, and he was just so strong. He was so close, I could smell the alcohol still quite pungent on his breath. This could not be my first kiss, this could not be my first kiss, this could _not _be my first kiss!

I screamed as I felt another pair of arms wrap around me from behind. I struggled, trying to break free of their strong holds on me. Then, suddenly, everything disappeared. One moment I had been there, and the next second I was gone. That's when I- we? -landed.

I felt one pair of warm arms carrying me. They let my feet fall to the ground as we landed, and I immediately sank to my knees. I was on a rooftop overlooking the entire village, the mountain with the Hokage faces looming high over my head. How in the world had I gotten here so quickly?

What was that? Some teleportation jutsu, I was sure. But no jutsu I had ever experienced had ever been that fast. A moment later, my stomach seemed to arrive, painfully flipping in the process. I scrambled away on my hands and knees to empty my stomach over the side of the building. I hoped no one was walking below to see that.

"Is she drunk?" A voice asked in a clear, high-pitched monotone.

"No, Kakashi. She's just scared." Another voice assured. This one I recognized, and I felt the annoyance and anger fill me immediately.

"I wasn't scared, y-you idiot." I stated firmly, wiping my mouth as I turned around. I could still taste the bile in my mouth, and it made me gag again. "W-what the hell did you just d-do to me, Minato?"

"You know this civilian girl?" The other voice asked, and I saw the young boy now who was speaking. He was small and thin, with a spiky fringe of silver hair popping out of his headband. A mask covered his whole face except for his two onyx colored eyes. He wore all black and had a katana strapped to his back. Behind that mask, I couldn't tell what he really might have looked like, but he couldn't have been more than twelve years old.

"That was my Flying Thunder God technique. I saved your life and most likely your dignity, Kushina-hime." The older man said, looking very grim. "Yes, Kakashi, I know her. This is Kushina Uzumaki. Kushina-hime, this is my student Kakashi."

I glared at the little impassive boy, not liking him already. He was so calm, he seemed practically robotic. What was his problem? I didn't know, but I didn't care at the moment. Not when that stupid Blonde was so much more annoying than his little twerp. "You d-did not save me, you imbecile. I could've h-handled th-them."

Shivers wracked my body as I spoke, half from the cold, half from the pain of retching, and a tad bit from the fear that I refused to admit I felt. He looked at me like I was stupid. "That kunai signals me when its bearer is in trouble. I give them to special people so that I can protect them, should they have need of it. You needed it."

"D-did not." I muttered through my chattering teeth. I tried standing up, only to stumble back to the ground once more.

"Are you sure she's not drunk, Minato-sensei?" The boy asked again, and I glared back at him. He did not even acknowledge my presence, talking about me as if I weren't even there.

"I'm positive, Kakashi." Minato said patiently, with just a hint of shielded exasperation in his voice. "She's only sixteen."

"Seventeen." I amended sadly, looking up at the moon. It was well past midnight now, which meant it was December 12th: my birthday.

"What?" Minato asked.

"Seventeen." I repeated, still looking up at the moon as it gleamed through the thinning rain clouds. "It's after m-midnight. Which m-means I'm seventeen y-years old t-today."

"Oh." Minato said, his tone and expression softening instantly at my admission. He looked over at his pupil. "Go home, Kakashi. Good work today. I'll see you in a few days."

"Yes, Minato-sensei." The boy said before zipping across the rooftops away from us. Those two had way too much in common, I decided. They were both so calm and they both had a certain knack for annoying me... but that could've just been Leaf ninja in general. I didn't know enough of them to make a firm conclusion yet.

Without even asking, Minato scooped me up from the ground like I weighed no more than a doll. I fumed. "Put me _d-down._"

"You can't even walk, Kushina-hime." He said, a flicker of an amused smile playing at his lips. He was so _infuriating._

"I'll c-crawl back to m-my apartment, if that's w-what it takes. I s-said, put me down!" I punched at his shoulders, regretting the fact that I didn't have any chakra left to enforce the punches. I tried to release myself from his iron grasp, but it was no use. Looking around, I had no clue where I was. I was so close to the Hokage monument that I had to be very far from my apartment building. All the buildings in the dim light of moon looked the same to me, indistinguishable from each other. "Where are y-you taking m-me?"

"My apartment. It's that building just there." He pointed with the hand that was braced around my shoulders. This building was much nicer than mine, and I was almost curious to see what these apartments looked like. I would have been very curious had I not been being abducted by an annoying blonde.

"No, you certainly are not!" My teeth finally stopped chattering for the moment. Probably because, through the wet skin of clothing I had on, I could feel his warmth like he was radiating his own heat. After being so cold, it felt so amazing that I almost leaned my head back to fall into blissful moments of sleep. I would have, had I trusted this man at all. But I didn't.

"You're freezing. You're soaking wet. My apartment is just down there, and it has a fireplace and hot tea-"

"I don't like tea." I told him, hating how much like a child I sounded. He smiled, though.

"Good. Me neither. Hot chocolate, then. Not to mention, you spent two unconscious weeks and one conscious week at the hospital. I doubt you'd like to return for catching pneumonia, would you?" He just had to be so damn reasonable.

Knowing from the five days spent in my apartment that I did not have hot chocolate, I thought about that for a moment as he paused on the rooftop. It sounded too good to pass up... it had been so long since I had been allowed sweets... "Fine." I relented. "But can you _please_ just walk into your apartment like a normal person, instead of your freaky teleportation thing? I'd rather not lose my stomach again, thank you very much."

He laughed, and I could feel the rumbling of his chest against me. I was not amused. "Yeah, yeah, pretty boy, get going."

He didn't move. I looked up into his face, and almost flinched at how close his was to mine. He peered down at me, his eyes squinted in scrutiny. "Pretty boy?"

I could feel the heat of my blush rush up my neck and into my cheeks, and had I not been so embarrassed I might have welcomed the warmth. I shrugged my shoulders as well as I could in his grip. "I don't know. Just go. I'm f-freezing."

"Uh huh." He chuckled at me, beginning to walk slowly towards the direction he had pointed earlier. "I might have fallen for that pitiful stutter if you weren't blushing so badly."

I gritted my teeth, almost wishing I had enough energy to hit him with a chakra-induced punch. Then he might not be laughing so much. I heard the buzz of chakra as he forced some into his feet, walking straight down the building as if it was no trouble at all. Of course, I knew it wasn't any trouble for 90 percent of experienced ninja, but he didn't know that I knew that. He gripped me tighter, as if he was worried that I'd be afraid. Even when I didn't show the slightest sign of fear, he didn't loosen his grip on me—not even when we met even ground once again in front of the apartment complex. When we approached the doors, a doorman opened them for us and nodded a hello at Minato. He didn't so much as blink in shock when he saw me in Minato's grasp. It made me wonder if this was the kind of thing Minato did on a regular basis: carrying shivering, blushing, pitiful teenage girls out from the cold. I didn't think I really wanted to know.

He carried me slowly up the stairs, and by this point I was about to make him put me down. Between his warmth, my embarrassment, and the apartment complex's heater, I was quite warm by this point. I probably could have walked on my own. But for some reason, I didn't so much as utter a word. When we made it to the very last floor, he paused at a red door with gold numbers labeling the apartment. The paint wasn't chipped or faded, like mine, but shiny as if it had been done yesterday. Leaning down, he placed his right thumb on a pad above the golden door knob. I heard the quick buzz of chakra, and suddenly the door clicked open.

"Chakra locks." I stated, not able to hide how impressed I was. "That's nifty."

He chuckled at me again, kicking open the door the rest of the way. "Thank you. I made them myself."

_Of course he did_. Why would I have thought anything different?

For just a moment as he paused outside his door, the awkwardness was tangible in the air. Here I was, being carried bridal style into an older guy's apartment. I wonder if he felt it too. I supposed not, because he carried me through as if it was no big deal to him. The room we entered was as big as my entire apartment put together. There was a comfortable-looking couch and armchair spaced evenly around a large coffee table. In front of that was a big brick fireplace, which looked neat and unused. The firewood lying beside it looked untouched.

On top of the mantle was a long row of picture frames, filled with colorful, happy-looking people. On the farthest left, there was a picture of a couple, a man with spiky, honey colored hair and a woman with straight, bright blonde hair, holding a new-born, bright blonde baby boy on a hospital bed. Beside them was a young girl, perhaps four or five years old, with short blonde hair like her mother's and huge, happy grin. All of them had bright, blue irises staring out at me through smiling eyes. That must have been his family on the day he was born, I guessed. Beside that frame was a taller one, with the same girl from the other picture, but much older. It must have been at least ten years later. She had her arm around a young boy with spiky blonde hair; both of them holding a peace sign up, both with blue eyes closed in laughter. She looked much like her mother from the picture before. She was very beautiful. After that picture was what I assumed to be a ninja team picture. Minato and two other young boys stood in beside a young, white-haired man with red streaks down his cheeks. His hair was so spiky, it looked like he and Minato could have been distantly related.

The next picture was the one my gaze lingered on the longest, because it was so different from all the others. In every other picture, the subjects looked happy and alive. But not this one. The same white-haired man from before was in this one, looking tall and proud beside his student, but Minato looked into the camera without the barest hint of emotion. His face was drawn, and he was tall and too skinny. He wore a sleeveless shirt, armor, long gloves, a pure white mask on top of his head, and a katana strapped to his back. The change in his expression was so starkly different that, had I not seen the spiky blonde hair beneath the white mask, I would've thought it was a completely different person.

"…Uh, Kushina-hime?" I heard Minato clear his throat.

I snapped back into reality, realizing I had been staring for quite a long time around the room. "What?"

"I asked if you'd like to take a hot shower while I make the hot chocolate and start the fire. I could get you some clothes… they'll be too big, of course, but at least they'll be dry and warm." He looked into my blank face, waiting for a few moments for me to answer.

"Um, yes please. You can let me down now, I think." Finally yielding to my request, he set me on my feet. When I finally placed my own weight on my legs, he braced my elbow just in case I threatened to fall again. I was glad that my legs didn't betray me, only shaking a little this time.

When I was firmly standing, he let me go. "Right then, I'll go get those clothes for you…"

I stood, wrapping my wet, bandaged arms around my torso as I looked back over at the picture frames. Still, my gaze went immediately to the fourth picture as if it held its own gravitational pull. I reluctantly tore my gaze from the mantle once again as he re-entered the living space from what I assumed was his bedroom. He held out a thick pile of black clothing, and I almost cringed. More black… I almost ungratefully asked for something more colorful, but managed to control myself. I took the pile from his hands, and he pointed me in the direction of the bathroom.

After I entered the room and locked the door, I turned the faucet to the hottest setting, letting the steam roll through the room over the shower curtain. Before it fogged the mirror, I gazed at myself in the reflective surface. I recoiled in shock at the sight. Touching my hand to my face, I hardly recognized the girl staring back at me, with bruised fingers barely grazing her face. My face was gaunt and pale, too thin from my lack of food over the past month. My eyes looked… lost. I immediately realized why that expression on my face looked so familiar. It was just like the one on Minato's in that picture. I averted my eyes away, scared of the girl looking back at me.

My clothes clung to my thin body, making me look even scarier. My hair had grown well past my hips, but it was thin and wiry at the bottom where some had been burnt off in the fire. Scrambling in my jacket for the kunai, I almost burst out into sobs when I realized it was gone. I must have dropped it in the scramble from before. I looked through the drawers below his sink until I found a pair of scissors. Clutching the scissors with one shaking hand, I cut clean through my hair ten inches from the bottom. I silently prayed it would grow back healthy as I watched the damaged pieces fall to the tile, crimson red against pure white.

I shed my clothes, letting them fall into a wet heap on top of the pile of hair. I delicately folded my brother's jacket, hanging it neatly on the towel rack to dry. The rest of the clothes, I didn't care about. I stepped under the scalding stream of water, wishing it would sink through my skin to replace the cold. I soaked there for what seemed like an eternity, lathering shampoo through my long hair slowly, still praying silently that it would grow back healthy. When my skin was red and raw from the hot water, I finally stepped out, wrapping a fluffy white towel around my too-thin body. After I dried off my body and towel-dried my hair, I put on the long black pants and big black shirt. Both were so big on me that I lost myself in them, but they were warm and comfortable so I wasn't complaining. Before I approached the door, I picked up the soggy pile of clothing from the floor, making sure all the long, wet tendrils of hair were trapped in the wad before I threw the entire thing in the waste basket.

Unlocking the door and peering outside, I saw Minato sitting cross-legged in front of the coffee table with a white box in front of him. When he heard me, he looked up and smiled. I almost shook my head at the sight of him. How did he do it? How did he smile so easily? I saw the look on his face in that picture… pure loss and grieving, much like I felt now. How did he heal? How could he sit there and smile at me like he had never lost anyone he loved? The charming couple, his parents… the beautiful girl, his sister… he had told me their fate. How could he just forget them?

"I thought I'd redress your wounds." He said, the smile still never leaving his face. He gestured to my folded arms. "They got pretty wet out there."

I nodded, walking out of the bathroom to sit in front of him. I held out my arms, and he folded back the long sleeves as far as he could. He unraveled the gauze strips starting at my thin wrists, revealing the fresh pink scars beneath. Concern lit his eyes at the sight of them. "You know, they could have healed these for you. They're miracle workers at the hospital. They can get rid of any scars."

I nodded, watching him wipe the long, pale gashes clean. "I know. I asked them not to heal them."

He looked up into my face, but I did not meet his gaze. I would not let myself forget the sacrifices my family had made. I would wear the scars forever, knowing how fortunate I was to be alive. He took thick rolls of clean white bandages from the first-aid box in front of him, and began wrapping them from my shoulder to my wrist. I watched, falling into a quiet daze. When he was finished, his gaze fell onto my hands. He grabbed them softly, staring intently at the deep gashes on my knuckles and chakra burns lining my fingers.

"What did you do to yourself?" He muttered quietly, shocked and horrified at the sight.

"It's nothing." I attempted to pull my hands out of his, but winced at the pain.

"That's not _nothing_." He said, his eyes boring into my face. He looked almost angry. But before he could scrutinize me further, the distant cry of the kettle interrupted us. I breathed a sigh of relief as he left the room, and I tucked my throbbing hands into the long sleeves of his shirt. He had hung his green leaf jounin vest on a hook in the corner, and I stared at the back of it despondently. On the back of the green vest was a large red circle with a swirling line through it: the Uzumaki family symbol. I had known that one of my distant relatives had been married to the first Hokage, but I hadn't known that they had adopted our family symbol as well. I looked at the reminder miserably, thinking it was taunting me with its big, red presence in the room.

I heard him enter the room through the swinging door to the kitchen, and saw him holding two steaming mugs out in front of him. Both had big, thick swirls of whipped cream on top, but one had a tiny, light blue candle sticking out of the top as well. The candle was lit and it flickered as he walked towards me. He placed the mug with the candle in front of me, and I stared at it dumbly.

He chuckled at my expression. "Happy Seventeenth Birthday. I know it's not much… but, on short notice, you know?" I stared up at him, my eyes wide and questioning. He shrugged, one hand lifting up to rub the back of his head in embarrassment. "Well, are you going to make a wish or not?"

A blush lit my cheeks once again, but I didn't know why. I told myself it was just the heat. It was really warm in here… Staring at the flickering flame for a moment, I thought about what on Earth I could wish for at this point. No stupid, birthday candle was going to bring back everything I had ever lost. But then why did I suddenly fill with hope, as if it would? I inwardly admonished myself at the thought.

This was so stupid. But, for some reason I couldn't fathom, I couldn't disappoint him. Leaning forward, I closed my eyes.

_Just let me feel whole again… please. _

I blew out a puff of air, opening my eyes in time to see his bright blue irises follow the thin trail of smoke that rose from the little candle.

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**So what did you think? Please let me know in a review, they inspire me to write faster! ;) Let me know what you guys like or don't like or what you want to see happen! I love your opinions.**


	11. Letting Someone In

**Hey everyone!**

**gah! this chapter is FINALLY DONE! I have literally been working on this chapter since I posted the last one three weeks ago... so obviously it's been giving me some serious trouble. If you can believe it, (haha, BELIEVE IT!) this was supposed to be part of last chapter, but that obviously did not work out that way. **

**PLEASE tell me what you think of this chapter, cause I was very very iffy about it. But really, this was just a chapter I needed to get down because it's a whole heck of a lot of information (useful information, at that). I'm hoping it doesn't just come off like crazy disorganized, because that's how I felt when I wrote it. Tell me what you think, and if it isn't as bad as I thought it was**

****-**Taylor**

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Chapter 10- Letting Someone In

When the beams of sunlight peaked through the window into my eyes, it took me a few long moments to figure out where I was. Last night had been the best I had slept in what felt like years, which was really saying something considering the fact that I had been in a coma only a couple of weeks ago. The dreams that had haunted me for the past two weeks- ones full of burning rooms and the dead faces of my loved ones -had not come to me last night. For the first time, I did not wake with tear tracks already covering my face or a sore throat from screaming. I had forgotten what it was like to feel well-rested. Stretching, I shifted under the warm covers, feeling around in the unfamiliar bed. I paused.

I was pretty sure waking up in an unfamiliar bed without knowledge of how you got there was usually a very bad thing. I would have been scared out of my wits, had I not remembered last night at that moment. The last week had been such a blur that I was surprised I could recall anything at all. The last thing I remembered was watching the smoke rise from the little candle, before sipping on the delicious drink for a few silent minutes. He hadn't spoken at all as we sat in front of the fire. Maybe he had known how incredibly tired I had been. I couldn't even remember falling asleep, and I silently prayed that I hadn't passed out over my hot chocolate and spilled it on his living room floor.

I couldn't believe he had let me sleep in his bedroom. I looked around the room, which was twice the size of mine. The walls were light blue and the bed had navy sheets. The room was pristine except for the tangled mass of blankets I was nesting in, and the walls were bare of pictures or anything else. There was a large trunk at the base of the bed, and I wondered what he kept in there. On the other side of the room was a sliding door to what I assumed was a closet, so I doubted he kept his clothes in the trunk. Beside the bed was a stand with a lamp and alarm clock. A little shelf below held a few books and my eyes searched the spines curiously. A few looked like shinobi training and information books, but the others had no names on them. Journals, perhaps?

It felt wrong, sitting in his room and looking at his things. I felt like I was prying. Not wanting to feel that way anymore, I swung my legs off the bed and stood up, glad when they didn't shake or give out beneath me. I took a few hesitant steps, but almost tripped on the dragging bottoms of his pants. I leaned down to roll up the bottoms, but winced when I saw my hands. I hadn't even noticed that they were throbbing until I saw them, red and raw and covered in scabs. I tucked them back into the sleeves of his shirt before I opened the door. I peered out into the living room, seeing no sign life at all. Was he still asleep?

Then I heard the whistling and smelled something amazing. I followed the sound and smell into the swinging door, seeing the back of his yellow spiky hair and navy jounin clothes. He was whistling as he flipped the contents of a pan around on his stove. I paused where I stood, just watching him without making a sound. He turned to look at me over his shoulder and smiled.

"Good morning, Kushina-hime. I hope you slept well." He didn't take his gaze off me even as his hands were busy with the pan.

"Very well, actually." I shuffled my feet uncomfortably, trying to ignore the title he seemed insistent on calling me so I wouldn't seem ungrateful. I felt so bad that I had burdened him like this. He didn't even know me. I knew he must have had better things to do than take care of a pitiful teenage girl. "Minato, I… I don't even know how I can thank you."

"Then don't." He suggested, rather unhelpfully. "Hungry? I made eggs."

He lifted the pan, and sure enough it was filled with eggs mixed with peppers and bacon. My mouth watered at the sight. It was the first time I had actually felt really hungry in the past month. He laughed at the probably ridiculous expression on my face. I blushed, which only made him laugh more

"Sit. I'll get you a plate. Would you like some coffee or orange juice with your breakfast?" He gestured to the table on the other side of the kitchen, and I looked over at it hesitantly without making the motion to sit down.

I looked at him as he moved around his kitchen, looking pleasant and without a care in the world. He must be a morning person. How could he be so hospitable? Where I was from, no one had been this nice. I wasn't even sure if this hospitality was a Konoha thing, or a Minato thing. And I had been so rude to him, while he had only tried to help me—even if his attempts were sometimes annoying. "Really, Minato-san, you don't have to do all this. I'll just go—"

"Coffee or orange juice?" He asked again, deliberately forceful this time to tell me that he was ignoring everything I was saying.

I sighed, knowing it wasn't worth arguing over. He was clearly not going to let me leave just yet. Well… I might as well tell him, considering the fact that I hated coffee. "Orange juice, please."

"Good, now sit down please. There's no use standing by the door, since you're not going anywhere. Besides, we both know your legs aren't always reliable." I glared at him, but he winked back at me playfully. After I had seated myself at his kitchen table, he placed a big plate full of eggs and the cup of orange juice in front of me.

I looked up into his smiling face, lost for words. There had to be something wrong with him, I concluded. The boy in that picture frame and this man in front of me at that moment were two completely different people—one jaded and cold and one kind and brighter than sunlight (both literally and figuratively). As he sat down across from me, I watched him. He took one big bite of his breakfast and hummed appreciatively at the taste. I shook my head.

"What is it?" He asked, looking suddenly self-conscious under my gaze.

"Why are you doing all of this for me? You don't even know me. I mean nothing to you." His brows furrowed at my question, as if it saddened him.

"Why am doing this for you? By _this_ I suppose you mean making you breakfast?" He asked as if he didn't know what I meant. I knew he was just avoiding the question though.

"And giving up your bed for me to sleep in. And lending me your clothes and your shower. And making me hot chocolate. And rescuing me!" My voice raised in pitch, this confusing man making me exasperated.

"_Twice._" He added with a smirk.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Fine. Rescuing me _twice_. Why did you do it all?"

"Do you wish I hadn't?" He asked.

_Yes,_ my mind immediately answered. I deserved no less after what I had done. But I supposed that providing this answer would seem unappreciative, so I lied. "No, I'm glad you did. But _why _did you?"

"Any person with half an ounce of sympathy would have done the same." He said, still not providing a direct answer. I was getting angry at his deflection.

"Any _normal_ person would have gotten me away from those guys, made sure I wasn't hurt, and then returned me to my apartment to wallow in my own misery. Stop avoiding my question! I'm not asking why _any_ _person_ would have saved me. I'm asking why _you_ did!" I raised my voice, though I had not meant to. He was just _so _talented at getting under my skin.

"Fine. I suppose there are a few reasons…" He began, shifting his food absentmindedly as he thought about the answer. "For one, my mother always taught me that, should I find a young woman cold, shaking, alone, and threatened in the street, that it is my duty to help her. I don't think she used exactly those words, but that was the basic idea."

That was no surprise. I had already pegged him as the incorrigibly chivalrous type, not that I really admired such a trait usually. Normally I didn't have any patience for heroes—not when I could take care of things myself. And I hated- absolutely _loathed_- being the damsel in distress… but here I was, very much the epitome of distress.

"Then there's the fact that—" He stopped mid-sentence, looking down at my untouched plate. "You look starved. I'll answer your question, but you have to eat."

I nodded in agreement, unable to resist the smell for much longer. I picked up a pair of chopsticks and took my first bite. It was so good, that I took another bite… and another… and another. He laughed at my sudden enthusiasm. "That's better. Now where was I? The second reason would be the time I visited you in the hospital with the Hokage. The look on your face reminded me of my older sister… after our parents died. I suppose I wanted to help you because I was never able to really help my sister... at least not when it really mattered."

I saw the sadness in his eyes, but it wasn't anything comparable to the picture from before. He looked more rueful than anything else. Then an instant later, he was smiling again. I just couldn't comprehend it. I was close to considering multiple personalities as his problem. "Then there's always the fact that everyone deserves good things on their birthdays. You only turn seventeen years old once, you know?"

I blinked. I had actually forgotten that today was still my birthday. Last night's events seemed so long ago in my mind, that it was like a whole day had passed by since then. "As for me not knowing anything about you, I thoroughly intend to fix that problem."

"And how are planning on doing that?" I asked, picking up my cup to sip at the orange juice.

"Well, I could always use your suggestion and sleep on your doorstep…" He smirked, but I glared at him over my drink. "Or I could try learning more about you in some normal way, like asking questions and actually getting to know you."

I looked away, out the window and away from his happy smile. He was just as bright and annoying as this whole village. "You don't want to get to know me, I promise you."

"That's a very mysterious and intriguing way of only increasing my curiosity." He said.

I stared at his face, narrowing my eyes. "I don't have to answer your questions. I didn't _ask_ you to rescue me. I don't owe you anything."

"No. You absolutely do not owe me anything." He conceded, his voice quiet and sad once again. "I'm sorry. I just… wanted to know more about you."

I looked into his face, wondering why I felt so bad for hurting his feelings. It was stupid, really. He had no right to pry into my life, regardless of his mindless curiosity. I didn't have to tell him a single word about myself or answer a single question… then why did I feel so horrible? I already was being torn apart inside from everything else I felt guilty for, so how in the world could he make me feel worse? I shook my head, just wanting all the pain to go away. "I… I don't know if I'm ready to answer a bunch of questions just yet. You can ask, but I can't promise that I'll be able to answer you."

"That's perfectly fine." He assured me, that stupid crooked smile lighting up his face once again at my permission. "I'll take it easy on you. For example: what is your favorite color?"

"Seriously?" I said, not believing he was seriously asking what my favorite color was. Of all the stupid questions he could have asked…

"Just answer it."

I sighed, "Orange."

"_Orange?"_ He asked incredulously.

"Yes, orange." I muttered, suddenly defensive. "What's wrong with orange?"

He laughed at me, shaking his head. "Absolutely nothing. Your turn."

"This is a game now?" I asked, wondering why I was going along with this whole thing. In an utterly strange way, the stupidity of it all was… incredibly entertaining. And after a life of being stricken with the serious and depressing, a mindless little question game felt like a breath of fresh air after drowning. I sighed, feigning annoyance. "Um… Is your hair naturally gravity-defying or do you use some kind of product to make it that way?"

It took him a few moments to compose himself after that question before he could stop laughing and answer. "No. My hair is completely unmanageable. Once when I was 11, my sister suggested putting a product in it to make it straight… that was a really bad idea, to say the least. I'm fairly certain there's a picture around here somewhere…"

A giggle escaped my mouth, and I was so shocked by the subconscious action that I started choking instead. He leaned over as if to help me, but I waved him off. He shook his head. "You don't like people helping you, do you?"

I shook my head, speaking through my coughs. "No. I can help myself."

"Don't you think that's a lonely way to live?" He asked, leaning into his hand as he watched my face. For just a moment, I felt the blush crawl up my neck. My own body was a traitor.

"I, uh… you already got your question! It's my turn." I adamantly protested, making him chuckle at me. Maybe there was some benefit to making this a game. It was easier to avoid uncomfortable questions this way. "Those pictures on your mantle… what's happening in them?"

"I knew I caught you looking at them." He teased, not sounding at all offended by that. "The first picture is of my family on the day I was born. My parents were both 25 years old and my sister was five. The next is my sister and me. She was fifteen at the time, and I was ten. The one after that is my first genin team, led by Jiraiya of the three sannin. I was nine years old when I graduated the academy, so I was the youngest. One boy's name is Chiaki and the other is Noru. We weren't together for very long… I became a chunin early, and commanded my own team. But for the time we were together, we became good friends. I still see them once in a while, but they're off doing their own things now. The fourth picture… that was taken the day I joined the Anbu Black Ops when I was 16 years old. That's my sensei again. He's like a second father to me. He took me in after my family passed away."

I nodded in understanding. "It's good that you had him. Where is he now?"

He shook his finger at me, smiling. "Nope, it's my turn."

I sighed, but nodded anyway. With a mischievous look on his face, he leaned closer across the table. The table was still between us, but it felt like it wasn't big enough at that moment. He was so close. "So. What possessed you- a fragile, only recently seventeen year old girl who doesn't know her way around -to wander the dark, questionable streets of a huge village in the middle of the night?"

"I'm not fragile." I growled, my fists clenching inside the big sleeves of his shirt. The raw skin of my hands stretched across my knuckle bones, throbbing painfully, but I was so angry that it didn't matter.

"That's not an answer." He said, ignoring my statement.

I glared at him, but my mouth moved and the words formed anyway. "I couldn't stay in that apartment a moment longer. It was so… suffocating. I needed to do something, be somewhere. I was just wallowing on my bed for those five days, and, though I deserve no less than to do just that, I couldn't take it. I didn't care if I got lost. Hell… I didn't care what happened to me at all."

He looked at me for a long moment, taking in my words. "You don't deserve that. No one deserves that."

"Yes." I corrected him. "I do."

"I blame myself." He said sadly.

I watched his face, thinking he must be stupid to think such a thing. "How do you figure _that_?"

"I was supposed to be your guide. I shouldn't have left you alone that long. I know how debilitating loneliness can be." For a moment looking in his eyes, I believed him. "I promised the Hokage I'd keep up with my team, though; take them on some long-term missions. I only expected to be three days, not five. It's completely my fault."

"It was my decision to leave. I knew perfectly well that I had no clue where I was going. It's not your job to protect me. And it's not your fault that your Leaf Shinobi don't know how to act."

"Don't let those men shape your impression of Leaf Shinobi. It's not them. It's this damn war." He rubbed his face, averting his eyes in thought. "It's so early on in the war, yet so many of our friends and families and allies have died. When they're not fighting or training, they lose themselves however they can. Young women like you aren't as safe as they used to be at night, I'm afraid. It's a huge problem, but I'm afraid it's put aside with everything that's happening now. The Hokage does the best he can, and he is a great leader. But sometimes I think I'd do things differently, if it were me. I would change the priorities a bit."

He had told me he wanted to be Hokage when we first met. Once having the same dream for a different title, I knew what he meant. There were just some things- like the safety of civilians and the rights of women- that you think you could change. If only… I leaned against my hand, not sure if I could support my own thoughts any more. I llet the first question I thought of out without really thinking about what I was saying. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Lose yourself."

He grinned ruefully, shaking his head. "I don't _lose _myself, not like them. Not because of this war. And not in a long while. When I turned eighteen… It was a bad time. The tension of impending war hadn't even really started, but I was bitter nonetheless. Jiraiya helped a lot."

_Two years ago? _I thought. _That's it?_ How did he go from something comparable to what I had to face on the street to this in just a matter of two years? What changed? I would have asked him, but I didn't want to ask him such personal questions when I wasn't ready to do the same. Besides, it was his turn.

"You're chakra. It was depleted when I found you. How did that happen?" It was an innocent question, but my heart jolted in response. As if stimulating the horrid memories to come, I could hear my brother's voice in my head as clear as if he were beside me. _First you get your future ninja status taken away from you, so you take that as a sign to be a ninja on your own time. Then our father dies, and you expect me to go against his wishes?_ I could feel the sting of his hand across my face after he hit me. I could feel it all so clearly. I was so ashamed of everything I had done. I had gone against my father's wishes. I had just met this man, Minato, and he was so nice to me. Would he still treat me this way after he found out that I had gone against my family and leader's wishes for my personal gain?

I shook my head at his question finally, hoping the pain in my features didn't give me away. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not a ninja."

His eyes narrowed at me. "If you're going to answer the question, at least be honest in your response."

My eyes widened. How did he know? "Who says I'm lying? I'm not a ninja."

"Not that I believe that at all, but regardless you _do_ know what I'm talking about. You went to the Ninja Academy in your village. We found you in ninja clothing. When you were in the hospital, you could sense the chakra of Anbu level shinobi, who are trained to be untraceable. When I rescued you your chakra was almost completely emptied. No civilian I have ever met has the ability to control chakra period, much less exhaust their stores. Those wounds on your hands that you're intentionally hiding from me are chakra burns." He didn't seem angry that I had lied, but he expected an answer that I didn't know how to give.

I gulped. "You knew more about me than you let on then."

He shrugged. "That's not an answer."

A few long, loaded seconds passed between us before he finally spoke. "Did you try to _fight_ those shinobi?"

"That's two questions."

"Are you planning on answering my first?"

I huffed in frustration. "I tried fighting them off with your kunai, yes."

"But not with your chakra?" He urged, and I was tempted to declare this a third question (and therefore not requiring an answer yet).

"No, not with my chakra." I stated. "Why do you care so much?"

"Because I got the feeling that you could've fought them had you really wanted to. I want to know why you didn't fight them with your full abilities."

"I didn't use my chakra, because I couldn't." I stated simply, not giving him anymore than that. I could already hear the criticism that would inevitably come once he found out how selfish I was. I tried to change the subject. "What was your sister's name?"

"Manami Namikaze." He said, though I could tell that wasn't going to deter him. "Were you already depleted of chakra when you ran into those men?"

I glared at him, but nodded. I tried once more to change the subject. "Where is your sensei these days?"

"He told me he was going to try his hand at writing a book; said he was going off on a research trip. Not to mention, the Hokage has him gathering information regarding the war. Now, how _exactly_ did you drain your chakra?"

He leaned even closer, watching me in anticipation of my answer. We glared at each other for a good minute before I finally answered him. "I was training, ok? Are you happy now?"

His eyes lit up, telling me that he, in fact, was happy. "I knew it. You are a kunoichi."

I shook my head. "You're wrong. Just because I can punch a tree stump, run a bit faster than the average person, and make the elements move—"

"You can control chakra elements?" He asked, his voice quick and excited.

"It's my turn right now." I reminded him, at which he slumped back in his chair. "None of that makes me a Kunoichi. For my question: That kid you were with when you found me… what's his problem?"

Minato chuckled at my question. "Kakashi? He's a strange little kid. A lot like me, actually. Graduated the academy when he was five, became a chuunin when he was only six years old. He's been in private training since then, but the Hokage thinks it's in his best interest if he is part of a genin team just for the experience. It's frustrating for him, being an eight year old who considers himself better than his ten and eleven year old comrades. He has a deep respect for the ninja code, because of his father, Konoha's White Fang. The man chose to save his friends instead of completing a mission, so he fell into disgrace within the village. In his depression, he committed suicide."

I gasped in shock, my hand reaching up to cover my mouth. I had thought so badly of the boy when we had met that I felt horrible now. "Poor kid."

Minato nodded. "He's a lot like you and me in that aspect… no family to care for him. He was so young, though. Only two when his mother passed and only six when his dad killed himself. I've tried to reach out to him like Jiraiya-sensei did for me, but he's still pretty shut off from the world. But I know how he feels. I could help him, if he'd only let me…"

Suddenly I felt like he wasn't talking about Kakashi anymore. I wanted to shake my head at him, to tell him adamantly that there was nothing he could do for me. I _deserved_ this, and he had no right to take my punishment from me. But he seemed to know what I was thinking without me having to say it. He simply returned to the object of his fixation. "My question is: If you went to the ninja academy, why didn't you become a genin?"

Just like before, flickers of the past danced across my vision as his words struck a painful memory. My father, standing tall and proud as he struck down my hopes and dreams: _I don't want you to be a ninja. By that I mean that you are __forbidden__ from furthering your ninja education and gaining your rank as a genin or further. You, as my daughter and daughter of the Uzumaki main branch, shall not be a ninja. Is that understood?_ No. I don't understand. I don't understand why any of this happened to me at all. But that's not what Minato was asking me.

"When I was eleven years old, I wasn't a genius at the top of my class, yet I knew more than most of my peers combined. My two brothers, Kazuo and Kenji, drilled ninja knowledge into me since before I could remember. They were also fond of the "silent killer" technique, so they often had me hide my abilities from my fellow students until the perfect moment. My moment was supposed to be the genin exams. I was going to get the best score on the exam, and therefore become the first Uzumaki kunoichi _ever._ But my father forbade me from taking the exam or furthering my training. As the village leader and my father, that was that. I had no choice." I was surprised when no tears came. I supposed that I had had enough time to grieve the loss of my dreams, that it didn't reduce me to sobs anymore. I had much fresher wounds to cry over.

Minato's brows furrowed in confusion. "Why not?"

"My turn." I said, shaking my head at him. I almost wanted to laugh at his obvious frustration… almost. He wanted answers now, but that's not how his little game worked. Only, I couldn't think of anything I really wanted to ask other than the one that had been bothering me this whole morning so far. I desperately wanted him to tell me how he recovered from the debilitating grief, but I felt like asking him would hurt myself even more than it would hurt him. I wasn't ready for that. So, I just let the first mindless question that popped into my head come out. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

I paused, my stomach dropping to somewhere around my ankles. What was wrong with me? Why on Earth had that been the _only_ thing I could come up with? Kami, I had to look like an idiot: bright red hair and a bright red face. Minato chuckled at my obvious embarrassment, which only made my face burn more. "No, I currently do not have a girlfriend."

That, I thought, was a bit surprising. After spending one morning with him, I knew he was obviously charming and good-looking (despite the crazy hair)… for girls who liked the knight in shining armor type. Girls that aren't like me, that is. I was surprised he didn't have some equally bright and charming girlfriend. Once again, some girl that is not like me.

I knew what he was going to ask next, so I tried to prepare myself to answer the question. He was going to ask me why my father forbade me from becoming a ninja, but I didn't know if I was ready to get into the whole rogue-brother-destroying-the-great-whirlpool-thing just yet. "Did you lose someone special to you? A boyfriend, I mean."

"No!" I yelped, my eyes going wide. That was not what I had been expecting. I shook my head quickly, blushing profusely. Then, a strange, terrifying thought came to me—something I had overlooked in the past month's chaos. "Well… no one special. I was engaged, though."

This time it was his turn to be shocked. "Engaged?"

I nodded. "My brother, the almost-clan leader, arranged some marriage for me to a nobleman in the Land of Tea for a few days after… after it happened."

"So, you're engaged?" He asked. Why did he look so sad?

I shook my head obdurately. "Not if it's up to me! I didn't want to be, but that wasn't my decision. That's why I ran aw—"

I paused, realizing what I was saying. His expression perked up. "You ran away?"

"Well, I was in the process of running away…" I let the end of that sentence hang in the air for a moment. I could see the moment realization hit him as his face sobered. He knew I had been trying to run away when the attack occurred. I averted my my eyes in shame. "Do you think a bit less of me? Knowing I was running away to shirk my duties as an heiress…"

He shook his head quickly. "Not at all. Not to disrespect your village or its cultures, but you shouldn't be forced to marry some man twice your age that you don't know thousands of miles away if you don't want to. In Konoha at least, you have the right to marry whoever you want… whoever you love."

A long moment passed before he finally cleared his throat. "So… If you were forbidden from taking the exam and training, how are you able to sense chakra signatures and manipulate the elements?"

I grinned mischievously. "Just because I was forbidden didn't mean I stopped training. Between the infernal etiquette and dance classes they put me in, I didn't have much time to myself. But when I did, I trained or studied. I loved being a ninja so much, that I just couldn't give it up."

He smiled suspiciously, and I could practically see the gears turning in his head as he took that in. I looked at him, almost afraid of what he was thinking. "What are you thinking about?"

"I have an idea." He stated.

"And that idea would be?"

"Let's go sparring." He said, a wicked grin breaking across his features.

I laughed a bit, but choked it off when I realized he wasn't kidding. "Are you joking? What happened to me being a _fragile_ little girl that you _had an obligation to take care of? _Now you want to fight me?"

"You have made it clear that you don't like to be called fragile." He reminded me. "And if you love being a ninja so much, shouldn't you want to?"

"I do." I said immediately, my voice coming out in a reverent whisper. "More than anything."

It was true. The thought instantly filled me with a hint of giddiness. It was an amazing feeling. Just the idea of being able to spar with an actual opponent (without the pressure of trying to save my life as well as everyone else's) sounded like everything I had dreamed of for the past six years.

"Then let's do it." He said. "I want to see what you can do."

"But…" I started. "I don't even have the right clothes for it. Not to sound ungrateful, but I think your clothes would slow me down quite a bit."

He chuckled. "Come with me. I have just the thing."

Standing up from the table, he made his way towards the door and looked back to wait for me. I stood hesitantly, following him out of the kitchen and to his bedroom. I gulped, feeling a bit awkward. Why hadn't I thought to make his bed? I shook my head, hoping he wasn't offended. When we were both in his room, he knelt in front of the light colored trunk at the foot of his bed. Opening it slowly, I saw the entire thing was filled with girl's ninja items—clothes, netting, wraps, holsters, and everything I could think of. I glanced at him suspiciously, wondering why he had such a large collection.

He chuckled. "They're my sister's old things. You are about the same size, I think. You're welcome to use any of it. Kami knows, it's not doing much good just sitting in here gathering dust."

"Wow…" I muttered, wondering why he had kept this reminder of his sister for so long.. "Thank you, Minato."

"I'll uh… just leave you to change then." With an embarrassed smile, he left me alone in his room with the door shut. Looking through the various items, I grinned. Manami Namikaze had had much better taste than my cousin, Keiko. Everything in her trunk was practical and efficient (very unlike Keiko's clothing had been), but at the same time flattering for a kunoichi. After trying a few various items together, I settled on an outfit. First I adorned a tight black pair of shorts and shirt, much like the ones I used to wear. Then I pulled on a pair of blue cargo pants that hung low on my hips, just revealing the top of the shorts. I held them in place with a white belt which had sections to hold shuriken and kunai. Over the little black shirt, I put on a blue half-sleeve shirt that cut off just above where the black shirt stopped and a white vest with buckles. If only Manami had been fond of orange, it would have been perfect. Scrounging through the trunk, I found a rubber band to tie up my long hair with. Minato didn't have any mirrors in his room so I could only hope the whole ensemble looked halfway decent.

I had almost forgotten my hands. I found a little first aid kit in the trunk, and took out the alcohol wipes and bandages. I barely winced as I wiped the blood from the scrapes and burns, before I wrapped them. After throwing away the wipes, I found a pair of Manami's black gloves to hide the bandages.

Grabbing a pair of shoes and a kunai pouch, I headed for the door. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to his bedroom. He was there, waiting for me. He had already put on his jounin vest and Konoha headband, which did nothing to tame his wild hair. I paused in his doorway when he finally saw me. His eyes went wide as he took in my outfit. My arms wrapped around my bare stomach self-consciously. It was probably weird for him to see his sister's clothes on someone else. Based on what I had seen in the bathroom mirror last night, I was far too skinny after the past month. It couldn't have been pretty sight over all.

"What is it? Is it that bad?" I finally asked after he hadn't said anything for a long time.

"No!" He yelled quickly. He chuckled at his outburst, his hand subconsciously reaching up to rub the back of his head. "It's nothing. It's just I haven't seen Manami's clothes in a really long time. You look nothing like she did in the same exact clothes, that's all."

"Oh." I muttered solemnly, looking over at the girl in the picture. Of course I didn't look like her—she was beautiful.

"Well, shall we go then?" He asked. I nodded, following him to the door and putting on the shoes and kunai pouch. He opened the door for me, and he led me immediately to a fire escape exit at the end of the hallway. We found ourselves on the balcony of the apartment building, looking over the village. I could see the Hokages' faces, so close, looking over us. The railing was still wet from the rain last night, but the sun was shining now. Minato went to the edge of the railing and looked down, and I could see the training ground at the bottom of his building. Looking back at me conspiratorially, he lifted himself easily onto the railing and jumped off. I watched him as he kicked off a balcony on a lower level into a flip, before landing lithely on his feet in the center of the field.

"Hmph… show off." I muttered.

"Well?" He yelled up to me. "Are you coming?"

I shook my head, lifting myself on top of the railing. I jumped, focusing my restored chakra supply to my feet to break the fall. I could have done some fancy flips, but I preferred to hide my abilities against an enemy—no matter how un-enemy-like he was.

"And you said you didn't know what you were doing, Kushina-hime." He laughed at me. I shook my head. It was so hard to not punch him when I could feel chakra pulsing through my body and I knew I had gloves to protect my hands.

"Must you call me that?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. He laughed and nodded. "Fine. How do you want to do this, Blondie?"

He glared at me, and I looked at him as innocently as I could. "What? You can call me princess, but I can't call you Blondie?"

"Exactly."

"Yeah, not going to happen." I said. "How do you want to do this, Blondie?"

He sighed, but responded. "Come at me with everything you got, Princess."

He laughed at my annoyed expression. "Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, and weapons then? Everything? What about you?"

"Pick a level of difficulty." He said confidently, crossing his arms over his chest, making his muscles stand out.

"What do you mean? I want you to give everything you got!" He laughed as if I'd said something very funny, which only annoyed me more. I _so_ wanted to kick this guy's butt.

"I promise you, you don't want that." He assured me.

"_Yes,_ in fact, I do! Now, fight me with everything you've got! Or are you afraid that a teenage girl will beat you, Blondie?" I taunted. He didn't look angry, just determined. Suddenly he came at me, whipping a kunai out in the process. I met him with one of his sister's kunai, the clashing sound of metal echoing around us. He pushed me back, suddenly, then vanished. I was falling backwards, but I could feel him catch me from behind. I whipped around, aiming a kunai slash at his head, but- again- he vanished. I flipped backwards, but he appeared in front of me again. I spun around as he appeared and disappeared, trying to predict his movements. He was so fast, though, and so unpredictable. Finally, I seemed to make a lucky move—I wouldn't kid myself by saying it had been skill. I caught him, mid-vanish. I looked down at the kunai in my hand where it lodged itself in his chest. His eyes were wide in shock, grasping at my hand where it clutched the kunai. I could feel the warm blood dripping down my fingers.

"Minato?" I gasped, realizing what I had done. What if I had killed him—the person who had rescued me? _No, no, no, no… Please don't die._ His eyes were the worst, morphed in pain and shock. "Minato? Oh Kami, Minato I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry! Please don't die, Minato! Minato? Minato, please say something!"

Then, there was a loud poofing noise as he vanished once again. Before I could understand what had happened, a strong arm wrapped around my stomach and another around my neck. I struggled, but it was no use. Another Minato appeared, walking slowly towards me where I was being restrained by his shadow clone. I couldn't tell which one was the real one. If I hadn't been so angry, I would have been impressed. How had he made three shadow clones all while fighting me and teleporting? The Minato in front of me bent down, looking at my face.

"That wasn't funny." I muttered.

"I can't believe you actually stabbed me." He said, a smirk on his face. I glared at him.

"I wish I actually had." I struggled once again to break out of his grip, and both Minato's laughed at me.

"Is that what you were saying before?" He asked. "I could have sworn it was more like, _Oh Minato, I'm so sorry!_ _Please don't die, Minato!_"

If he hadn't been restraining me, I would have killed him. What was with that falsetto impersonation of my voice? "I don't sound anything like that. What _are _you? Who invents a shadow clone that _bleeds! _That's just so _wrong!_"

"But it tricked you, didn't it?" He asked, his ego practically oozing out of his words. "For most, it's confidence that stalls them with that ninjutsu… but for you, it was shock and sympathy."

"You're cruel." I muttered angrily through my teeth.

"You're weak." He said, the smile never leaving his face. "And you can't stand the sight of blood."

I wish I could've told him he was wrong, but I was just silently thanking Kami that his stupid bleeding clone's blood had vanished with him. He was right—I hated the sight of blood. But I felt like I could make an exception for him after that little stunt.

"Normally I don't mess with an opponent's head if we're just sparring, but you asked for everything I could give." He reminded me, suddenly appearing apologetic for his actions. "I'm sorry I had to beat you that way."

I must have been visibly fuming, because he looked at me curiously and spoke again. "Did it really bother you that much?"

"You play dirty." I spat. "That bothers me."

He shrugged. "An enemy won't play fair, if it stands between him and winning. You learn that after you've fought in as many armies as I have. Sometimes, in order to protect the people you love, you have to stoop to levels you might not always care for."

"And I thought you would be such a stickler for rules, with all the talk of obeying your Hokage."

"There's a huge difference between staying loyal to your Hokage and to the rules of fair play—that's not the problem. It's loyalty to your self and your ninja way that can get compromised." He said, his face suddenly serious as he stared at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, not sure if I understood.

"Here in the Land of Fire, we have something called the _will of fire—"_

"Sounds like an insult to me." I retorted. For the first time since I met him, he looked angry. I paled at his expression, not sure how such a bright and happy person could look so terrifying.

"To be said to possess this will is a great honor in this country. It is not easy to explain. It is a combination of intense skill, a strong dedication to your ninja way, loyalty to your country, and a powerful sense of what is right." He explained.

"Do people say you possess that will?" I asked, sure that I already knew the answer.

He nodded. "People have said so, yes."

I looked at him. His expression was curious. "And you don't agree with them?"

He looked away from me suddenly. "No, not really. It's a huge title to live up to… almost impossible."

"Sounds like it." I said, suddenly realizing what kind of conflict he might be hiding within himself. His pained expression saddened me suddenly, so I tried to change the subject. "Now are we going to spar or not?"

He chuckled and made a hand signal, dispelling his clone from behind me. I fell. He laughed at me where I sat on my butt on the ground.

"Sounds good to me." He reached his hand out to help me up, and my first instinct was to knock it out of my way and get up by myself. But I remembered what he had said about that boy Kakashi— how he'd get better if only he'd let someone in, if only he'd let someone help him. I stared at the hand for a long moment. Could this frustrating, confusing man actually help me in some way? Praying he could, I accepted the hand.

"Ok, Blondie, no mind games this time." I told him, brushing the dirt of my pants and hands.

He laughed. "Whatever you'd like, Princess."

* * *

**So much dialogue T_T This chapter was exhausting really. I'm trying to create certain personas for Minato and Kushina that I'm hoping come across like I mean them to, but I'm not sure if this chapter was successful in doing that. Please let me know.**

**-Taylor**


	12. Determined to Help

**Hello!**

**I know it has been an embarrassingly long time since I've updated, but I've just gotten requests to continue and I had to do it! It's been a crazy time, and I didn't really intend to come back to this. But here it is :) I forgot how much I enjoyed this story, and I sincerely would like to finish this out. I hope you enjoy it!**

**TG**

* * *

Chapter 11- Determined to Help

Walking down the streets of the village I loved, I stretched my tired arms above my head, flexing my sore muscles appreciatively. There really was nothing better than the sudden rush of endorphins after a good, long spar. I looked over at my companion, smiling. "I've got to admit, Princess, you're pretty good. And you haven't had formal training since you were eleven years old, at that!"

A warm blush flooded her cheeks, and her long hair veiled her face as she looked down in embarrassment. Kami, I wondered if she realized just how she looked when she did that. I had never seen someone make bashful look gorgeous before. Like back at my apartment when she had walked out of my bedroom in Manami's clothes; she had looked so self-conscious. Though, I'm sure my staring hadn't helped at all. What could I say though? I was an almost twenty-one year old man. I remembered when I used to see my sister in kunoichi clothes like that, with just a few inches of her stomach showing. At the time, I had thought it was gross. Earlier that day, however, I had silently thanked Manami for her taste in clothes. Because seeing Kushina in the exact same outfit was anything but _gross._

"Are you kidding? You completely pummeled me. All the routines I did, all the books I read… they did nothing to prepare me for sparring a live opponent like that!"

I stopped in the middle of the street, looking over at her incredulously. "Do you mean to tell me that that just now was your first real spar _ever?_"

"Well, not exactly, I guess." She admitted shyly. "We sparred in the academy, but it was baby stuff. Nothing compared to _that._"

I shook my head. It wasn't often that someone gave me a good run for my money—not anymore. At first, I had thought she would be the same as all my other opponents… but I had been mistaken. She was crafty, and she read my attacks well. She had demonstrated two different chakra affiliations, water and wind, as well as a combination of the two. She had decent chakra control, and had even managed to pull a genjutsu on me. Not only that, but she had held her own for _three hours. _I had had to demand we stop for sustenance, or else she might have passed out from chakra depletion. It wasn't your average kunoichi that could do that. You could tell she hadn't had much formal training—not because it made her clumsy and unskilled, but because it somehow made her _better _in a strange way. She thought more outside of the box than most ninja, and it was to her advantage. She was amazing, and- above all else- relentless. I took back what I had said about her being weak (not that I had admitted it to her just yet).

"Your first spar? I'm honored." She looked over at me, obvious confusion in her eyes. I winked at her. "You never forget your first."

The look on her face was priceless. I didn't think it possible, but her cheeks managed to turn the same shade as her vivid red hair. It was absolutely adorable. I laughed at her, knowing it would probably make her angry with me, but I didn't really care. Her anger was like watching a kitten roar—it would have been terrifying had it not been so damn cute.

"I'm not going to inflate your ego anymore than it is already, Blondie." She said in her anger, and I deadpanned at the stupid nickname she had adopted for me. "So if you are looking for a return compliment, don't hold your breath."

"Yeah, I know you think I'm good." I said, noticing how easily my words could evoke her emotions. Usually, I wasn't so cocky. But around her… I didn't know why I acted that way. So many people told me I was great—the Hokage, the civilians, my fellow ninja. My mother had always taught me to be humble. _You're an amazing person, _she used to tell me. _But you're nothing without other people. If a person is your comrade, they support you in your endeavors and they stimulate your success. If a person is your superior, they are the models to which you aspire to be. If a person is a civilian, they are what make your existence possible—they are what you protect. If a person is your enemy, they challenge you to be better. _ _Without any of them, you'd have no one to be amazing for. _Despite everything my mother taught me, however, Kushina just seemed to make me act like a completely different person—not always better, but not exactly bad either. At least, that was not my intention.

"Where are you taking me anyway, Blondie?" She asked, and I could practically see the hard shell she tried to keep go back up. I had figured out that there was a few emotions that could make that shell crumble instantly—anger or embarrassment, for example. Normally I wouldn't go out of my way to make a girl angry with me or embarrassed around me (that just sounds pointless, doesn't it?), but, if it meant I could see the real Kushina that hid behind that pained shell, then it was worth it. I had a feeling she was going to hate me eventually, with the way I was forced to treat her. But- as much as the idea of being the object of her hatred bothered me- I wanted her to get better. It was worth it to lose her as a friend if she could just be happy again. It had taken me over half a decade to finally let go of that same shell, the one I caught her noticing in that picture of me on my mantle, the one taken of me when I was sixteen. I didn't want her to have to deal with that as long as I had.

"Lunch, I was thinking. What's your favorite food?" I asked her.

She smirked. "Is it your turn to ask a question?"

"I don't remember whose turn it is!" I laughed. "But if you want to eat something you like for lunch, I suggest you tell me."

"Salt ramen is my favorite." She said, looking almost reminiscent when she said it. I stored that look away in my mind to ask about later.

"Perfect, I know just the place then." I told her, leading her towards a little ramen stand I liked not too far away. Suddenly, she stopped, mumbling something to herself unintelligibly. I looked back at her where she was paused in the middle of the street. "What is it, Princess?"

"I'm sorry, it's just… I don't have any money with me." She admitted. "The money the Hokage left for me is in my apartment."

I looked at her sad expression, shaking my head. "I'm _taking_ you to lunch; therefore I had already decided that I'd be paying for you regardless of whether or not you have money with you."

"But, Minato, you can't—"

"I can, and I will." I told her. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I left a young lady hungry?"

She scoffed. "Yeah. A real _gentleman…_"

"Why, Princess, I'm hurt." I told her, clutching at my heart as if in pain. "I was unaware that any of my actions were _anything_ but courteous. I express my sincerest apologies if they have come across as the slightest bit ignoble."

Her eyes went wide in surprise, looking down at me where I had bent low in front of her. I smirked—I wasn't going to pretend I didn't know how acting chivalrous and speaking like a gentleman affected women. However, seeing my self-satisfied smirk, Kushina's eyes narrowed and she punched me hard in the shoulder. I laughed, standing up straight. Only my pride prevented me from rubbing my throbbing shoulder. Had she put chakra behind that? I shook my head. I should have realized she wouldn't melt into a puddle at my feet like other girls, because she wasn't like other girls. Kunoichi or not, girls normally didn't like to seem so violent, especially around me. But she didn't mind putting a guy in his place one bit.

As we approached the stand, I held back the curtain over the entrance for Kushina. The man who owned the placed looked up, his face lighting up when he set eyes on us. "Minato-san! It's good to see you. It's been a while, huh?"

I shook hands with the man. "Sure has, Takumi-san. How's your family?"

"Great, actually. Wife's been happy; kids are growing up too fast. My brother, Teuchi, is actually thinking about starting his own stand in another part of the village. Thinks he can show me up. Ha!"

I laughed with him, knowing that beating Takumi's ramen would be quite a feat. "And who might this be? Is this your girlfriend, Minato-san?"

"What?!" Kushina exclaimed, instantly turning red. "No, we're not—"

"This is my new friend, Kushina, Takumi-san. I've been showing her around the village." I interjected, trying not to make his statement a big deal. If there was one thing the villagers of Konoha loved, it was gossip. I didn't think it wise to make Kushina an object of such a fixation, not when she was trying so desperately to be left alone. If the first time she really left her apartment she was scrutinized or made the object of rumors, I doubted she'd ever leave her apartment again. It was definitely a risk, walking around with me. The villagers knew me, knew what I looked like (hence my nickname, the Yellow Flash). If they saw me with a girl, it was almost inevitable that speculation would spread.

"Oh, well it's great to have new people in the village, especially if they come to my stand!" The man laughed at his joke. "So, what can I get for the two of you today? Can I assume you want your regular order, Minato-san?"

"Yes, please, and an order of salt ramen for Kushina." He looked suspiciously at me, and I was glad Kushina wasn't paying too much attention. Takumi was one of those people who was good at reading people- or at least considered himself to be. After having so many people pass through his stand, where he had ample excuse to observe them at close range, he thought he had human interaction down to a science. But he was wrong in this case. I knew what that look meant: the _are you sure there's nothing going on between you two? _look. Sure, I found her attractive, but that didn't mean anything. I had just met this girl; this very vulnerable girl whom I could never even think of romantically without feeling manipulative. I tried my best to convey that entire thought process to Takumi with one reproachful look. He merely chuckled to himself.

"What did I miss?" Kushina asked, finally acknowledging our almost-silent exchange.

"Nothing." I said, the slightest bit of annoyance seeping into the single word. She looked skeptically at me, but I did not elaborate.

It took only a few minutes of comfortable silence before Takumi had two steaming bowls in front of us. I waited to start my meal, instead watching Kushina's expression as she stared wistfully into the gold broth. There was so much turmoil behind those slate-gray eyes, I couldn't comprehend it. How could ramen make her appear so emotional? I made an attempt to distract her, to remind her of anything but whatever was hurting her.

"So? How did it feel?" I asked her, causing her to break her intense gaze away from the bowl.

"What?"

"How did it feel? To get back to what you love to do… to finally have the opportunity to spar with a real opponent?" I asked, grateful when the pain in her expression went away.

"I felt… great." She said, stirring the noodles with her chopsticks. She was giving me short answers again. She was shutting me off, when it felt as if she and I had been speaking like old friends only moments ago. How could this one meal, perhaps a reminder of her past, cause that to happen so suddenly? I could practically feel the doors closing around her; the barest space left between them. I felt desperate. I felt like I was the only thing keeping those doors from shutting and crushing her behind them. I remembered those same walls that I had put up myself. There was nothing worse than that feeling: that feeling that no matter how close you get to other people, you will always be alone. That feeling of your life stopping while the world just continues on without you. I couldn't stand it any longer. It took me so many years. And now it seemed as if a part of me was intent on exposing myself to that feeling again and again: first with Kakashi and now with Kushina. Why did everyone around me seem to break before my eyes? Or was it just that I felt obligated to protect others from it, that I was drawn to those who reminded me of my former self? That was probably it.

"We should do that again." I said, scrambling for words that would catch her attention. The slightest glimmer of hope came back into her eyes. "After I show you around a bit more and you get your bearings, we can make that a regular occurrence. As long as you don't get too tired of my company, that is…"

"No!" She cried suddenly, choking a bit on her noodles. She coughed, composing herself. "No, I'd like that. Sparring… sparring would be good for me."

"I think so too. You know you should consider becoming a shinobi of the Leaf." She choked again, this time because of her disbelieving scoff. When she realized I wasn't kidding, she gulped and her eyes went wide.

"You've got to be joking." She said, and I grinned in triumph. _There_ it was. The doors were back open. Now I just had to keep them that way; had to keep her from shutting herself away.

"Why would you think that? You're well past the level of most ninja we have. You're at least on par with your age group. I don't see why that's so unbelievable."

She swallowed hard, contemplating her words before she uttered them. She murmured in a low whisper, as if afraid someone would over hear her. "Your Hokage would be a fool to allow a foreigner into his ranks right now."

"And why is that?"

"For one, we are in the midst of a war between most nations. Loyalty is of the utmost importance. Nationalism is key for an army to function. You should know the proverb: _One single grain of rice can tip the scale_. I have no allegiance to your country besides a few distant relatives and the frayed remains of an alliance. Giving me a head band would not be worth the risk of losing this war."

"Losing this war? Think pretty highly of yourself, don't you?" I chuckled, trying to hide my shock with a joke. Mostly, I was surprised by how serious her speech had been. I hadn't pegged her as one who focused on politics. Then again, she had been an heiress. And I recall her discussing classes she had been forced to take… perhaps they had taught her such things. Or maybe that was simply Kushina. She glared at me.

"For another reason, your Hokage has no reason to believe I'm worthy of such honor, besides perhaps the reputation of my family for its skill with seals and weapons. But reputation does not make a shinobi, and I know little of my family's arts since they refused to teach me themselves. Your Hokage, if he's done as much research as I believe he has, thinks me no more than a shallow heiress with about as much power as a delicate water lily."

"After a single conversation with you, I think he's been cured of such delusion." I at least merited a smirk from her. "Besides, he would need only watch you spar with me for thirty seconds before he realized your skill."

She was flattered by the compliment, which I could tell from the slight rosiness in her cheeks. She tried to ignore her own reaction. "And lastly… who ever said I _wanted_ to be a ninja of the Leaf?"

I leaned towards her, narrowing my eyes in scrutiny. She attempted to ignore me, suddenly becoming engrossed in her staring contest with the ramen. "Don't give me that. Everything about you screams shinobi. You can give me the political speech. That I may be able to understand. But you will _never_ make me believe that you don't want this with every fiber of your being."

She looked up at me, staring at me intensely across the counter between us. "It doesn't matter how much I want it."

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what matters." I told her. "What is it that's holding you back? What happened that made your father forbid you from taking your exam?"

"Minato, I don't want to discuss this—"

"Please, Kushina." I told her, cutting off her words. I felt like I was close to some vital piece of information—a key reason for why she acted this way and made up excuses not to be happy. "Why do you refuse to admit that you want this? Don't you want to be happy?"

She stood, her eyes glossy with unshed tears, and fled. I slammed my fist against the counter, cursing my own foolishness. It was my job to relieve her of her grieving, to make her feel safe in my home village. But I was attacking her more than anyone else, even those drunken men on the street. I ran my fingers through my hair, vowing in my frustration to never push her like that again. No matter how much she intrigued me, no matter how much I wanted to know her past I would _not_ force the story out of her. If she did not tell me of her own volition, I simply did not need to know.

"Well?" I looked up into Takumi's face as he peered scornfully down at me. "Are you going to go after her or what?"

I nodded at him, throwing down enough money to cover both practically untouched meals plus a generous tip. I made a hand signal, rapidly shifting through all my seals in a five mile radius until I caught the trace of her chakra signature. I followed it, finding her sitting in the middle of two intersecting paths in an abandoned part of town. She had run far in that short amount of time. I went forward, crouching in front of her.

"I hate this place." She muttered into her knees. "I can't make sense of these roads. They all look the same."

I chuckled at her, reaching out to help her off the dirty ground. She peered at it skeptically. "Come on. You'll learn them in time.

She walked beside me as we strolled along the empty streets, looking away from me as if she were embarrassed. I frowned, knowing I had caused her to feel that way. "Kushina-hime?"

"Yes?" She asked, only looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

I stopped abruptly in the path, forcing her to look confusedly in my direction. I locked eyes with hers, hoping she understood how sorry I was. "I can't tell you how sorry I am, princess. I promised you that I would never push you if you didn't want to answer my questions, and I broke that promise on our very first day together. I swear that it will never happen again."

The faintest twitch of a smile tugged at the corner of her lips, her cheeks glowing just slightly with a blush. She shrugged. "I overreacted. It's not a big deal…"

She started walking forward, putting a few paces between us before she finally added, "Blondie."

With a chuckle, I followed in her wake. As we found ourselves closer to the center of town, the number of people we crossed increased. I pointed out landmarks, shops that offered the best deals, and my favorite restaurant, trying to distract her from the increasing number of looks we were getting as more and more people noticed us together. I inwardly braced myself for some confrontation, some unfriendly villager or piece of gossip I would have to protect her from. But I hadn't anticipated what was coming instead.

"Namikaze! Hey, Namikaze!" A familiar voice cut through the noise of the crowd around us, and I turned to see a woman my age approach Kushina and I. I smiled when she stopped in front of us, panting slightly from hurrying to catch us. She was dressed in her traditional jounin clothes and vest, and I wondered how long it would be before she'd have to quit her job as a shinobi. She was engaged to probably the most powerful future

clan leader in Konoha, after all. "Hey, Namikaze! How have you been? I haven't seen you around much at all! I heard you got a genin team and had to leave Anbu temporarily."

I nodded. "Hey Nakashima. I'm doing fine, thank you. Yeah, the Hokage asked me to lead a special team and leave Anbu to focus on that. I didn't mind though. It's a nice break."

"I bet! All our friends are off doing the hardest jobs in this war, and you're slacking off with a bunch of ten year olds!" She laughed, sticking her tongue out at me playfully.

"Hey, the Hokage requested it and I don't deny the old man." I winked, only making her laugh harder.

"I know." She said, but gasped suddenly. She looked at the girl beside me as if she had just noticed her. She leaned close to the girl, scrutinizing her face from mere inches away. I sighed, knowing she didn't have much sense of personal boundaries. Kushina's eyes went wide, but she did not back away. "And who would this be? What's your name, kid? Is this one of your new genin, Namikaze?"

I could practically see the steam coming from Kushina's ears, and I backed away slowly in fear that she might explode. Nakashima did not back down from Kushina's irate expression. If someone had told me that the frail girl I had found in the forests outside of Uzu, and Nakashima, one of the best Kunoichi jounin I knew, would square off, I would have told you that Nakashima would win, hands down. After spending a day with Kushina and sparring with her, however, I was not so sure. It would be an interesting battle for sure, but potentially catastrophic in the middle of a busy street full of civilians as we were.

I attempted to get the girls' attention. "Hey, uh… Nakashima? I don't think it's too wise to make her angry."

She ignored me, of course. I was in front of two of perhaps three women that I believe would ignore me on a regular basis and not care whether or not I minded. The only one missing was Tsunade. "Aw, Namikaze, she's pretty cute! Kinda gloomy though. I bet she and Kakashi get along well, huh? What's your problem, kid?"

I swear I could practically hear something in Kushina snap. "I'm not a genin! And I'm not a kid for that matter, I'm seventeen years old! And no, for your information, I don't know Kakashi and we don't get along well. And I'm not _cute!_! And why the hell are you talking about me like I'm not even here?!"

Nakashima blinked, her eyes going wide at Kushina's outburst. My curiosity as to who would win in a fight was closely rivaled by my worry. _Please don't kill each other. _ I prayed. But then, thankfully, Nakashima just started laughing. "Oh. Sorry, kid, didn't mean to insult you or nothing."

"And stop calling me kid!" Seemingly oblivious to Kushina's anger, Nakashima affably clapped a hand on her shoulder.

"I like her, Namikaze! Where'd you find her?" Kushina deadpanned as she realized that the older woman probably would not acknowledge her at all.

I laughed at the irony, which- by her blush- I assumed Kushina hadn't missed either. "Actually, it's funny you should say that."

"So are you going to tell me her name, or what?"

"Oh, my apologies. How terribly rude of me. Nakashima, this is my new friend, Kushina. Kushina, this is my old friend, Mikoto Nakashima."

"I am _not _old! I'm twenty-one, only a few months older than you, Namikaze!" She exclaimed, punching me in the shoulder in the same place Kushina already had. I tried not to let the intense pain show. I was being abused by all my female friends, it seemed. Or maybe I just made friends with females who were far too strong for their own good.

"You know what I mean."

"Hey!" She said, poking the fabric resting on the crook of Kushina's arm (once again, Mikoto was not one for personal boundaries). "Those are Manami's old clothes aren't they?"

"That they are." I said, smiling. If anyone would recognize those clothes, it would be Mikoto. She had idolized my sister growing up, often buying the same clothes so she'd look like her.

"Hmm…" She muttered, eyeing Kushina from head to toe. "Not bad, not bad. Manami would approve of your combination. Manami always had the best style for a Kunoichi. But they're just a bit too big for you. Manami was curvy and tall, where as you are scrawny and short."

I chuckled nervously, afraid that Kushina's head was going to explode at any moment.

"I know!" Mikoto exclaimed. "I'll take you shopping!"

"What?" Kushina exclaimed, her anger melting away beneath the shock. "No, you _really _don't have to do that!"

"I know!" Mikoto said, her excitement visibly growing. She smiled wryly. "That's what makes me so nice!"

Kushina deadpanned. "I'm really quite ok with these clothes. I'm new to the village and don't have much money to spend on new clothes."

"No, I simply won't allow it! An attractive kunoichi should never settle for hand-me-downs. They'll only slow you down! No friend of mine will go second-hand."

"We're friends?" She asked, gulping nervously as if that possibility was dangerous. I chuckled at her comment, aware that all of Kushina's protests went into one of Mikoto's ears and out the other.

"Besides!" Mikoto added. "My future in-laws are positively _loaded_. They throw money at me all the time, and it has to go to some good use. _This_ is good use!"

I chuckled, enjoying the quite amusing turn of events. "It is your birthday after all, Kushina."

Kushina stared daggers at me, while Mikoto squealed with glee. "_And it's your birthday?! _Oh come on, we'll have so much fun! I'll show you all the best places to go and it will be great! You'll be a professional Konoha shopper in no time!"

Kushina looked scared out of her wits, shooting a pleading glance at me. I shook my head at her. I would not save her from this. Meeting new people would be good for her. Besides, if anyone could get Kushina Uzumaki out of her shell it was Mikoto Nakashima.

"Actually…" I said, thinking of a plan to get her to go with Mikoto. "I do need to see the Hokage about something. Would you mind terribly if I allowed Mikoto to escort you for the rest of the day, Kushina-hime?"

Kushina didn't have it in her to be angry with me, in the blind-sided state that she was. She nodded, staring wide-eyed at the other woman. I chuckled, leaning in closer to her to whisper in her ear. "You'll be fine. Mikoto is great company, I swear it."

"If you say so." She muttered back.

I looked at Mikoto with a mock stern expression. "The Hokage has put Kushina in my care until she gets her bearings in the village. By entrusting her with you, Nakashima, I'm jeopardizing my standing with the Hokage."

"Don't make me slap you, Namikaze." She threatened, making me laugh as she shooed me away.

"Ok! Ok! I'm going! Just promise me you won't do too much psychological damage to the poor girl!"

"I promise."

"And you won't go crazy with the shopping?" She pushed me farther and farther from the stunned redhead.

"I won't go crazy." She accompanied her promise with another forceful shove in the direction of the Hokage building.

"And you'll feed her if you're still bugging her by dinner time?"

"I'll feed her."

"And you'll return her safely to her apartment at a reasonable hour?"

"If you don't leave us to our shopping day, I will literally kick you all the way to the Hokage building." She promised, and I knew she wasn't kidding. I looked one last time toward the girl that the Hokage had left in my charge, making sure she seemed stable enough before I left.

"Go ahead." She called, just loud enough so I could hear across the distance that had come between us. "I'll be ok… I think."

Mikoto giggled with delight, running back to the girl and taking her arm in her own. Within one step towards the shopping district, Mikoto was talking Kushina's ear off. I laughed, making the hand signals so I could teleport directly into the Hokage's office. The world around me melted away for a brief moment before I found myself in the old man's office.

"It's futile, isn't it?" He asked, in reference to my using the front door.

"Probably." I said absent-mindedly as I sat down in a chair before the Hokage's desk.

"What do you want now, Minato? I'm expecting visitors any moment." He said, never looking up at me from his stack of papers.

"It's about Kushina." I said simply, not delaying the man any more than I had to…. Well, a little more than I had to.

"Of course, of course. How is she faring? I'm afraid I've neglected to check in on her, so I hope you've been taking your recent assignment seriously."

"I'm afraid I experienced the same problem. I neglected to see to her well-being for the first few days after she was released. She was wandering the village in the rain, injured and alone, and came across some drunkards in the street. The kunai I gave her signaled for me, and I got to her before it was too late, thank Kami."

I had the Hokage's full attention now. "Minato, I'm disappointed. I expect more from you."

"I know. My actions were inexcusable." I relented.

"And why was she injured?"

"She had been training." I said, trying to keep a silly grin from breaking my calm expression as the Hokage's jaw dropped open in surprise.

He sputtered a bit, scrambling for words. "But that's imp—"

"Impossible, I know." I said, delving into the story of my morning and early afternoon with the fascinating young woman. "She never finished her genin training back home, I know. But she's determined, Hokage-sama. She was banned from shinobi life, but she pursued it anyway, all by herself! She trained herself from books and a single tree stump. She can already manipulate the elements! She's feisty, and a damn good fighter to boot!"

"You sparred with her? Minato, I cannot allow you to—"

"Hokage-sama, please!" I finally begged, shutting his words off mid-sentence. His mouth shut firmly, subdued by my insistence. "Please, just listen to me. It's her birthday, and this is all she asked for! This is the only thing that has been able to break her from her grief. It's the only thing she's ever wanted in her life, and everyone in her life has denied her the opportunity to demonstrate her skills thusfar. Now that she's lost everything… she may finally have the opportunity to gain something that has always evaded her: her right to be a shinobi."

The Hokage leaned back in his chair, looking at me intently as he traced the line of his white beard. "What do you expect me to do, place a seventeen year old woman in a genin school of 10 year olds?"

I had to focus to keep the wide grin from breaking across my face, knowing that I had won. "You know that can't be done—it would confuse the children and embarrass Kushina-hime. Besides, she's far beyond any beginner level. If you'll allow it, sir, I think I have a solution. Let _me_ train her in our ways. She has the raw talent; she just needs some polishing. In a few months or so, you can see her for yourself. At that time, you can decide what her future as a shinobi will be."

"What about your genin team, Minato?" He asked, and I cursed under my breath. I hadn't thought about that.

"I got it!" I said, with far more enthusiasm than I had wished for. I coughed, lowering my voice to a calmer level. "Nakashima. Mikoto Nakashima, she'll help me."

"Fugaku Uchiha's future bride?" He replied skeptically. "Her wedding is in three months, is it not? I doubt she has time to help you with your genin time."

"She does. And if not, she'll make time for me. I just know it." We stared at each other for a few tense moments before he sighed in defeat. Victory burst in my chest, and I had to stop myself from jumping up from the chair and hugging the man.

I stood calmly and shook his hand heartily instead. "You won't regret this, Hokage-sama."

He shook his head, his eyes crinkling with laughter. "I sincerely doubt that."

Before he could rescind his offer, I made the proper hand signs and vanished from his office. It wasn't until I was safely in my apartment that I allowed myself to celebrate the small win. Now all I had to do was get two of the most stubborn girls I had ever known to agree to it. I sank down onto my sofa, thinking how daunting a task that was in itself.

Mikoto would pretend to argue—that was half of our relationship anyway, playful arguing. But I could tell that she had already taken highly to Kushina, and once she became friends with someone, there was little she wouldn't do to make that person happy—or to harm those who brought unhappiness upon them. She was one of the most loyal friends I had ever had, and I knew that she would do it to help me if not Kushina. As for her marriage, I doubted that would inhibit her greatly. She had yet to allow the Uchiha family to subdue her wild spirit, and I doubted that a marriage license would be anymore successful in doing so.

I could already tell that Kushina had reservations when it came to her skills as a shinobi. Having been denied her chance for so long, I understood why she might be nervous to finally have the opportunity. She probably felt as they she was betraying her family so shortly after their death. But I _knew_ that nothing would keep her from the shinobi life for long. She was born for it, and even her grief and her guilt were not strong enough to subdue her fierce desire for it.

This would work. I was quite certain of it.

It wasn't long before I became restless, sitting alone in my apartment, wondering how the girls were doing. I found Kushina's jacket hanging in the bathroom, and I took it down out of my curiosity. The orange and red jacket was far too large for my tall frame, much less Kushina's tiny body. I turned in my hands, wondering who it might have belonged to. No one from the village was alive to have given this to her, so she must have grabbed it before she left. Whose jacket could have been so important to her that she would have saved it before any other of her wordly possessions? I had asked her if she had left anyone special behind in her village, and she had said no—would she have lied? Could she have loved some boy enough to protect the clothing he had perhaps lent her during their time together?

I shook my head at my stupid thoughts, wondering what was happening to me. What did I care if this had been the jacket of a man she cared for? That was her business, not mine. I folded the jacket neatly and jumped out my window, intending to return Kushina's jacket to her personally. She would obviously want it back.

Not to mention, it gave me an excuse to check on her after the trauma of an afternoon with Mikoto.

I found the building that the Hokage had found for Kushina, and grimaced at the sight. It was quite an old building, much shabbier than I had anticipated. It did have a small, old training ground behind it, which I inspected quickly, seeing the fresh wounds it had suffered from Kushina's recent training session.

I found my way up to her room, knocking on it timidly, hoping she wasn't already sleeping after such a long day. When there was no answer, I knocked a bit harder. Nothing.

Sighing at myself for the deep disappointment I felt at her prolonged absence, I leaned against her door, sinking down to the floor as I waited for her to return. When I had told her in the hospital that I would sit on her doorstep if that were what it would take to get closer to her, I had only been kidding. Yet, here I was, quite pathetically, doing just that.

* * *

**I didn't do much editing to this, so pardon the mistakes. I hope to have the next up soon! (much sooner than this one, I assure you XD)**


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